How to ensure the True Emotion Mirror relationship doesn’t slip into blatant abuse?

In this post, I wrote about how an unwanted relationship that functions under the rule of “unbreakable bond” and to prove an unbreakable bond turns into sadistic abuse leading to serious mental illness. In this post, I’ll attempt to answer the problem, that a lot of the True Emotion Mirror, TrEmor, relationship fun is based on the fact there ARE no limits, the love endures all, including physical abuse and what not. So how do you tell the difference here?

Always a combination of pleasure and pain

A sadistic relationship forgets about the pleasure part. The True Emotion Mirror relationship always balances the pleasure and pain for both partners. They do not test the endurability of the relationship, they test how far can they go, while the smile remains on their partners face. How far can they go WITHOUT angering their partner(s). The love, the good feelings, the acceptance, and joy is always present no matter what happens.

The pain is never real, the suffering is always somewhat humorous, and sadism is always paired with pleasure. These things are missing from an abusive karmic relationship, most likely for both/all parties.

“Why are you like that?! Don’t be like that!”

In the abusive relationship, there’s always frustration over the fact one partner doesn’t react to the abuse in an expected way. “They lack a sense of humor”, or “they take everything so seriously!” This creates a feeling that this person “doesn’t know how to do relationships” or “this person isn’t good in relationships” or whatever, and they wish to train them to be so.

However, this is not a skill as much as it is an authentic reaction to a genuine feeling of all-consuming love. The skill part comes in allowing things to happen that are not considered ‘healthy’, and trusting that it’s okay for as long as it is fun, reassuring, or creates another source of a highly pleasurable emotion. The skill is the cerebral part, understanding one’s own psychology, but that cannot be helped by subjecting a person to abuse they genuinely don’t enjoy. It can be helped by verbally explaining what the expected response is, oddly enough, that does help, although to some, it ruins the fun. (If so, be prepared to die to teach that fucking lesson, as the other partner may be teaching you a lesson too: YOU ARE NOT WORTH THIS CRAP to me, and YOUR LOVE means SHIT to me in comparison.)

NOBODY is good in the wrong relationship. NOBODY knows what to do with the wrong person. If they don’t love you, they simply don’t. Love is not a skill as much as it is an emotion. The emotion leads to other things.

In an abusive relationship, there’s at least one person who isn’t having fun… At all.

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