It is often extremely difficult to identify if you are holding onto false hope with a soulmate that has separated from you, rather than knowing that another person is bound to you by their soul and simply not ready to reunite with you. What I am about to write will come together in one fairly simple rule of thumb:

“If a person tells you they don’t want you, take their word for it and let go of them. At any rate, without letting go, you won’t have them back. Ever.”

This doesn’t mean to stop thinking about them, or to stop loving them, nor does it mean that you should stop preparing for a potential reunion, but you have to let go of a DEMAND or insistence that they will come back to you. You might not, in all honesty, realize you are doing this, if you are so used to doing it that you don’t know the alternative, but if you do know what it feels like when you simply allow things to happen rather than force them to happen, allow it, do not force it. If you don’t know the difference I am talking about, that is something for you to work on.

It doesn’t matter what kind of a bond you have, because right now this person wants you out of their life, and they may not change their mind, even if they were a True Emotion Mirror. Even if you were bonded through your souls, you are still just human, and you function under human rules. This has as much to do with psychology as it has to do with spirituality – even more so, because psychological trauma does carry over from other lifetimes, and there might be a truly good reason why they don’t want to be around you anymore – A True Emotion Mirror or not, there is no guarantee of a return, ever.

However, out of curiosity rather than need, I’m going to try and identify the situations where you really really should let go (before someone gets killed).

Dashing your hopes

There are two kinds of soulmates that you should be cautious to not mix up. The One-sided soulmate, as in Enigma, who simply reflects someone that you want (your True Emotion Mirror), but who isn’t them. You are looking in the wrong place, and just like a mirage, you will never be able to chase them down, because they are not really there. Then, there is the Interrupted stage True Emotion Mirror, with whom you have some stuff to sort out with. The True Emotion Mirror is worth working stuff out with – but even then, letting go of them is essential to the recovery of your relationship. (Letting go doesn’t mean breaking up with them, obviously, more to the point, it is trusting the knowledge that if they were meant to be with you, they will be with you, and if not, they will go to the person who they truly love, and that YOUR True Emotion Mirror will not love someone else more than you, it doesn’t work that way. If they do, they are not yours.) You will not be able to see clearly what your bond is about until you are ready to let go of the need that they will be yours forever.

Are you the Enigma?

There is also the possibility that you are an Enigma to someone else; if you feel like you have to maintain a relationship out of responsibility or fear that if you let go of them, they will break down and perish because they can’t cope with life without you… Or you can’t finalise a break up because you’re afraid you might regret it later. If you are keeping a friend or a connection to a family member alive out of guilt or fear, you are probably an Enigma to them. They seem as if they were only one lifelong connection, they may be lovers, mothers, fathers, friends that you can’t quite shake, but they are most likely souls that want to be connected to you for a lifetime after lifetime… It is best for all of you if you simply cut all emotional ties and let go of the guilt that ties you together. For as long as they are hanging onto you for something that is simply not real, you are stopping them from finding their True Emotion Mirrors*, and also you should make a conscious decision that this is the last lifetime you allow them near. Trust that the Universe will guide them away from you.

How does the Enigma feel about this connection?

This bond is kind of irrelevant to the Enigma. They’ll live even if you’re not in their lives, and they would possibly be relieved if you weren’t. This could be described as a co-dependent relationship, where the other is being sucked out of energy and the other one receives it. It is common for the Enigma to be a “local hero”, someone who is always helping others in some way, and who gives without asking anything in return. It is common that they are a mentor, spiritual teacher or healer, a yogi, a nurse or someone who is simply very affectionate and loving or supportive for a lot of people without selfish motives. This often feels like true (romantic) love to those who are not used to receiving love from people for no reason but for altruistic motivations. It is an unbalanced relationship, where the Enigma is being controlled and used (even if only as a romantic object) for all they’re worth while never receiving much of a compensation.

They are on a different level of development; the Enigma is often much more accomplished and talented, and this is something that lures a lot of people to the Enigma: they are what people want to be or what people want to love, but as you are not there yet yourself, this ends up being one-sided. The irony is, that when a lot of people tell the Enigma that they are not supposed to love people similar to them, (beautiful, successful, intelligent, popular) they are easily coaxed to stay away from THEIR True Emotion Mirror out of guilt or fear of being shallow.

