Why the Savants* children hate their the Normal Person* parent(s)

The Normal Person* believe their job as a parent is to guide and  nurture and raise their children. They believe in giving them structure and rules, limitations, and a route to follow.

the Savants*, despite their  upbringing, as a natural alignment that the Normal Person*, no matter how much they hate this idea, cannot influence or alter, want a parent to support their natural character, their inborn character traits and talents, and love them for their unique personality that, to a Savants* is what they want to be loved for, not despite of it like the Normal Person* love.

The Savants* want to know that their parent does not only approve and tolerate them, but feel pride for them, for having them, because of the way they are, not for what they have achieved or how much they obey their parents. The Savants* wish that they can tell their parents what they, themselves are like: “Hi, I am X, your daughter/son, and I like this, I love doing that, I wish to grow  up to be…” and for their parents to agree: “I know you are, I know you do, I love what you tell me about yourself. I wish to help you realize YOUR dreams.” This, to the Normal Person* parent would feel neglectful. They’d feel they allow their child to grow willy nilly. They would feel incompetent and unloving if they allowed their child to be whatever they want, but want to push them into a certain direction… The Normal Person* would call it “guidance” but the Savants* feels it as “pushing”. To a Savants*, it is emotional violence, to the Normal Person*, a sign that they’re loved.

A Normal Person* parent always wants to include their child into the family and to make them feel approved of, loved, cared for, protected, and LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. An Savant*, however, always wants to feel admired, trusted, and like an individual, DIFFERENT from others, free to make their own life decisions as they see fit. A Normal Person* parent wants to hide and guise the differences of their child and emphasize the similarities, which makes the Savants* child feel like their parent is ashamed of them, wants to change them into something they are not, and want to control who they are and are growing into. The Normal Person* parent doesn’t understand what other purpose a parent has if not to be the controller, the guide, the rock for the child to stand on, but the Savants* feels the Normal Person* parent is more like the rock that is crushing them than the rock they can stand on.

The Normal Person* parent cannot help themselves but to look for a personality disorder or other mental disorder from their the Savants* child who they fear is completely screwed up in some way that they can’t quite explain, and blame themselves for it. The more the Normal Person* tries to help the Savants* to live a normal life that the Normal Person* parent feels is the loving thing to do, the more the Savants* feels unloved and unappreciated and forced to become something they are not nor do they want to be. The Normal Person* parent erroneously feels that the Savants* doesn’t trust themselves and tries to encourage them “to try”, which, the Savants* child sometimes agrees to just to be a good kid, and to do as his or her parents ask of them, sometimes driving them to suicide as this  is not the life they wanted for themselves but were forced to accept by their the Normal Person* parent. The Normal Person* parent, however, who has always felt their child is incompetent, would fear that they expected too much of their child, which caused this, while, in reality, the Savants* felt undervalued and under-appreciated and like they were wasting their talent and true potential just to please their parent.

The Normal Person* believe that the Savants* child’s elaborate life plans are there just to gain attention from their parents, like a call for help: “OMG I don’t know what to do with my life so I want to be in the band, mum, dad, please intervene and tell me what I should actually be doing with my life!” The Normal Person* parent doesn’t believe their child of any age should have the maturity or insight or self-knowledge to make that kind of decisions. That is not to say they wouldn’t, themselves, tell the child to be in a band if they see they have the skillset for it, but they don’t understand the kind of decision-making process that doesn’t involve mom and dad that are still alive.

A further complication to this relationship is the Normal Person* constant need to reel the child back into the nest and to be involved in all aspects of their lives – everything that the Savants* has given their parent an access to as a child, the parent thinks they have no need to stay out of in the future, either. They don’t think it would be inappropriate for a parent to be asking about the sex life of their grown, married child should they feel the need to ask, while the Savants* child is often mature enough to offer their parents some information about their sex life while growing up, but expect the parents to butt out of it when they reach a mature age and no longer need guidance in that are or any other area of their lives. The Savants* feels the parent has done their job when they are living an independent, individually designed life, doing what they love doing, and that is when they feel happy about their parent’s job. The Normal Person* thinks a parent’s job is done once the child leads a normal, regular life, whatever it is that the Normal Person* parent considers normal and regular. The curiosity here is that whatever the Normal Person* has grown up to feel is ordinary, they expect their children to feel is ordinary, too, and to follow suit. They consider themselves open-minded, if they feel their child is free to choose any job or lifestyle their parent’s friends or their normal family member has chosen. They feel terrified about the prospect of their child choosing a line of work that nobody the parent personally knows works at. To them, that is simply unthinkable.

