For the record, a person never TRULY falls in love with someone who isn’t a natural match to their own desires, at least I don’t believe it to be possible. (Crushes and obsessions that are based on a false idea of who someone is, and some of those people you want simply because you can’t have them or because your best friend has them aside, of course.) I believe our instincts guide us towards the right partners, the PERFECT partners, even if they were in the closet or partially unaware about the kind of lifestyle that they would truly enjoy if they came to think about it. Sometimes these partners are sort of “embarrassing”, you don’t want to love them or want them because they are so wrong on paper, but you simply do. I believe that even in the case of young souls, there is something that these people truly share and have a potential to grow into in time, even if they had no experience of who they are in all practicality, together or separate. This does mean TRUE love, though, and doesn’t apply to situations where you really wish that this person was a little bit more to your liking, or someone who you think is pretty cool but could use a little adjustment here and there to be perfect. No. This is about those people who YOU, YOURSELF would change for should they ask, and who you fear saying the wrong thing to if you said the thing you actually wanted to say. The irony is, that you’d be more than willing to box yourself for these people, but who, in reality, want you as far from that box as they can possibly take you, and who’d break every mold that is trying to confine you.

The kind of people that we are obsessed about and want to change into something different, too, most likely tell about ourselves quite a bit. If you are in denial about something that you are or hate yourself for thoughts that you can’t suffocate, you may feel like it is your duty to suffocate those feelings in others, too; notably, homosexuality by bashing people with the Bible, or being sanctimonious with people who have a lot of casual sex. Jealousy of others also tells a lot about what it is that you wish you “were allowed to do” like the others who are doing it “even though they are not supposed to.”

Within the scope of this post, I’ll point your attention to something that is starting to get a bit more attention in our society, but what is still expressed and pointed out as some kind of an anomaly or “something that the weird people do” even though it is more than common that people who even think themselves to be a monogamist really are not, and the thrive towards monogamy will make them nothing but unlucky in love, and thus miserable and unfulfilled.

Polyandry (FMM+)

More men are polyandrous by their natural alignment than what you could possibly imagine. Contrary to popular belief, the majority of men (even the “nice” men) do love the idea of an easy girl, a whore or a shared girlfriend, they tend to always be attracted to the same girl their friends are attracted to, sometimes by no other merit but the fact his friend is ‘tapping that ass’. (Unfortunately, the polygynous women, that are the female majority, thinks this is revolting and put a lot of pressure on men to curb that natural love of a… slut.) Polyandrous women are, by logic, rarer to find, because for each whore, the mathematical equation needs a mass of men to work, right? The Polyandrous women love the attention they receive, and they LOVE (should they be OK with their natural alignment) to be leered at, and they feel empowered by sexual attention from men rather than feel disrespected by it. Yet, they’d easily punch a girl in the nose should she make passes at her.

The naturally polyandrous men who are denying this tendency are likely to feel guilty about their ‘illicit’ thoughts about women, particularly the one that they truly love, because their love is always mixed with a desire to share her with other men, or to punish her for “being a whore”, even if he had no actual proof of her being such. He is also likely to be afraid of being cheated on and has this constant fear of “there always being another man in the closet” as he instinctively chooses women who love men as much as he loves her loving… cock.

The polyandrous men can turn bitterly jealous over their girlfriends or wives, as they fight their own imagination that always takes them to the place where she’s fucking other men, and they may not be certain where these feelings come from, or how to react to them. As society regards “being a whore” more or less the worst thing a woman can be, the men hate themselves for wanting to objectify women like this, and the woman they ADORE feels the need to hide their own desires from men, under the belief that whores or sluts will never be truly loved.

A polyandrous man finds it relatively easy to be monogamous once they find a girl they actually like and respect, but if they cannot respect their girlfriend, as polyandrous androphile men may find very difficult to do (sort of a cognitive process, more an action than a real feeling of respect,) they may cheat on her without a second thought. As the polyandrous men always feel their relationships with women tend to be a little strained and difficult, their expectations on love is super low, therefore they make a commitment to stay with a woman under the assumption that “marriage sucks but it is what I will have to endure as a man”, unless they’ve got a Mature State True Emotion Mirror that they instinctively search for, in which case they may be secretly quite romantic (but as such, easily disappointed by women who do not measure up to the woman they truly love and are soul-bound to).

Polyandrous men feel the need to have their girlfriend “approved” by their male friends or their father or both. (Even when their friends weren’t polyandrous, but they simply wish they were.) Subconsciously, they are looking for a shared girlfriend, so it is important to them their friends want the same girl as he does. The polyandrous women wouldn’t even think of asking their (girl) friends’ blessing, but they may be very conscious about what kind of men they allow the sexy guys see them with… again, they are looking for men who wish to share her, so it is important her men find each other if not attractive, then at least cool or respectable, like the kind of guy who doesn’t bring his girl’s value down.

Check out why polyandrous men cheat.

Polygyny (MFF+)

Polygyny can be interpreted often through polyandry as well, and vice versa, but there are some parts that are quite typical to a polygynist more so than for a polyandrist. One of the most defining traits of a polygynous woman is that she tends to raise her children with her best girl pals that they are not in a romantic relationship with, but with whom they make all the important parenting decisions leaving the fathers quite out of the picture. They are quite naturally suspicious of all men, they don’t really know what to think of them or how to trust them, therefore they tend to feel like they have to rally together to defend themselves against men, and to show a unified front against men – even their own husband.

