Why do people hate you

This is a lot to do with self-confidence, self-esteem, self-love, level/type of intelligence, and complexities of the personality, so there is a sense of scale here, rather than an on-off button. Mainly the Normal Person* or mainly the Savants* is an option. The more complicated and unusual a person is, the more they go towards the Savants* thinking spectrum. An Savant* would never consider themselves “common”, “ordinary” or “easy to please”, even though they’d describe themselves as “Easy going”, “accepting”, and “easy to get along with”, and they are.

Defining Success

The Normal Person* would call themselves successful for having a steady job. Their idea of a good friend is someone to go shopping with, and who will show them how to shop right. (That is not a key phrase for the search engines, sadly.) While they might not want to call themselves “ordinary” or “common” either, that is certainly how the Savants* view them. As the Normal Person* themselves are always trying to fit into the current fashionable or generally accepted ideal of “acting/dressing their age”, which, to the Savants* mean a conscious effort to be common and boring. The Normal Person*, however, get excited about “fashionable people”, as “trendy” is the most interesting a person can be… Or brainwashed, cowardly, fake, as the Savants* would call them.

Interestingly enough, the people who fit the standard, the “successful” the Normal Person* have a hard time swallowing the idea that someone might not like them. They view all not liking them as a form of jealousy, because “they don’t know how to be popular/successful.” Countless of Hollywood movies have been filmed about the mutual hatred between these subcultures, and the Normal Person* unshakable belief everyone is envious of them. They interpret all expressions of anger or aggression towards them as jealousy or envy or frustration at one’s own inability to be like the popular people.

the Savants* thinking commitment phobics

If the Savants* are commitment phobics, the Normal Person* are rejection junkies.

The Savants* are difficult to pin into a relationship they don’t want, and they are wanted more often than the Normal Person* who are simply more generic type. As the Normal Person* thrive to be like a given standard, they want to be regarded “good enough” by that standard, and they try to blend in with the other adults a lot, where as the Savants* wish to stand out. This causes the obvious conclusion that the Savants* gain more attention than the Normal Person* that try their hardest to avoid attention. Therefore the Savants* are more wanted and are more used to rejecting people than the Normal Person* are, who are happy about anyone wanting to make friends with them or about anyone showing romantic interest towards them as it is a rarer occurrence for them.

The Normal Person* do not understand, however, how the Savants* gain all that love and admiration towards themselves while not following any of the rules. It makes no sense to the Normal Person* to show love and respect for someone who behaves off key, and they tend to explain it away as “simple sexual attraction” which is a factor, yes, but not nearly enough to explain the Savants*’s charisma.

Ironically, the Normal Person* wind up chasing the Savants* into a relationship, because to them, anyone who is not a standard person of some description is a sub par individual and as such, they SHOULD NOT reject someone who is “the right way”. They chase the Savants* until he or she gives in, or until the Savants* has completely destroyed the Normal Person* self-confidence doing nothing but what they HAD to do; reject a person they didn’t love.

Acutely in need of finding someone they can respect

While the Normal Person* are acutely trying to find someone who would approve of / love them, the Savants* have an acute need to find someone they could respect and love. The word respect means a different thing to these thinker types, to the Normal Person*, respect means more or less the right to say no to sexual advances, where as for a Savants*, respect means the joy they feel when they observe another person’s skill level, knowledge, and achievements. When they say they need respect, they mean they want to find someone who views them as their equal skill-wise, and just as importantly, they want to find someone THEY feel admiration towards.

The Normal Person* simply want to find (or force, or teach) someone to love them. To the Normal Person*, love is an action, not a feeling, therefore they believe love can be taught. The Normal Person* are happy to be treated in a certain way, rather than having someone FEEL things for them. They will imagine the feelings on the basis of the way they are treated, as they are not very intuitive. They read things into how people treat them, where as the Savants* do not care about how well they are treated on the surface, but how people feel for them. They don’t fall for gifts or charity that is given out of contempt or with an ill will, but the Normal Person* will think nothing of the actual feeling and simply accept the gift as if it was a sign of love or care for real.

The Normal Person* are prone to believing ANY strong feeling as a feeling of love

While the Savants* are skilled and precise in their detection of different emotions and nuances between them, the Normal Person* are very coarse in this area. They may interpret ANY strong feeling as love or fear, their ability to identify feelings accurately is still developing on the incarnational cycle. In some sense, they will interpret any strong feeling any which way they see fit, driving the Savants* absolutely crazy – and not in the good way.

