Have you ever wondered what people consider normal sex? Maybe you’ve been wondering it for a long time because nobody you know is having it. 😀 I am in the perfect position to tell you what is considered the expectation in real life scenarios, forgetting psychological study and medians that people draw… This is the real world:

OK. Hi. I am a bit of a slut. I’ve been around. 😀 Therefore, I am in the perfect position to tell you exactly how far people expect things to go in bed without specifically asking favors of you. These rules are unwritten, and here is the norm of the normal sex, for the not prude, nor the kinky, the average expectation of everything combined:

Normal Sex Positions:

• The missionary (Every Time. Don’t mock the missionary!)
• The missionary with woman’s legs on his shoulders (No pressure leaving this out if your partner doesn’t initiate.)
• Doggy style (also, a tad special occasions sort of thing, but common)
• Woman on top (Every Time.)
• Sometimes, somewhat rarely; the scissors (probably my own thing, I think I initiate it myself, pictured,but blokes go for it)
• Cunnilingus (Him wishing to avoid it is normal)
• Blowjobs (Her wishing to avoid it is normal – but most men do not expect blowjobs early on in the relationship)
• 69 would be considered normal, it’s just that people rarely like it that much because you have to focus on two things at the same time making both a bit clunky

A sigh of relief, anyone? Only TWO of these are to be expected to happen every time – although there’s going to be a pick of a variant or two, too, depends who you’re with and for how long. That is about all that you need to know in a normal sexual interaction when neither expects anything crazy to happen (anything crazy will be discussed separately). Stuff like anal and bondage and what not are very much considered unusual and “kinky” so there’s no pressure to get into those things, normally. And in case you’re wondering, piss and poop games are VERY VERY much out there, for even most kinksters, and MOST people avoid that stuff and would run like hell at a person suggesting it. (Piss being much more accepted out of the two.)

What is also to be expected, that people with less experience will try to put on a show of a real sex kitten or a stud, not really knowing what the norm is… So… Don’t feel pressured to, it rarely leads up to anything that amazing.

Now… And for the people who do not stick to this list? Do your partners go along with you? Yes? All’s good.

Normal sex timing

It is, in my books, perfectly normal to have sex on the first date if it goes really well, but it is also very common for people to see each other a couple of times before they take that step. However… If you feel weird about having to wait that long, I do urge you to slip away fast if things don’t progress, because there is two very different thinker types in question; to one, sex means commitment, and these people want to take a longer time to get to know each other and to ensure they actually want to begin a relationship. A lot of men  think all women think this way, but it is not the case at all, so men who do not want to begin a permanent relationship at the moment you first have sex, should have that discussion with their women on the second or third date that hasn’t led to sex yet. Women who think it is normal to have sex without it meaning a commitment will be very relaxed about having sex on the first date. (Something that is good to know. Also, these women may have had more sex than the other type, but it still doesn’t mean they “sleep with everybody” or that they are not looking for a monogamous relationship with the guy that just fits their groove so to speak.)

If you want something that you’d consider “a normal relationship” (as much as there is one), I would urge you to have as many dates before sex as you feel the need to. Do not hurry it, and if you lose a bloke during this, you will lose him later regardless, so don’t worry about it. It’s a good test to see whether or not this is a good match. And also remember that if he fails this test it doesn’t mean he’s a horrible person or a bad individual, it’s just that he belongs to other kind of women, and you’re just not his type. (Did you notice the tag line of my blog? 😉 ) Also, there are men who want to take things slow and have no idea why people want to rush into things so fast. They are your kind of blokes. If you do online dating, make sure you emphasise the word “normal” a lot, so that you will be bringing in the guys who will sigh of relief for not having to perform as studs just to get a girl to like him… And same for men reading this, of course. (I’m just thinking about a woman as I write this.)

Women set the pace

It is also considered the norm that it is women who set the pace going into a relationship and into a sexual situation. I am not sure I like this myself, but it is the way it is and women are the ones who are expected to initiate sex, although men are often the ones who initiate the first kiss… (Don’t overthink this, though, this is not an exam.) How do women do it? The sexy way is to just not stop kissing him until he knows this means sex is coming. There is a point at which one would normally break off a kiss, but if you want the kiss (wherever that happens) to lead to the bedroom, just don’t let go.

The other way is to talk about it, but that is really a sucky way to do it, and leads to very boring and dry experience marked by a need to perform; to go through the motions, as it was initiated when the mood was low and then one has to artificially bring up the mood because you agreed to. Boo. The less is said out loud the better.

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