the Normal Person* Personalities do not need to learn how to love the Savants* Personalities

the Normal Person* Personalities find it very distressing to think that not everyone could be loved by everyone in the best possible way. Therefore, writings like the True Emotion Mirror description or the description on how the Savants* Personalities love each other on True Emotion Mirror level cause them distress because they cannot find a way to love each and every character trait of their family members or the members of their golf club. They find it very difficult to make a differentiation between a description of love and a demand of loving someone in the way that the description describes, because, to them, love is a skill, not an emotion.

They find the Savants* Personality way of loving both heightened and impossible to achieve, and that causes a conflict: They must be best people possible, but they cannot reach the kind of love that the Savants* Personalities describe, because they do not understand that you cannot choose the way you love a person, and love isn’t transferable, and you cannot decide that I want to love THAT INDIVIDUAL in THIS WAY. You can always take care of someone’s needs, no matter how you feel about them, simply because you are a human being, but you cannot love someone for the way they are who they are by decision; you either love them or you do not. (This is not entirely true, but it is important to learn that nobody owes love to nobody and that you cannot force yourself to feel a certain way towards another person.) Now, the Normal Person* Personalities might be very irritated at this stage asking what is the purpose of a soulmate typology that describes different ways of love if you cannot learn how to love that way, and here is the answer: It is important for the Savants* Personalities to understand the way the Normal Person* Personalities love, so that they will be able to avoid the guilt trip that the Normal Person* Personalities lay on them for not being able to love them in the way the Normal Person* Personalities fall in love. This is for the protection of the Savants* Personalities, primarily, who will get a lot out of this, and unfortunately, it means the Normal Person* Personalities will have to accept certain realities in life, and one of them is this: You cannot force yourself to love a person’s personality traits unless you happen to value who they are automatically. In other words, love, just like hate or anger, is a reaction, not a skill.

This means, and this is very distressing to the Normal Person* Personality, that sometimes the Savants* Personalities will leave you permanently because you cannot love each other in the way that the Savants* Personalities need to be loved, and to them, the way the Normal Person* Personalities love is an insult to everything that they hold valuable about themselves. The Normal Person* Personality love to a Savants* Personality is a constant reminder of how little they are valued, not the other way around. It is a constant spit in the face, and the more you try to prove them wrong, the less loved they feel. This is an absolute dead bolt unresolvable conflict between the Normal Person* Personalities and the Savants* Personalities, and the unfortunate fact for the Normal Person* Personalities is that the Savants* Personalities can deal with this easily while the Normal Person* Personalities cannot cope nor let go of this idea that there is an easy fix to the situation. There IS a fix, but it requires so much work from the Normal Person* Personality to go through, that it would be unfair and unrealistic to ask the Savants* Personality to wait around for the Normal Person* Personality to get where they need to be in order to love each other – and even then, the most likely result of all the work the Normal Person* Personality will get to is the fact they realize they do not really love each other nor should they.

The Normal Person* Personalities must understand that the Savants* Personality WILL NEVER CHANGE into a person the Normal Person* Personality can respect at the moment. The only solution available is that the Normal Person* Personality will learn to love the traits of the Savants* Personality, respect them or accept that neither will happen and let go of the Savants* Personality. Most often, the Normal Person* Personality will expect the Savants* Personality to change for them, but they will never do that. A person can never be changed by anyone but themselves, and a person who asks another person to change for them is a terrible human being as far as the Savants* Personalities are concerned. A Normal Person* Personality will now get confused again: “But if a Savants* Personality refuses to change for you, aren’t they demanding that the Normal Person* Personality changes for them, and therefore, they are the terrible person?” No, that is not what a Savants* Personality is doing. They would NEVER ask you to change who you are, they are asking the Normal Person* Personality to end the relationship so that they can both continue being who they are.

Unfortunately, it goes against the Normal Person* Personality’s nature to end a relationship for any reason, and that makes the Normal Person* Personality think that the Savants* Personality is asking them to change.

An Savant* Personality must disappear into a rabbit hole in order to make a break from the Normal Person* Personality who has got them pegged for a part of their lives, but how does one do that without having the Normal Person* Personality follow you where ever you go..?

An Savant* Personality needs the Normal Person* Personality to do something completely unforgivable so that all their emotions for them die at that moment. Fortunately, the Savants* Personalities have a very strict code of honor, and if that code is violated, their love and respect for a person will die completely, with the “last straw” method. An Savant* Personality usually has something that they will find an absolute deal breaker; for instance, for me, one of those unforgivable acts is any disrespect shown towards someone I hold in high regard. “You insult a friend of mine, you are dead to me.” If that happens, the bond between the Normal Person* Personality and a Savants* Personality will break from the Savants* Personality’s end.

An Savant* Personality can also violate the trust of the Normal Person* Personality by committing the worst crime they can imagine: To not be there when they need you most. To completely drop the ball on them. To show indifference to all upkeep of a friendship or family unit. To not do what is expected of them. To not be responsible. To cut the ties to the Normal Person* Personality, a Savants* Personality must show the Normal Person* Personality that they are completely unreliable people.

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