True Love like the Government Benefits
Monogamy is the practice of counting people as if they were rations during a war time grocery store. “One for each, one for each!” You would all gasp in horror if we were to count the number of friends or the number of children a person is entitled to have all to themselves. Marriage is an equal idea to the practice of ensuring that your friend will never be friends with anyone else but yourself, even if they really wanted to be. True Emotion Mirrors, in the wrong hands, is an idea that gives a person the God-given-right to chase and stalk someone a person wants if the “signs” are there, and claim that person as their possession. Further, monogamy has seemingly turned love into a perceived right, not only are we limited to one partner each, a lot of people seem to believe that we are also entitled to one partner each, regardless of who we are, what we are like, and how we treat that one person.
I have spoken to many people who insist that they have met their “True Emotion Mirror”, when, in fact, they have met… someone, which, to me, sounds like: “I have met the person with my name written all over him, I want to make a claim on him, but he thinks he had the right to fall in love with this other woman instead!” They sound like I was supposed to fix a clerical error that caused this bloke to go and fall in love with the wrong person. “Inform him that he must fall in love with me instead! All the signs point to me having all the right to call him my own!”
“No honey, you just fell in love with someone who doesn’t want you. It happens to the best of us.”
“No, but our numerological signs state…”
“I don’t give two shits about your astrological charts, your numerology report, your feeling of him belonging to you by God’s command or any other drivel that you can spew my way: is the bloke in love with you or not?”
“He’s in denial and he thinks he can have an easier life with that other girl…”
“Why does he consider her easier?”
“She is very sexual.”
“Oh well there you have it. He likes the girl because she’s not a stiff, selfish, dried up boring cunt like you.”
Or, that is, at least, the way I WISH those conversations would end.
I started writing about True Emotion Mirrors in order to encourage people who had truly fallen for someone they barely knew in a way they had no idea could happen, on the spot, with such force and irreversibly that they could not even breathe at the thought of talking to the bloke or the girl to keep breathing. I wanted to tell single people who are just about to give up hope that true love actually does exist and that all you have to do is to wait until it strikes you like a lightning and that at that moment you just know that this person will hold your heart captive forever, no matter what happens.
And as you both are struck blind at the idea of having fallen in love in a way that this culture says is impossible, like being touched by God himself, people shy away from it, explain it away and tell themselves they are dreaming… It was these people that I wanted to tell to just… believe it. It happens. It’s real.
But instead, I get this bunch of women who simply want to claim a guy as if he was a government benefit of some sort, their right, their God-given right to call him their own, knock him over with a club, and to drag him into her cave.
I try to explain to them that true love is about the other person, not about you or your rights, it’s about setting them free, about making them happy, about…
“oh no but all the signs say…”
“Fuck you and your signs. Do you love this guy more than you love yourself? So much you can’t breathe near him?”
“Well, he’s just unevolved and can’t see all of this.”
“I’ll take that as a no, then. You love yourself and you want what belongs to you.”
“Yes. To the last part. I want what belongs to me.”
“He doesn’t belong to you.”
“How can you say that, I’ve never wanted anyone quite like I want him!”
“Yeah well, obviously he doesn’t feel that way about you.”
“But True Emotion Mirrors run from you.”
“Sounds to me that any man would do wisely to run a mile from you, True Emotion Mirror or otherwise…”
“But he’s my True Emotion Mirror.”
“I doubt it.”
This conversation, or the polite variation of it, could go on for months sometimes, until I realized there was no reasoning with these people – and, quite, I do understand I am a very slow learner when it comes to the unfathomable level of stupidity of the fellow members of my gender, but I do live in hope. Did. I used to live in hope. Now the best thing I think I can do is to just keep the objects of their mindless worship away from them and save them from the near-inevitable fate of being married off to one of these lunatics.
People would never assume the right to a friend… Well, sorry, normally, people wouldn’t consider a friend their property like they do with True Emotion Mirrors. What is the crazy part is, that they usually claim someone who they don’t really respect too much because that makes them think that “surely I can’t claim the ownership on someone like Brad Pitt, but good heavens I can state a claim on that sorry blighter if I well want him!” In reality, initially, a True Emotion Mirror makes us doubt our very right to be in the presence of such an amazing person, not because they were showy or anything, just that they are everything that you admire and love… No matter how far off the stereotypical ideal they fall. This feeling can also turn on its head, in which case the idea becomes “oh this person thinks they can have anyone they want, but they will surely be mistaken with me!” and THAT is the denial True Emotion Mirrors speak of. A person who thinks they haven’t got a snow ball’s chance in hell with the person they fall for will easily convince themselves that they are NOT in love with that person, or that they would only do them harm if they tried, or… Whatever else, for as long as they give up the hope of ever being loved by such an incredible person, knowing that allowing oneself to fall would be a mistake that cannot be reversed…
“So, if you would realize that he really was or would be happier with someone else other than you, would you give him up? If he was really happy with this other girl?”
“Of course not” she’d declare as the sign of her undying love “I cannot give up on MY True Emotion Mirror!”
“Right. But he’s HAPPIER WITH SOMEONE ELSE?”
“He should be with me.”
“Because God made it so?”
“He’s in denial.”
True love is never selfish. There is no point trying to explain it to someone who hasn’t got the first clue about what true love is about. There is only a point to tell those who do know to never settle for anything less, and to not deny yourself from the person who you truly belong to by giving yourself to another, and to keep avoiding such circumstances that would lead someone into the conclusion that you had a future when you know you don’t want to settle for so little…
And for the record… If people are truly in love, it doesn’t matter whether they are 3 years of age or 80. You know love when it hits you, or you never learn to know what it is… If you need to ask someone else whether or not what you have is true love… It isn’t.
The closest thing to a question that involves true love is: “How on Earth did this get so messy and how do I fix this?!” Never: “How do I force him to be with me..?”
And I regret to say the descriptions that I have written of true love are so often mistaken for an instruction manual for what a relationship should look like rather than a description of what it is by a natural reaction to the feelings these people share… How do I explain “you feel like you own him, you feel like you belong to him by everything that is holy” to people who believe figuring someone is quite the marriage material and quite hot to boot, someone who you like a lot and therefore figure should belong to you by the order of a religious law is not the same thing? How would I explain the difference between a True Emotion Mirror runner and simple everyday unrequited love to a person who has nothing but self-interest in mind, while still keeping a True Emotion Mirror reading the same text hopeful? How do I convince other True Emotion Mirrors to stop feeding this madness of people who haven’t got a clue about what they are talking about? How do I stop True Emotion Mirror coaches from telling Polyfracured Flames they have to choose just one simply because their precious theory dictates that?
Rules rules rules.
There are very few rules governing true love that are applicable in all cases. Everyone’s a bit different. But there is one. If you have to “make someone” to something with you, it means either you’re not ready, they’re not ready, or it has nothing to do with true love to begin with.
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*) Term changed after this post was originally written. Fractions of old terms may exist elsewhere in the post. Read about term updates.
**) Narcissists are Young Souls left alone to survive and they're doing their best. Their emotional age ranges from 3 to 17 -year old. The younger, the more severe the narcissism.
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