Something the Savants* might have a blind spot on in their relationships… (RARE!)

What the Savants* and the Normal Person* are looking for in a relationship is very different, but what the Savants* have often given up on is the “childishness” of this wish of theirs, and they keep ignoring it thinking “it shouldn’t matter” because it doesn’t matter to the Normal Person*, and it maybe difficult for them to even point that out… Namely.

HOBBIES!!

the Savants* are intellectuals and curious, passionate people who tend to LOSE themselves into a hobby or an interest or a past time that to them is more important than anything else. They work to finance their obsession and obsess to find a way to finance their obsession through that obsession. Yet… They don’t really look for partners who would understand that obsession or those who’d support it or even share it.

An Savant* thinking dating profile usually ignores all of it, while the Normal Person* lists a bunch of FAKE hobbies and interests that serve no purpose but to make them appear more “involved” and “clued-in”. An Savant* feels they are childish loving what they love, the Normal Person* thinks (knows) they are boring without a hobby or an interest.

This, for me, goes into the category of “oh crap. I’m not a monogamist but a polyandrist.” and “Oh man, normal women want it too”. 😀 Something that I was aware of at 17 or so… I remember having a very powerful thought: “He HAS TO be into rock or it won’t work!” At the same time, meeting my first obvious True Emotion Mirror changed my mind on that, because he seems to be completely oblivious to it and yet completely clued in on what I am and what makes me tick so…

An Savant* EXPANDS. We teach each other the finer points of whatever we’re into. As long as you’re not dead against something, and you have a good healthy base appreciation for somethinging and curiosity towards it, it should be all good. But only the Savants* tend to be able to go deep into a hobby in a way that they can really learn to love the whole thing and to understand the nuances and finer details of it fully. A Normal Person* often fakes interest for a while before declaring the whole thing is stupid and childish and they should now focus on a grown-up relationship without the Yankees or the Red Socks getting involved.

A Normal Person* uses hobbies as something to bargain with: “look I gave up my pottery classes to spend more time with you… You cannot give up one game for me?!” And the Savants*’s heart sinks… It’s time to give up all fun and the things he/she loves on the altar of “growing up” and to be boring and responsible… And they give up half of their identity just to please a new partner… But they’ll never get over the heartache of being forced into being something that they are not and to give up something they love for something that didn’t need to get in the way at all.

So… I’m digging my Barbies out of the closet, along with my Collingwood footy club flag and my heavy rock memorabilia, and I’ll be back in the swing of things.

(And yes. An Savant* thinking guy CAN appreciate Barbie and a girl’s love for a doll, if not get right into it himself.)

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