the Normal Person*, once accepted into a group with the Savants* in it, are very malleable. “You call a shot, I will follow.” However, they prefer to make their decisions as equal partners, feeling their way into a decision; “I think the correct way to think about this is a, how do you feel?” But, when they flirt or attempt to make a friend, they can be brutally violent about their admission to the group they want to belong in, exactly the opposite to a Savants*, who would never push themselves into a company they do not feel welcome in. The Normal Person* logic is this: “I must be accepted. If they do not want me, it means I am failing as a human being. I must gain their acceptance at all cost.”

Acceptance and belonging into a group of people is the key to everything in the Normal Person*’ mind. They are, what you might call a rejection junkie, they might not be interested in you, at all, but if you reject them, their mind turns: “Why? Why not? YOU don’t want me? OK. You MUST want me. I will work on  you for as long as it takes for you to want me.”

Persistence, also, often pays off.

They can beg, plead, attack, they will do ANYTHING to get you to accept them as a member of your group or as your partner, and they will not take a no for an answer if they have, for a reason or another, decided, that you are the person to impress. The more popular you are, the more likely they have decided that you are the supreme person and that they MUST be accepted by you or else their world collapses because they failed to be a good person.

“What is wrong with me? Why don’t you want me? What do you want out of me?” are the Normal Person* questions.

They can also attack you in order to show you character or their fighting power, and to test your willingness to stick to a group no matter what: A Normal Person* believes that once a group or a bond is forged, it cannot and should not ever be broken.

Once accepted into a group, they would do ANYTHING to prove their worth to you, and feel happiest with a clear set of rules to fulfill the role they fought so hard to get. They will always be in debt to you for having been given a chance to prove themselves, and they will only accept a break up if you prove to them that they didn’t live up to the expectations and that they failed as a human being. The Savants* would never do that… Until they would, but here’s the trouble.

When a Savants* truly gets disappointed with the Normal Person*, it’s usually something intangible that the Savants* take for granted and the Normal Person* didn’t think mattered – because it wasn’t discussed prior to being dismissed as a friend, partner or an employee (all about the same to the Normal Person*) – it can’t be used as a means of dismissal, so they will contest it. Read more about the break up between the Normal Person* and a Savants*.

the Normal Person* and the Normal Person* accept each other no matter what, or they will fight for their previously held behavior ideas to adjust to each other perfectly. They come into the relationship with their package, and they lay it out, deal with it, and accept each other for who they are, but they will never really LOVE each other FOR the person that the other is, but DESPITE of it. To a Savants*, this would be the ultimate insult to say to a partner: “I love you DESPITE of the person who you are” while to the Normal Person*, that is the ultimate relief and source of security. They do not have to perform in order to be accepted.

Now… THIS creates another kink between the Savants* and the Normal Person*. The Savants* NEVER EVER strongly judge you for who you are, but they simply won’t make friends with you if they don’t like you. However, the Savants* are also idealists and philosophers, therefore, they may hold and ideal to be accepting and accommodating towards others and to “give them a chance”. If this is the case, they will accept the Normal Person* into their circle of friends despite actually liking or not liking them, without the negotiation phase, making the Normal Person* think that “this is unconditional love” and, as such, made to last forever. In reality, in the Savants*’ mind, this is barely a real friendship, and they expect it to be broken off at any given moment, when either one of them feels life is steering them into a new direction. This friendship, for a Savants*, will only ever last if the two are mutually benefiting of the friendship. It is a temporary alliance until something better comes along, or, the Normal Person* is simply there, a part of the furniture, insignificant person among other, truly important people.

the Savants* respect other people’s views and perspectives, their way of life and personal freedom, for as long as it doesn’t interfere in other people’s personal freedom or obvious common good. They will only ever try to change other people’s opinion by demonstrating a fact or a logical argument in the contrary of the other person’s idea. The Normal Person* do not care about facts. They can shoot out whatever outlandish remark only to get under your skin and they make friends by irritating other people. (Internet trolls.) This idea is to get and keep the conversation going, and they never take anger seriously. They do not believe in such things as serious or real opinions, they are all created only to keep a conversation going. Once we make friends, we will adjust our ideas to match each other, but until then, we disagree out of principle. Therefore, there is no point arguing with the Normal Person*, and it is dangerous to make friends with them, too, because they do  not believe in the possibility of breaking that bond.

Seeking the Savants* thinking approval

This is the only rule or a bit of help any the Savants* will ever give to the Normal Person* in terms of how to please them: NEVER ask for advice on how to be liked from the members of the exact group you want to belong in. You can ask from people who belong in the same subculture, but not the exact “gang”. Observe, learn, pay attention. Look, but don’t touch, don’t approach, and whatever you do, do not beg, plead, or make a scene. You have to prove that you “just know” how to belong in that group.

Seeking the Normal Person* thinking approval is simple: Simply ask what they expect in a friend and then, become it, and/or negotiate your own terms in addition. A tip for a Savants*: NEVER skip this negotiation if such negotiation is offered to you. Make sure your standards are super high, even impossible to fill. If you say “I don’t have such rules for friends” the Normal Person* thinks you are weak, a walk-over and that you will accept anyone at all as a friend, and therefore you can be pushed around as they like. They do not know that you have a complex set of rules that you will never share when asked, and that making friends with you is like knowing a code to a secret society.

If you don’t know what to say, joke: “I will have my rules for you in writing in about a week.” If they come back for them, say: “Oh I didn’t know you were serious.” To buy time and, also, make a point that your demands are so high that someone like them couldn’t have possibly been serious about attempting to be your friend. Then, make that list, think it through and make sure you haven’t accidentally excluded any of your real friends, because they will pin you down for approving of someone who, according to your list, shouldn’t be your friend. Adding: “My friends will simply know how to do deal with me, I do not like to correct them on things, I do not like to give advice, or be their parent, I need them to be able to read me like an open book, and will never pretend to know when they don’t” might get you out of a lot of trouble. 😀 How do you choose the women you sleep with: “I will have to like the way they look – don’t ask me what I want because it’s rude. I either do or don’t. Then. I like women who let me call them if I like them, and don’t hassle me afterwards if I didn’t like it. I also like women who do not ask me this up front, but know it by instinct.” (Know that a Savants* woman, when told this story, would find it superbly amusing that you’d say this to someone because they asked.)

Subscribe to get a Daily Message