The Love Game: Breaking Your Heart just to Mend it again

I want you to know this first truth instantly: If a person is in love with you, they will let you break them. They will let you break their heart just so you can be the one healing the heart.

No love returned will break you instead

If that person is not in love with you, they will fight back and rather break you than let you break them. That is how you know whether they are in love with you or not.

And no, you cannot teach someone to love you by breaking them, if they are simply not in love with you in the first place.

… And wisdom to know the difference.

There are some clauses to this basic truth, however
Vulnerability can be taken advantage of. That is why it’s called what it is called. If you try and make someone vulnerable, they are not only vulnerable to you at that moment, but everyone else, too.

If there are other people near by, involved in their lives, who will take advantage of their broken state, they also won’t let the right people in, because everyone present in that moment will be let in.

There are moments in a person’s life, when they break and all the possible wrong people get an access. I personally remember a past life during which my husband was brutally executed in front of my own very eyes, and I was no good to anyone. At that moment, every vermin that waits for people to be in that state of no defenses came crawling in, making sure I knew I knew “they’d be there when nobody else is”. (As in, taking advantage of the one moment an incredibly strong person is with no strength or walls at all.) In this moment, weak, meaningless people can gain an access to a strong person for lifetimes to come. All they need to do is to wait for the right moment to strike.

When this person’s strength returns, (and it will, as no death is permanent), the gateway will remain open, and this person will start fighting back against the false connections made during an hour of absolute weakness.

Domestic abuse, abusive friendships etc.
When someone is in love with you, they will allow you to break them, but they also expect you to fix it afterwards. However, if a person isn’t in love with someone who is constantly trying to get closer, they’ll defend themselves in very similar ways as someone in love who is trying to break a person to get closer to them. So they break you, break you, break you, but will never fix you, because that would be an act of love and they are not in love with you.

People who have never felt the need to break another person
I write of both a familiar territory and an unfamiliar territory, as I am one of the people who cannot recall a time or a situation, in this lifetime or another, in which I would have felt the need to break a person I love to get closer to them. Whenever I’ve felt the need to “kill” someone, to break them, it’s been an absolute, 100% act of hatred and wrath, and has 0 to do with love, and even less to do with respect.

So this is unfamiliar to me because I cannot tell what it is like to want to break someone from a personal perspective, and more than familiar to tell you what it feels like when someone you don’t care for shit wants to get close to you and break you down so they could get under your skin.

First of all, I have 0 difficulty letting people I love and respect close to me. I let them in so quickly and easily that I grave it. I NEED to feel people close to me, but of course I pick and choose who I let in. I let in gentle people, people with soft personalities, loving people who approach me with respect and tenderness. I let them in so easily, and I trust them with everything I feel.

When someone attacks me, I close up. If someone says one mean thing to me, whatever love I felt for them dies that very instant, and ladies, I must tell you, 99% of men are with me on this, INITIALLY. But this is where it gets interesting: Once you’ve let someone come as close as you have ever let someone, that is when the need to break you down happens again. I can feel it, even though I haven’t felt it so I can remember it. If you’ve already been here, you want someone this close, and you look for those people who have already been this close to you before – your True Emotion Mirrors and other people willing to be that intimate with you. And also, this space belongs to them, not some new blow in that just swooshed by and decided to make a nest into you – nuhhuh.

Boundaries:

– Before my love dies (self-respect, separation)
– Before I lose my temper with you (intimacy, togetherness)

This doesn’t tell about the person involved but their relationship to each other, enough love or not? Should they stay together or not, not what the one should “do more” or “give more” unless it’s simly the case of understanding where the other person is coming from.

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