Spirituality for introverts: how to keep extroverts from ruining your alone time

A lot of my posts refer to people who are sexually frustrated or societally conditioned weird people waiting for liberation, but what if you are someone who doesn’t really suffer in life, but you’re simply not overjoyed, either? What if you simply need a little bit of help to not be so linked to what other people expect of you, like joining an endless array of family gatherings you could easily live without?

As I write that question, I have no idea how to answer it. One of my aunts is the inspiration, someone who is very much happy with the way she lives, but who hopes there was a little less than what she needs to do in order to keep everyone else happy; people who are simply there, without her really wanting them to be. “I want to grow old in peace, reading my books and be left alone, but I know everyone is simply waiting for a chance to roll me into a home so that I can be ‘more social’.” In other words, how an introvert can get the extroverts off their backs and stop thinking of introverts like they were harming themselves somehow by simply keeping to their own company.

One of the simplest methods requiring very little effort is to focus on affirmations; sentences designed to change other people’s opinion about you, the energy you put out to people (and when used wrong, lying to yourself about the way things are). Affirmations can change the external layer of what people pick up off you; for instance, if you always focus on the idea that “soon someone is going to drag me out of my home and force me to socialize” the emotion you put out is “I am unhappy”, a stress signal that extroverts and savior -types are drawn to like flies to… Instead, try focussing on how happy you are with your books and whatever it is that you are doing: “I have my book, I have my cup of perfect coffee, I have hours to spend alone with my imagination, and I AM BLISSED OUT!” That is like hanging a “do not disturb” sign on your hotel door, and people who care about you will feel happy knowing that you are happy.

Then, only ever focus on how happy you are doing exactly what you are doing, and try to never do anything you are not happy doing. I know we all have to sometimes do stuff that we’re not too pleased about, but when you do get to be by yourself and do whatever it is that you enjoy doing; painting, creating, reading, writing, imagining stuff, make sure you hang the sign: “I am too happy for you right now, I am focussed on something, please do not make a sound!”

Then, reinforce this by periodically TELLING people how it is that you enjoy spending your time because they don’t really know. When your extroverted sister calls you, remember to mention to them how you loved the book that you enjoyed, and try to remember that they really, only, truly want you to be happy, even if they were really crap at showing it… Therefore, when you tell them your day was excellent, try to sound that way, too, like you were trying to tell a story to someone who has never enjoyed a book in their lives. 😉

Yeah, that is it.

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