I need forgiveness for these

I need forgiveness and/or understanding from my True Emotion Mirrors (and other close friends) for these

• I will always twist myself into knots trying to figure out the best way to be, do things, to serve, to be better, to do better, to create better and more. Give me space to be obsessive (and to change things around a million times before I’m happy).
• You’ll also need to let me run with it when I get it right on the first go. I don’t need to try on every item of clothing in the shop to know what I don’t like…
• I won’t be enthusiastic about hanging out with women. Despite that, I love some individuals who happen to be women. You must forgive me for not wanting to meet your mum, break bread with your sister, or go shopping with your daughter, because, well, as amazing as I think you are, your shine might not reach all the way to your family members… Even if we all were women. Please don’t make me pretend to be friends with your family members. Don’t make me meet your mum… Your dad I can deal with, your brothers, too, but the expectations loaded on women to be friends simply based on their gender is just too much for me.
• I’m emotional sometimes. Even sappy. Don’t let that get in the way of your belief that I’m as tough as nails, mate.
• I don’t get along with my mom too well. It’s OK, please don’t try to be a hero about it and fix my relationship with my mum… You don’t have to, I don’t want it… What I want is to forget I have a mum, even if I would, at some stage, get along with her again I want her to not be a mum, but rather just someone who raised me if you know what I mean.
• I have a weird thing about my vanity and need for attention. I’m not always OK with it all. I love it and I don’t know how to take it, to hide it or to flaunt it.
• I’m kind of nostalgic. I love thinking about where I came from, the people I knew, I love talking about everyone I knew, but please don’t confuse it with me wishing I was with them still or that me wanting them more than I want you, I don’t. It’s just where I came from, not where I want to be.
• I sometimes wow people with a lot of attention and excitement to have met them and then want to forget I ever met them. I hate it when people get too comfortable with me too soon – like taking me for a granted friend just because I told them I’d be happy to talk to them again; which is true, just not… Fucking…. Every… Day… And that’s when I might VANISH from their lives, and if this happens to be a friend of yours too, you’ll just have to deal with it, or tell them to cool it or something if you’re stuck in the middle. (Don’t push it with me, will make matters worse.) Please remember I am a little anti-social, even if I do love people… Sometimes.
• I’m judgmental. I judge. I judge. I am on my high horse and I fucking judge people. That’s what I do. Judgment is my middle name. I enjoy judging people and the only thing I regret is that I don’t have a red button that would open the ground up and send some people to hell at my command… Please try not to take that TOO seriously. I usually am easily convinced the person is not all bad.
• I want to be alone sometimes. Those are the moments that I love you from afar.
• I’m difficult to figure out, but not impossible. You’ll figure me out.
• Sometimes I go from hot to cold because someone got one small detail wrong. You’re still my squeeze because you know how to keep me hot all the time.
• I write a lot. Sometimes about you, because you fascinate me. May I, please?
• I got entirely too into the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard dispute. I hate her and I couldn’t let it go for so long half my blog is about Amber fucking Heard. I am ashamed of that, but hell. There it is.
• I fought hard to get into a position where I don’t need to please anyone or to be anything to anyone. Please don’t make me do that anymore with people you care about. I’d rather they didn’t even know about me than for me to be forced to pretend to like them all. I don’t want my love for you to be linked to a whole lot of other people. I just want you, please.

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