Why is your love not good enough?

If you are ever been in a one-sided relationship, in which love is offered but also rejected, it is surprisingly painful for both parties. The Chaser, as they’re sometimes called, the person who wants the relationship, finds it difficult to understand why the Runner, who doesn’t want the relationship would run. The Runner, on the other hand, wonders why this person is trying to obligate them to stay in their company, while simultaneously making it harder for them to find his or her true tribe of people. Although not everything that looks like a rejection is a rejection, it is important to understand WHY someone would reject another person’s offer of love or friendship.

Time and attention

Sometimes you hear a chaser say: “I don’t want anything from them, just their time and attention!”

If that is the very thing you are after, you hit the nail on the head. Time is precious. We have a limited number of years in our lives before we move on, and everyone is busy trying to fill those years with the company of the best people they can find – their cherished ones.

When an unwanted person, or someone of secondary importance to you, demands your time and attention, that time is going to waste. Every second a person has to spend in a polite conversation with a person they would rather not spend time on is away from either the pursuit of getting to the loved ones or having their attention drawn away from their loved ones.

Everyone who has ever been truly in love knows that the happiest you can be is when you are in the company of someone you adore, looking them in the eyes, marveling at the very thing that they are; themselves. Every moment spent on another person, someone who they don’t love, time spent on their needs, their lacks and wants, is time away from the people that person would RATHER spend their time on; either getting to them or staying with them.

Every time an unwanted person opens their mouth…

This is murder. Imagine sitting in the company of the people you most love and cherish in the world. You’re having a conversation – or trying to have a conversation, but every now and again, a person who you barely can stand interrupts the mutual flow of love and adoration with an inane comment that does nothing but interrupts a perfect flow. They need to sort out the linen. They need to do the dishes. The weather is fine today. The “Neighbors” is on television in 10 minutes.

Your flow is interrupted, the perfect moment comes to a screeching halt. Why? Because Neighbors is on soon.

All you want to do is to shoot the damned moron who thought their comment MATTERED. That it bore a fly’s shit of importance in this world. Your perfect world, your perfect harmonious world comes to a state of interruption because someone needs to inform you that the linen need to be sorted out.

Fuck. Me.

Sure, if there’s nobody there, let’s talk about fucking Neighbors.

There are times in a person’s life when the Neighbors have its role, and minding the linen is not a major break in the flow of divine energy. During those times, sure, it’s OK to bring up rubbish discussion topics and talk about stuff that simply DOESN’T MATTER with people who don’t matter that much to you personally. Sure, you can have a chat about hubcaps and the Tivoli that is in town (that’s actually pretty cool) but when you’re with the most amazing people you know in this world, and someone with a personality of a pumpkin decides now it’s the perfect time to interject the conversation with a moronic comment to show how much they love you and  care for you, failing that very task miserably, you just want to freaking shoot them in the head right there.

It doesn’t matter how much you love someone, what matters is how much you love each other.

True love is a two-way street. It is shared between people who LOVE EACH OTHER. You cannot decide how another person will or should feel about you. A feeling is a response to who you are as a character, NOT how you feel about them. If you are on the development level that still gets amazed just because nice people are nice to you, too, you do not know the first thing about true love. You’re settling for scraps off the table of the well-fed. The crumbs that fall off their table… And no. You can’t sit at their table and eat, because that stuff is literally THEIRS.

Just like you cannot order the Sun shining in Africa to be nice enough to also shine in cold Alaska because it would be NICE OF IT TO, you cannot order love shining on person A to be transferred to person B just because you’d fucking like it that way. It doesn’t work that way.

A person CAPABLE of love for one person isn’t (fairly) obligated to love another.

What matters is how much love exists between two or more people. You cannot ORDER love to flow for you. You cannot TELL a flower to bloom, the Sun to shine, or the wind to change direction. It is just as foolish to insist a person to love you simply because you wish it were so.

“Let me love you”

The time someone insists a person to be loving one person is time away from that person’s true heart’s desire. You cannot assume that your love is equally good as someone else’s love for all people. We are all made of energy, and we respond to each other’s energy fields differently. Some people’s energy is much more universally liked than other peoples, and they didn’t get that way by accident. They worked on it, and if you want to be one of those people, too, you have to work on it just the way they have. NONE OF THIS is an accident. NOBODY is loved for free.

We reincarnate, and during those incarnations, some people focus on making sure they INSPIRE LOVE in others, while others make sure they get what they want out of others. A person focussed on inspiring love is going to receive love a lot more certainly than a person who is focussed on manipulating other people, their feelings, and insisting love is given to them for free.

If you want free love, you will have to settle for charity, because that’s the only place where love is given freely, and even then, it is simply enough to get you by for now. TRUE LOVE, just like everything else worth a damn must be earned. Inspired.

Make sure people want to hear what you say before you open your mouth

There is one life lesson all introverts of this world have learned. They know the world doesn’t revolve around them and their words. Every introvert knows to choose the company in which they open their mouths. They know that not everyone who they meet will appreciate everything they have to say, so they pick and choose the company and their words wisely. When they talk, they choose their topics that suit the company they’re in. Extroverts don’t. Extroverts are notoriously non-selective about what they say, as to them, all that matters is white noise coming out of people’s mouths. MORONIC.

If you want to be well-liked, the first step in that direction is to understand this one fundamental truth: YOU ARE NOT LOVED BY ALL PEOPLE YOU MEET. YOU DO NOT MATTER TO ALL PEOPLE YOU MEET. You are an insignificant spirit embodied in carbon compounds and as magnificent as you are in some ways, you are NOT the center of the Universe. NOBODY IS LOVED BY EVERYBODY UNIVERSALLY, but some people are better loved by people in general than others, and the ONLY WAY you get love is by understanding that you DO NOT GET TO BE LOVED BY EVERYONE ALL THE TIME and that you don’t get to CHOOSE who will have to love you, this includes your children. They don’t owe you love, either.

Welcome to the grown-up world.

Shit ain’t pretty all the time.

Subscribe to get a Daily Message