The Importance of a Consent to Remain in a Relationship

The Two Types:

1. Commitment Driven approach: “We’ll make a commitment first, THEN we’ll fall in love.”
2. Instinct-Driven approach: “We’ll fall in love first, then we see how deeply we are in love, and after that, we agree we want to stay together forever.”

The second type is also difficult, because they can fall in love at the first sight but NOT make a commitment, they simply feel they are tied together forever, whether they are in an actual relationship together or not, and this, again, is confusing to the commitment driven people, who do not understand love that is based on a feeling rather than action and a visible relationship. (Mature/Growing State True Emotion Mirrors .)

When the commitment driven individual wants a relationship with a compatibility driven person, the latter is going to feel rather reluctant to go into it. They don’t want to give themselves to a person who they are not CERTAIN they will love for the rest of their lives, but the commitment driven person might not understand why they hesitate, considers them “immature”, “commitment phobic”, or “bad with relationships”. None of those labels are right.

The Commitment Driven people NEED TO understand that they cannot give a commitment to themselves on behalf of someone else based on their own wants, needs, or ideals. They cannot make assumptions about another person’s level of commitment to them on their behalf, either. They need to understand that the compatibility driven people are perfectly capable of falling in love, they are truly passionate and romantic people, they simply aren’t fascinated enough by you to make a lifelong commitment, and they have a full permission to say no, even if they were male and in their 30’s.

This is predominately a man’s problem: women override their right to decide for themselves whether they should or should not be in a relationship with someone, men usually don’t get to make these decisions on behalf of a woman anymore, and the same obvious fact needs to be made blatantly clear to women, too: You NEED a man to agree to a relationship with you, WITHOUT pressure or coercion, or forceful tactics, guilting or belittling him if he seems reluctant to make a commitment.

By this point, the Commitment Driven people (women) are feeling frustrated and irritated and they simply want a simple answer to their problem.

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