As the Savants* thrives for self-actualization, the Normal Person* drives them for normalcy. The Normal Person* parent feels without them the child will be derailed, while the Savants* feels the parent is continually trying to derail them.

The Normal Person* parent, toa a Savants* child, also feels insuffably nosy, or possibly not nosy enough. The Normal Person* tends to avoid all the topics that the Savants* wants to discuss; feelings, emotions, their love relationships (up to the level they are comfortable sharing, with the expectation that the parent respects their privacy), while the Normal Person* wants to know about their practical lives; school schedules, topics, whether they’ve got a job and the like, stuff that the Savants* feels is simple controlling their lives and attempting to, again, push them into that mould they hate and their parent seems to be insisting on. The Savants* feels their emotions and life experience goes completely ignored and neglected by their parent, their emotional needs are systematically not met by their parent, while the parent is involving themselves into matters the Savants* considers to be none of their business at all.

Any attempt the Savants* makes to discuss their feelings ABOUT ANYTHING, the Normal Person* takes as an assault of some description or an accusation of their incompetence as a parent. The Normal Person* only ever discuss feelings when things are desperately bad, and therefore the attempt from the Savants* to have a deep and meaningful conversation with their parent, to the parent feels like the child is about to kill them with a speer and then bury them in the background with a headstone reading “the worst parent ever”. Sadly, their reluctance and refusal to ever connect to their child emotionally is exactly where they are chasing their child, and depending on the child and the severity of these problems, the child may permanently leave home without a warning or return. Controversially, this is a relief to the parent, who feels for as long as the child is hanging about, they need something more from the parent (incompetent adult) whereas the child would feel the ultimate insult and betrayal of someone is to COMPLETELY severe the ties to that person… Continually “telling” the parent that they need them to decide on their behalf how they should live their lives, and that they are not happy living their lives the way they are. If the child returns home “for no reason”, to see their parents like the Savants* feel is natural, the parent thinks they are there for life advice (or money or both). (The Savants* is there to spend time with their parent, to have a talk, and to share the latest news… Or they feel that should be their obligation at least.)

The Normal Person* are animal-thinkers. They don’t ask after their offspring once they fly out of the nest. An Savant*, although let’s go easier, they tend not to give up on relationships completely. They will ALWAYS return home to their parents and enjoy that relationship even though they lead a separate life to their parent. The Normal Person* only have two modes: Complete separation or complete unity. Nothing else makes sense to them on an emotional level, and they feel the parental role is to be there for their incompetent children even when they are trying to pretend to know what they’re doing… Which is essentially everything that the Savants* naturally do.

the Savants* children and the Normal Person* parents almost always have issues with money, too. The Savants* are usually TERRIBLE with money, but they are also very proud and they would rather hack off their arm than ask for their parents for financial support. They are more likely to return back home to live for a few months than to ask for money, even if that was the last thing they wanted to do, but because to a Savants* emotions and relationships are ALWAYS more important than money they feel that their presence at home is more welcome than them asking for money – which to them is a sign of not loving their parents but using them for money. The Normal Person* see this differently, they would feel that the child imposing themselves into their lives is unacceptable and presumptuous, but everyone falls financially every once and again, and family funds are, to the Normal Person*, shared, always, therefore they have NO ISSUES sharing their wealth with their kids, but the Savants* have nothing but issues with that, particularly if they don’t feel that emotional closeness with their parents. They feel awful about accepting money from a person they feel they are arguing with, or even don’t see eye-to-eye with even if they were their parents. They always attempt to solve the emotional issues first before even considering asking for financial support, therefore they’ll rather return home and try to fix things, but they would still never ask for financial support until the relationship is on a solid ground. (Still they may feel good about knowing their parents will be there if they mess up their finances to a point of homelessness, which is never too far from reality when it comes to the Savants* to their absolute disappointment with themselves.)