Polygynist women are also magnets for cheaters and players, who they love instinctively like nothing else. They ADORE this man, they love everything about him, only to be cheated on in no time – and too often with her best friend. Should they allow to feel it, they would quickly notice they love the feeling of being cheated on, particularly if the guy comes back to them, and some polygynist women cannot stay in love with a man who doesn’t cheat on them – they would feel this man isn’t even worthy of their love if other women wouldn’t want him. In a monogamous society, they prefer a man other women hit on but will white knuckle their way from not sleeping with, because that gives them the rush of being the best girl this guy knows. Polygynist women who are in a polygynist relationship will love the competition with their sister-wives, IF they allow themselves to feel competitive rather than thriving for that polyamorist ideal of “no jealousy”.

Again, as mathematical equations require, the majority of women are polygynous, while it is relatively rare to find a polygynous man. Given how much the polygynous man gets around though, they give all men a bad name as the polygynous women talk about their experiences with the cheating men… And the polyandrous women, who rarely get cheated on (when a normal guy gets his hands on a rare find of a polyandrous woman, he’s not going to take any risks losing her), cannot really contradict their idea of men and their habit of cheating, because they don’t get cheated on nearly as often, quite the opposite, they’re more likely the cheater than the cheatee, giving the polyandrous men the idea that all women cheat…

Also, the polygynous women seek for their girlfriends’ approval of their boyfriends. After all, subconsciously they are looking to share their male partner with their girlfriends, so it makes logical sense that they want to find one that their girlfriend(s) love(s), too. The polygynous men are more worried about what women think about their women than what their male friends think of them, after all, his girlfriends need to like each other in the end…

Check out why polygynous women cheat

polygamyORpolygynandry¹ (FF+MM+)

The naturally polygamousORpolygynandrous people are, of all the natural non-monogamists, the most suited for both monogamy and polyamory. They are truly the “no jealousy” polyamorists and they are the “okay let’s just agree on the dance partners and stick to them for the rest of our lives” type of people… They’re swingers and sharers because it makes logical sense to them both that if you go around, I go around. Both polyandrist men and polygynist women find it difficult to adapt to polyamorous ideals, because even if they would agree that adding another partner into the relationship is cool, they cannot quite wrap their mind around the idea of adding both a male and a female – or several of both, into the mix, and they may feel unadventurous or “anti-feminist” or “not really embracing polyamory” if they would rather stick to one additional gender… Unlike the naturally polygamousORpolygynandrous who simply think the more the merrier, regardless of the gender.

The naturally polygamousORpolygynandrous are in a lucky situation in a sense because they do not really suffer in a monogamous society, they simply change partners quite without pain or suffering, because they fully believe there is going to be another out there for them both. They don’t really believe in monogamy, either, and whenever they are in a relationship with another polygamistORpolygynandrist, they may change partners quite in a “well, enough about us, let’s go see what else is there, cheers” attitude. They may also return back together without a major drama, as nobody got insulted by the idea that they weren’t each other’s only love.

To someone polygamousORpolygynandrous, their friends’ opinion on their sex partners matters a lot. They want everyone’s opinion, the men and the women, because… Subconsciously they are looking for shared partners with the people they love the most. They are always super social, because subconsciously all social meetings may lead to awesome sex, much more so than in the gender-preferring people, who wish to eliminate the unwanted gender from their social outings in order to be happy. (Polyandrous men prefer hanging out with men, with the hopes that a hot chick would walk in on them, the polygynous prefer female company, and the polygamousORpolygynandrous think geesh, the more of both, the higher the chances of an orgy…)

The polygamousORpolygynandrous are highly social, and cannot understand the somewhat reserved nature of the other natural poly-people, who are always a little uncomfortable around their non-preferred gender. They are also much more likely to be open swingers because they do not mind having people of both genders around like the other non-monogamists do. Should they give themselves the permission, they should always be looking for a chance to get naked with their friends of both genders… Because that’s how they should roll.

With a spice of polyamorous tones

All relationship types can have a ‘spice’ setting of polyamory, even the more or less monogamous relationships, in which there’s one primary pair who still “swing”. Complete groups of polygynous, polygamousORpolygynandrous, and polyandrous partners can “swing”, but is more than common between polyamorous couples. What all of this means is that you and your True Emotion Mirror(s) simply have to figure out how you like things to be. Your True Emotion Mirror always agrees on your ideals because they think the exact same way as you… (Or are not a True Emotion Mirror.)

Polyamorous ideas can also add interesting power dynamics into the polygamistORpolygynandrist play; when everyone sleeps with everyone, polyamory mixes things up a bit, when there are ownership-types of dynamics in place, that pure polygamistORpolygynandrists do not sign up for.

Each individual, regardless of one’s bend, should give all of this a little thought and try and ponder through a few alternatives. Imagine different ages, life situations, different friends and different lovers and see if you can mix and match them into a perfect blend of hotness…

1. Depending on context. Some time ago, I used the term polygamy to mean either the generic concept of polygamous marriage or a MM+FF+ -type marriage or poly-committed relationship. ↩

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