The Normal Person* thinking and the Savants* thinking modes are not permanent, rather a reaction to the company present

As you might have noticed when trying to fit the Savants*/the Normal Person* types into practice, there are some fluctuation in how people are sometimes. The Normal Person* thinking mode means that you are ready to make a full commitment to whomever you are with, as a work partner, friend, or a lover. The Savants* thinking mode means you are still looking for your perfect counterparts, or so used to being on the fence (dissatisfied) about people that you take your relationships cautiously rather than throw yourself into the game fully.

The usual the Savants* also have difficulty getting close to people, as they are more used to avoiding attachments to people they are not fully compatible with, and that list is extremely long as their needs are complicated and very precise, so once they do meet someone with whom they are ready to make a full commitment to (an Destination Soulmate) they may not know exactly how to go about it, as their own running instinct is super sensitive, and they feel the same is true for their perfect counterpart. They also know people fall for them really easily, and they hate breaking hearts, which means they keep their distance from people who are hoping for a deeper connection than what they are willing to give to the other person. On the other hand, they may feel really close to other people near them, because they are deeply intuitive people who rarely say anything abrasive or insensitive, and know how to adapt to other people well, but that, to a Savants* still feels shallow and superficial, making them seek for a deeper connection elsewhere – and they should; this is not a problem with a personality or anything such, it is simply the instinctive knowledge that the fish is bigger than the pond so to speak, as in the Savants* needs more from this type of a connection than the present company, even if it is only about work or friends.

When a Savants* attempts to close the gap, they may either model after the Normal Person* ways or they proceed very cautiously – so much so that their target doesn’t know they are one, or perhaps try both approaches; the cautious, respectful style that is characteristic to them, combined with sudden attacks and mayhem that they’ve picked up from normally the Normal Person* thinking people who don’t hold back when they want to get close to someone. As their natural reservedness and cautiousness kicks in, they back off, followed by a full-on approach of some description; hot and cold, hot and cold. This is because they RARELY find people who they truly love and admire and want to get close to, so they simply don’t know how to go about it – unless the counterpart is close the same way but a little bit braver, and someone who is willing to take things that half a step further than the other party to this attempt. This also often means the Savants* wind up settling to someone they don’t really want, but who is close enough to their ideal – in which case they approach boldly and confidently with no issues, take charge of the situation and bring it home – only to leave themselves unfulfilled in the end.

The usual the Savants* MUST learn to be more confident in approaching the people who they are afraid to approach and become much more aware of how their behavior feels to those who want them as much as they want them. They would also benefit from allowing themselves to become adored by a lot of people because that gives the normally the Normal Person* the message that they are NOT lonely but that they simply are very popular, which puts caution into the steps of even the most love-filled of the Normal Person*. My advice to the Savants* is to flood the gates; truly let people see how adorable you are so they will know how hard it is to be one of the lucky ones to actually get near you. An Savant* like this is easily mistaken for the Normal Person* because they are very loving, approachable, and easy to get close to, but they still avoid that final step because they want a lot from their relationships like all the Savants*. What is characteristic to them still, is that one ounce of hesitation from their friends or the person they wish to make their lover sends them on a run, no matter how popular, no matter how self-confident they are otherwise, they are VERY cautious to make demands of love or connection, and are more than easily convinced that they are not wanted nor needed, or that the world would be better off without them, which isn’t true at all, of course.

When the Savants* truly fall in love with someone, another the Savants*, most likely, they, after the careful, slow, and painstaking phase of trying the ice, they too want a very similar continuation to that relationship as the people I’d normally call the Normal Person*. They want to know the other one will be there the following morning until forever, they too want to talk about how to merge their households, how to arrange their everyday lives, what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior to the other partner –  so they know not to do it – and they too want to ensure this relationship holds forever. An Savant* in love is very much like the Normal Person* in love, it’s just that the way they choose the person they want that complete forever -bond with is very different to the way a normal the Normal Person* chooses theirs.