The Savants* always feel the need to take care of themselves in every way. That is their primary mode of function. The trouble arises, when the Savants* do not ask their parents involvement in their professional and financial lives. This causes a spiritual link that is truly tough for the Savants* to break; the parents are emotionally holding them back – literally – from approaching ANY choice they’re attempting to make without the approval of the parent. This makes the child feel like they are working a thousand times harder than others to achieve the same goal, and the less the parent understands what they are trying to do, the harder it is for the Savants* to get ahead in life because of the influence of the parent’s blocking their law of attraction.

As the Savants* child wants to be independent financially, they are more than receptible to the parent’s suggestions of jobs and professions they don’t want to accept, and they need a very strong conviction to their life choice to fight the parent’s attempts to make their lives easier by suggesting “suitable jobs” for them. They are ALWAYS ashamed of their own financial situation – not for what it looks like, but for being a burden, something that to a Savants* is an absolute unforgivable thing to be to anyone. They will never accept any kind of monetary assistance they don’t ABSOLUTELY need in order to keep doing what they do, especially if they are in ANY DOUBT about how their parents feel about them. Before money exchanges hands, they must be either in the brink of an absolute financial disaster, or VERY TRUSTING their parents love them and appreciates them for Who They Are as personalities, and that their parents accept and approve of their life choices, which the Normal Person* rarely do due to the Savants*’s likely obscure personality and need for drama, danger, and excitement, that, in turn, causes them to take more financial risks than any the Normal Person* does, particularly in the form of skimping through life in order to work on something they regard important but something that rarely offers a ready income – often in creative arts or new areas in business.

The Normal Person* parents would do wisely to send money to their the Savants* idiot of a child without being asked to, and with as little fuss as possible, as if money grew in trees for the parent. The Savants* are never jealous of money, even though they regard their parent’s financesseparate to their own, they take a gift as a sign of devotion and love, but it must be as low-key as possible, whereas the Normal Person* sometimes  make a HUGE FUSS over the gifts, to point out how much we love you. They make a fuss about the gifts to say: “In case you haven’t noticed, we love you THIS MUCH, look, gift, it’s there to say we love you”, but to a Savants* this gesture reads: “You owe us, kid. This is how much we’ve helped you, you better shape up before we’re bankcrupt because of you.”

An example of my own mother-relationship… I was telling to my mother how I felt she didn’t love me. I meant this as information: “I know you don’t love me, it’s not your fault, I’m not the best kid ever, and I know it is impossible for you to love someone like me, and that’s fine…” but what she replied floored me… as her replies usually do: “Well, I might want to point out that we have ALWAYS loved you more than your brother!” For a few moments I felt gutted. What kind of a monster of a woman would ever, in any situation, admit to loving one of her children over the other! Even if I was the beneficiary here, I thought “what an AWFUL thing to say!” It took me some time to translate that back from the Normal Person* thinking to the Savants* thinking: “We have always supported you financially more than your brother.” That I can accept in the context, because it is true, but to associate love with giving financial help is, to a Savants*, replacing the EXPENSIVE (emotions) with the CHEAP (money). As I said, to a Savants*, if the emotions are not real, even between parents, the money should not exchange hands, but the Normal Person* may throw in money to give the relationship time to heal; They feel that the bond exists and is permanent, and money is just money, and they will fix the relationship later but physical is physical and doesn’t wait; there will be no relationship to fix if the kid’s starved to death. (Which is true, of course, but a Savants* would rather starve proud than be somebody’s feeding cow, the lowest of the low.)

There’s still the conflict of important matters that the Normal Person* and the Savants* find difficult to understand. The Savants* doesn’t care about material good, as long as they can support themselves financially to a level of not needing to take help just to survive. However, they sometimes feel so strongly about what they want to do in life, that they will HURRY TO MAKE IT, and get nowhere fast. They are much more likely to take governmental support to finance their lives while working on something important (as I am doing) than the Normal Person* are. (Previous generation the Savants* would have taken a small allowance from their family should they be in the position, or work at a menial job while working on whatever they feel is important.) The Normal Person* thinking parents are always worried about what other people think of their child, though, and they try to encourage them to take a better job that is more in alignment with their talent and their social status and age. The Savants*, again, feels misunderstood, unappreciated, and being a shame to the family, because, as I said, to them it is important to take care of themselves, but also to make a success out of themselves and to make a difference in the world. When they fail these goals, they also feel they have failed their parents, and feel ashamed for that reason. When the Normal Person* parent encourages them to take a job, the Savants* feel this is criticism and the parents inability to live with the shame of their the Savants* child who is an all-around failure at everything they do.