Having an Enigma doesn’t mean they don’t love you or have never wanted you in any way, it simply means they do not want you as bad as you need them to. To them, you are an option, not a must. You know you are dealing with an Enigma if there is anything that you want to change about them, their lifestyle or their attitude (apart from denying you or helping them become themselves again, but be careful with this one, because you might be wishfully thinking that this is not really who they are, even though they were. Special mention; celebrities often resemble your True Emotion Mirrors*, but if you wouldn’t really want to live a celebrity

Special mention; celebrities are such visible people, that as Enigmas, that most of them are, they attract attention from far and wide, from a lot of truly compatible people. It is a complete myth that there is “one true love” for all of us, even the True Emotion Mirror variation of it is a myth, and I know a lot of people will insist I don’t know what I am talking about, but either True Emotion Mirrors are not real or it is possible that there are several, whichever way you want to think about it. In case of celebrity Enigmas, if you wouldn’t really want to live a celebrity lifestyle but you’d like to turn this person into “a commoner” like  you, this is probably not your True Emotion Mirror* unless they seem to truly be suffering for their celebrity status).

Giving you hope

As I said, it’s terribly difficult sometimes to know which kind of soulmate we are talking about. Real soulmates sometimes behave much the same way but for different motivations, and that can cause insecurity and pain, but having said that, the rule of thumb always remains: If they say they don’t want you, you must let them go, because that is the only way they’ll come back if they’re ever going to come back, that is. In a sense, this is the best thing: You can’t go wrong by letting them go even if they are a True Emotion Mirror and you wish letting go to bring them back. It is the first step in EVERY soulmate relationship, good or bad, while in the relationship or broken up. (Yes, you’ll have to let them go even if you are in a relationship with them because only that way they can stay voluntarily, but that doesn’t mean breaking up with them, obviously. This is something you must do on the emotional level, not as a behavior.) If you meditate, meditate on your crown chakra, for this is the chakra that governs independence.

One of the best things to know is that if you “just know” in your gut that this person is bonded with you forever, whether you know anything about soulbonds previously. (If it’s one sided, you should have severe doubt that isn’t caused by reading True Emotion Mirror -websites, as they tend to give you doubt no matter what as the theory is incomplete or largely misunderstood, I’m not quite sure.) If you feel complete trust that this person is yours, no matter what, no matter who they marry, how many kids they’ll have or how far on this planet they’ll travel, that they are bonded to you forever, and you can feel their love even when they deny having any feelings… When their eyes say one thing and tongue says the other, you can still know that they will be with you, if not in this lifetime, then one following… But you still have to let go. You will have to let go of “now” but not necessarily of “one day”, but the balance can be hard to maintain.

You should sense whether your soulmate loves you or not if you let go of the fear of the answer. They don’t need to tell you that, you know it as certainly as you can feel raindrops on your skin, even if it was more subtle than absolute confidence. You just know that they love you. You know that they love your core, even if something on the outside was throwing them off the scent so to speak. A one-sided soulmate is different. You know you have to achieve something or one of you have to change in order to gain that love. A True Emotion Mirror* loves you even if they wouldn’t be able to express it for a reason or another. A True Emotion Mirror* may also get some pretty silly ideas about what they should do about you; when you want something so bad that your skin burns, but you have to deny your feelings because you or they might be married or in a relationship with someone else or so forth, you can start telling yourself some pretty hideous lies about what you are truly feeling. It may take time for a self-deluding soulmate to go through that pile of rubbish.

Also, that leads us to the rule of thumb number two: Let go of plan B. soulmate unions are an all-in kind of relationship. If you are currently in a relationship with someone else, you’ll have to let go of them, too, fully. This is because your soulmate can see you through the soul, and if you are still hanging onto a plan B, they will keep lying to themselves about how they feel about you in order to protect themselves from future pain. They will not put themselves in danger of you changing your mind again after they have surrendered everything to you. I don’t know if this giving you hope or dashing them, bit of both I guess, but it just means that you have to give it your all. The thing is though, that if you believe this soulmate is the only one for you, you’ll be coaxed to hang onto Plan B, when in fact you should let them go anyway. This love that you feel for this soulmate should be your benchmark and you should not settle for anything less than that, whether it is this person or another you’ll find later. Do not compromise your life, we may have all the time in the world to get this right, but life is precious, this time, this place will never happen again and you will never have the chance to do this again in this time in history.

Recap

To have any chance of having a working relationship with your soulmate – whatever kind they are, you need to let go of them first, assume you can’t have them in your life. If this is a True Emotion Mirror, or you wish to find another True Emotion Mirror, you’ll have to also let go of any competing relationships that you may have, if you also wish to remain monogamous. In other words, if you are going to choose only one, you must choose one, and release the bond with the others – it is not fair on them for you to keep your taps on several people while pretending to be in love with just one. Mono or poly, your call, but live with that choice honestly.

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