“You can do anything to me if we’re in love”

Both types of thinkers may well feel this way. The problem is, that the Normal Person* are very often quick to believe the Savants* are in love with them even when they are not. They often jump the gun. The Savants* also have a naturally similar idea of what is OK and what isn’t, as they match their own value system with those they love on a high level. The Normal Person* view relationships as something reckless: “I will show you how much I dare to hurt you, so you’ll know how cool I am!!!” This maybe because the Savants* they often chase for a relationship feel mean to them, so they believe this is a part of a courting ritual. The Savants* think differently: “I will show you how well I scale between what you love and what you would never tolerate. I will always respect your boundaries, even if you put yourself into my hands.” The Savants*’s goal, with their lover, is to bring them to the cross section of pleasure and pain, but with the Normal Person*, they will overstep those boundaries over and over, in their bid to tell them they do not love that person and to chase them away.

The Savants* think differently: “I will show you how well I scale between what you love and what you would never tolerate. I will always respect your boundaries, even if you put yourself into my hands.” The Savants*’s goal, with their lover, is to bring them to the cross section of pleasure and pain, but with the Normal Person*, they will overstep those boundaries over and over, in their bid to tell them they do not love that person and to chase them away.

The Savants* want to know where the boundaries are so they will never accidentally cross them, where as the Normal Person* want to know where the boundaries are so they can disrespect them and walk all over them. Therefore, it is really difficult for the Normal Person* to tell the difference between their sworn enemy and their best friend, something that to a Savants* is a no-brainer.

It could be said that the Savants* lack a sense of humor when it comes to the way they are being treated, but the Normal Person* lack a sense of humor about the way they should live their lives. The Normal Person* want to fit in and be proper on the surface, where as the Savants* want to live an obscure life right out in the open. The only reason a Savants* hide is when they think others would attack them if they knew more about them and being disapproved of would be an inconvenience for them. To the Normal Person*, being found out as improper is the biggest fear they’ve got, even if they did awful things behind the closed doors.

Social and anti social

The Normal Person* are a lot more social than the Savants*. They are much more likely to find people they like and love because their standards are significantly lower than the Savants*’. Therefore, everywhere they go, they find wonderful people out there, and their biggest sorrow is the Savants* who don’t like them and who the Normal Person* think are flawed or mentally disturbed for not liking them. They cannot understand what’s there not to like, considering how well they fit the societal expectations and the latest trends – the very reason the Savants* think they are boring, sheep-people who simply mindlessly go with the flock wherever the flock takes them.

The Savants* are used to being polite and allowing the Normal Person* to think they are OK. This causes confusion, as the Normal Person* already believe everyone loves them and if they don’t, there’s something wrong with them! They fully believe that they have everything anyone should consider worth loving. The only reason the Normal Person* thinks a someone doesn’t conform to the societal ideal or the latest fashion is that they don’t know how to. They have no concept of the kind of thinking that would explain the need to stand out and to express DIFFERENCE rather than the ability to be fashionable, up to date, law-abiding, and a respectable tax-payer; the right kind.

Hating people

The Savants* don’t hate people for being different, but they hate people for trying to force others into the same mode of behavior as they are. The Normal Person* sees it as “trying to help you”. The Savants* also hate the Normal Person* for thinking they are better than others while doing nothing original, ever. The Savants* hate the Normal Person* for this self-congratulating viewpoint.

The Normal Person* hate the Savants* for refusing their generous help to conform and to be better than what they are now. They see all variation from the median a lack of intelligence, whereas the Savants* see the failure to stand out as a lack of imagination, lack of creativity, and a sign of cowardliness and, also, stupidity. To them, an intelligent person cannot possibly be solely interested in such mundane and meaningless things as how to dress or what is fashionable and trendy. A respectable person’s interests MUST BE more varied than that, even if those things were included. The Normal Person* see the things the Savants* value as “being focussed on the irrelevant” and “being distracted”.

The Normal Person*’s feelings for the Savants* are very much about needing their approval and being continually rejected. The Savants* should not think they owe love to someone they don’t love, even though that is the play most the Normal Person* put on if they cannot get who they want.

Generally speaking

Both thinker types think the other thinker type is boring, serious, and easily lead. Both think the other type lack self-confidence. Both think the other type is abusive. Both think the other type is childish and immature.

In all psychology, you should look at the values that the scientist behind a theory or the doctor behind a text is upholding. Conformity or freedom. You can judge all psychological and self-improvement text in the context of what are they after, making everyone the same (the Normal Person*) or emphasizing a person’s unique self, as in liberating people (the Savants*). Both types try to force the other type into their own way of thinking. Both think the other type is manipulative: “They say they’re going to leave us if we don’t conform.” “They are forcing us to both STAY in a (family/work/romantic) relationship with them AND force us to be the way they want us to be.”

Although a relationship between the two thinker types is possibly amazing, the Savants* must be the one who decides whether it’s going to happen or not. The Normal Person* will take on anyone, but the Savants* is selective about who they form a close bond with, therefore, there is ONLY ONE OPTION and it is for the Savants* to decide.

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