Added to the trouble, the Savants* are highly intuitive, but not very goal-oriented. When the parents ask them what it is that they want to achieve, (should they be open-minded enough to enquire) the Savants* child would not necessarily have the foggiest clue on how to answer that question, they have some idea, they have emotions they follow, but they wouldn’t necessarily have a real, tangible goal in mind. If they have a goal, it’s often so ridiculously big that they wouldn’t confess that to a living soul because they’d fear others will consider them insane and in need of a padded room rather than support. The Normal Person* appreciate tried and tested plans, something that they know will work with applied effort and dedication without failure, but the Savants* find this mind-numbing. Why would ANYONE want to do something that has already been done? It’s been done! No need to repeat it, people, they think and venture off to a new adventure, not knowing at all where they are going. They don’t fear poverty or trouble, but they fear mundanity, certainty, repetition, and routine like it was poison – and to them it is – it literally kills them slowly until they make a move and do something they feel is exciting, like starting their own business. The Normal Person* parent would feel “don’t fix it if it ain’t broken” but a Savants* would think: “OK, I’ve got a good career going, I’ve got the savings, NOW I can try and make a break for it!” They would take a good, high-paying job and save up money to start a high-risk, low-income business just to keep themselves entertained, completely driving their the Normal Person* parents on the walls as a result.

Female the Savants* (who are rarer than male the Savants*) are more likely to NOT get a job at all but to keep working towards their own independent source of income. This is because they don’t feel they need to “afford a family” like men do, also, reincarnationally, women haven’t got experience in working as much as men do, so it feels more natural for a man to take a job only to kick it to the curb when he feels like it, whereas women would feel trapped with a high-paying job that, especially if they have the Normal Person* thinking parent, they would know that the Normal Person* parent wouldn’t approve her plan of quitting a good job in order to pursue a foolish dream – especially if she has children. The Savants* women have a higher chance of actually making it in the area they thrive towards by skimping on their lives basics and never accepting alternative life plans (for long). The Savants* female’s dreams often come to a halt when they have their first child, and it is relatively common for a Savants* woman to choose to remain childfree because of it, especially if they haven’t reached their goal by 30 or 35.

The female the Savants* NEVER(?) sees having a family as their ultimate personal goal and fulfillment as a woman let alone a person. A family is a side project that happens once everything else in her life is in place. She believes family is created into a full life; a child deserves happy parents and a loving home, and she won’t have children when she’s in an unstable situation unless she has an accident and abortion is illegal… Which would be a situation in which she’ll consider suicide rather than welcome the child without cursing it first. The Savants* thinking women are career women, and should they be allowed to function naturally, they would create a working life that the child fits into, rather than give or compromise the career for a child (unless that is their absolute only choice). An Savant* thinking mother who had to give up their dreams for a child usually grows bitter and resentful of their child, so NEVER try to pressure a Savants* woman into having children, it is irresponsible towards both the mother and the child. That is something the Normal Person* parents also need to understand; particularly in the case of a Savants* female, a child won’t make them happy. A child also won’t make a Savants* male happy, but children have a less negative effect on a Savants* thinking male’s life than a female’s. They will only ever thrive as parents when they have married their True Emotion Mirror, they have their lives completely the way they want it, living their dream and THEN they will welcome a child or a dozen into the mix, but NEVER the other way around.

The Savants* are often philosophers and innovators, dreamers, artists, and thrill-seekers. They do not conform well into a normal life, they never have and they never will. They need to make their own lives the way they want it, and for the Normal Person* parent, this is terrifying. The Savants* need to be more aware of this than the Normal Person*, after all, the Savants* are natural psychologists who simply want to understand other people are more able to adapt their communication in a way that the Normal Person* will be able to grasp some of it, and to navigate the relationship issues between the Normal Person* parent(s) and themselves.

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