In reality, the whole the Normal Person* and the Savants* -differentiation is a little… inaccurate, as it does fluctuate from a relationship to relationship, and the more accurate way to describe it would be “a common person” vs “an eccentric of some description”. This means that the common folk understand what they want from another person, and cannot understand why any deviation of the norm is necessary, making them prone to think that the eccentrics need lessons in becoming normal and so forth. The same way, the eccentrics feel the normal need lessons in becoming interesting but feel there are some things that simply cannot be taught so they leave the normal people alone easier than the Normal Person* (normies), who feel normal is easy. (Which it is.) The same way as the Normal Person*, the eccentrics have their culture, but their ‘box’ is outside the normal society, they box themselves easier with some subculture, like the rockers, goths, bikers, geeks, etc, a practise that the Normal Person* feel should be a passing phase but to a Savants* is not.

An Savant* is always an outsider until they find their absolute perfect crew of people, after which they form tighter bonds than what normal people are used to seeing. To work this in the normal circumstance, match several the Savants* in the same work groups, and DO NOT try to force the issue of making friends for them or bringing them into a group by force, because that will only make them feel a thousand times worse and not only lonelier but also more locked into a (work) relationship (/friendship etc) that they cannot get away from in order to seek that (work) relationship (/friendship) that would actually fulfill them… Which is a double whammy of misery for them; being forced to stay in a relationship they do not wish while the right people are out there waiting for them.

The Normal Person* in this situation must understand that they are not helping by trying to force lonely people into groups they are not suitable for, but if they DO wish to help, they could casually make eccentric people (who are that way by choice, not because there’s a birth defect of some descreption in them) work together for a small duration of time with no expectation on them to make friends (they’ll make that choice for themselves if they are so inclined, don’t push it, ever, just give them an easy low-pressure environment to  have a talk with someone you think they might  like the company of!) The Savants* love everyone smart and weird, intelligence is a key feature in a person for them all, no matter how obscure, now matter how high on drugs, they prefer the company of an eccentric smart person than someone who has got all the grades and accolades an employer might wish to see. Good signs for even a casual relief of boring company for them is ANY sign of different subculture on either person, dressing in a way that is not usual is a sign of an eccentric mind, but the Normal Person* tend to be poor at judging the meaning of eccentricity, so don’t be surprised if these two people hate each other instead of love each other, they have their reasons. But DO NOT expect them to be cordial with someone with a development problem, that is not what I am suggesting here, quite the opposite, these people tend to be higher in intelligence than others, and to a normal person may seem “dysfunctional” as a result. They would find it amusing if you went and checked with them, whether they are developmentally challenged or just high genius. They don’t mind being regarded weird, but they do hate being forced into ANY company they don’t wish to keep… But giving them a low-pressure chance of making a new eccentric friend would be gold to them, and much appreciated by them all! (Remember this next time you’re organizing weddings with a seating arrangement! If there’s a family drunk or an addict you need to seat next to someone, the Savants* will at least find the company amusing even if they didn’t form a permanent friendship with them. However, in a nuclear family situation this is more difficult, because it is more difficult for the Savants* to stay away from the person should they not wish a further contact with them – as I said, never pressure, never assume they’ll like each other, just that they’ll suffer a lot less during their social obligations if they have someone weird to talk to. They love colorful background stories of obscure lives spent, ANYTHING rather than the same ol’ same ol’ they hear from normal people all the time, this also applies to young and beautiful girl the Savants*, who’d take the company of a drunken old sailor over someone normal and nice of their own gender for the duration of a party.)

(The developmentally challenged; pair them together with someone with a high nursing instinct, NOT with the Savants* who DO NOT have a natural need to nurse or coddle anyone, although they may be guilting themselves to do just that – abusing that guilt is not a good thing.)

There’s some practical stuff the Normal Person* will appreciate, and for the Savants*, just keep searching until you turn the Normal Person* for someone. 🙂

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