Letting go of letting go – Obsess all you want

There’s a time for everything, says the Bible, and for once, I couldn’t agree more.

There’s a time to obsess, there’s a time to chill.

I know first hand how hard it is to tell when you’re taking things overboard. When you’re doing too much, trying too hard, putting in too much effort and being too obsessed about every little detail. Then, we try harder to not try so hard, we stress over quitting obsessing, and obsess about relaxing about the detail. All in the same bracket of problems.

Stop controlling your urges

Sometimes, you just have to let yourself obsess and be manic. Do what you have to do. Go crazy. Let go of controlling yourself, quit fearing where you might wind up if you keep doing it – you’ll find out. You’ll crash and burn eventually, and then you’ll know.

There’s a time for everything – and the thing is, you don’t know why you’re obsessing. If you did, you would have your solution by now and you wouldn’t have to obsess. Then again, if you notice a friend obsessing, and it pisses you off, get your hands dirty and try and help them get to the bottom of why they’re being so obsessive. Don’t just tell them to quit it, get involved. Or just shout at them, (whatever you feel like doing, that is) whatever your instinct tells you to do is often the right thing, push them until you get to the answer. They may not thank you for it, but hell, it’ll sort that thing out, it may be the end of your friendship, but better to know it now than later.

The answer is never the same for all people

I spent about 7 years obsessing over something. I wrote 30 standard books length of material over it. Every day something. If I wasn’t writing, I was thinking about those things. Spent countless of hours with Tarot cards over the matter. Finally, I got to the last piece of the puzzle and the entire landscape changed. I am sure that if I gave you the last piece of the puzzle, it would either mean nothing to you, it would be obvious to you that that’s the way things are, it would be too early on, or simply one of your 1000 pieces you need to put in place.

Fuck organized

Start where it feels natural. Ignore people who tell you to work in an organized manner. Fuck, if I had tried to organize what I was doing, I’d be in such a web of a mess that there’d be no way out of it. Work in the order that feels natural. If you’re emptying years worth of junk in your garage it makes no sense pulling the stuff OUT in an alphabetical order to see what’s in there.

During this time I was eating like a pig

I don’t know if this is related, but I was eating like a pig going through this phase. I spent most of my time in bed with my laptop and did very little exercise. It felt like a force was stopping me from doing that. I think it was my Missguides though, they didn’t want to let me start obsessing over my health/looks too, and it was easier to go with that flow than to go against them in addition to everything else I had to fight against.

As a consequence, I slept a lot, too. Took 3 naps a day sometimes, just to keep my eyes open. Stayed awake until 6 am. 😀 Then again, I had the time to do it. I was on a disability support for the majority of the time. I was diagnosed as a schizophrenic, rightly or wrongly.

Whatever I was doing, it didn’t LOOK healthy, and the fact is, that if I had lived closer to my parents, I couldn’t have had gone through with it. They would have interfered somehow, I think, but I lived in Australia, while I’m from Finland, giving me all the space I needed… Considering the fact they were among my voices driving me crazier still.

What looks crazy, maybe the exact thing the doctor ordered

Despite all of this, I felt healthier than ever. I was getting my head screwed on back the right way around, after lifetimes and lifetimes of spiritual, psychological, and religious pursuits making me so tightly wound up that I couldn’t see straight anymore. And, this, of course, is about the same stuff, and now I’m trying to teach people to not do it if you’re not obsessed about it… And for the love of God, don’t FORCE people to do it or to abide by a code.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter one jolt what you’re doing as long as you feel good about doing it. I am almost ready to say that if you have to medicate yourself with drugs, fuck, do it. Our lives are eternal, and you can do whatever you like with this one. It doesn’t matter. The only thing that we need to do here is to learn to enjoy ourselves. Doing drugs might not be the smartest thing to do, but it’s also not the worst. :p After all, you could spend your time doing work you hate doing – and that is the worst idea I can think of.

Fighting our urges leads us where we don’t need to be

The thing is… Whenever we FIGHT our urges, we wind up on the wrong path. I don’t know what you’ve done in your past lives and in this one, but somehow, you got yourself into this point where you are at now, and if you don’t like it, you’ll have to find your way out of it. I can guarantee the road out is not the same for you as it is for another person, after all, nobody has ever been exactly where you are at now.

Let me point out this… Whenever we hide our true selves, we wind up hanging out with people who are NOT like us and who don’t like who we are. The Catholic church is full of child-raping pedophiles. Why? Because the Catholic church priesthood is largely compiled by the wayward boys being half forced to join the clergy. They were forced to suppress their urges, and they come out eventually in the most horrible ways possible, and then, people are surprised people like this could be found in the Church! You collect a mass of boys and girls who are misbehaving and you wonder where did all this “evil” come from! It’s also not that the boys were evil, it’s just that they weren’t exactly fitting in, so they were put in a position where they fit in even less, so… No wonder, hey?

So. Whatever bad place you are in, you got there by oppression and suppression. Whatever is good in your life, you  got there by liberating yourself, right?

Fuck the opposition. Get free.

Subscribe to get a Daily Message