Things I’ve said on the Personality Mirror Soulmate Typology that were misinterpreted
You know how in the Bible there is one reference to homosexuality, and a whole heap of people take that as a freaking excuse to beat up homosexuals and to scream “God hates fags” at them? Yeah. This is the kind of thing I do not want to see happen with my teachings. Here are some of the things I know people have misinterpreted about what I say about the Personality Mirror Soulmate Typology and related matters.
Because I have tons of True Emotion Mirrors myself, I must know the recipe for creating them!
I have spent countless of lifetimes studying humans, humanity, myself, and particularly the men I love. I PAY ATTENTION. The biggest magic that I hold with people is my ability to SEE that person for who they REALLY are. I hold no need to alter them to become what I WISH they would be. Even when I don’t like someone that much, I do not work towards changing them. (Even though I do sometimes moralize people… Often. I often moralize people. Like in this post. I feel it’s my freaking duty to because people DO NOT PAY ENOUGH ATTENTION to each other and each other’s needs.)
So. I do. I DO pay attention to other people and their needs, but this doesn’t mean I am willing to fulfill everyone’s needs, not at all. I simply recognize them. I am ABLE to see into a person and see them for who they really are, and this gives me an advantage over other people: I recognize one of my True Emotion Mirrors when I see them, where other people walk right past theirs.
In addition, I have rarely remained monogamous in my previous lifetimes. This means I’ve had the opportunity to naturally develop more connections than most people. I am also a very, very, very old soul who loves men. You figure it out. The one ingredient to having a lot of True Emotion Mirrors , quite frankly, is prostitution. And don’t even think that you cannot fall in love with the perfect man who is your client if you are following your own true self as a prostitute.
False assumption: You can use the Personality Mirror Soulmate Typology to turn “anyone” into a True Emotion Mirror
There are at least two things I’ve said that people misunderstand for me saying the Personality Mirror Soulmate Typology can be used to CREATE True Emotion Mirrors , not IDENTIFY them:
Some people think that because I don’t believe in True Emotion Mirrors on the theoretical level, I think ANYONE can be turned into a True Emotion Mirror with my personality typology. (Theory: “The Sun goes around the Earth as that’s what it looks like.” Proven false. A theory: “True Emotion Mirrors are a result of a split soul because that’s the way it feels”. I believe to be false, but cannot prove in other way but a logical argument.)
Secondly, I say “True Emotion Mirror connection is a choice” therefore I mean you can choose anyone you kinda like and turn them into a True Emotion Mirror.
The True Emotion Mirror connection is “a choice”
When I say “this connection is a choice” I don’t mean “(near) ANYONE at all can be made into a True Emotion Mirror”, FAR from it. The origin of this statement may explain it better:
When the True Emotion Mirror theory states that OK, you’ve got all these feelings and True Emotion Mirror signs with this person (a True Emotion Mirror runner), they ARE your True Emotion Mirror, right? Now, you simply figure out what is wrong with them and why they think you don’t need to be with them, right?
The Typology is attempting to FIX THIS belief by reminding people that you cannot choose yourself to be the lover for another person who is trying to reject you!! I am trying to remind people that if the person you love doesn’t choose you, they won’t. They are free to walk away from it, because no spiritual law is holding them to you. They do not OWE you anything, simply because YOU love them.
If you love it, you let it go if it wants to leave
If you TRULY loved them, you wouldn’t even ATTEMPT to hold them to some external rule locking them to you. I know there are people who do not understand this easily, as they WISH someone would hang onto he to dear life like that. It starts to get old when you get it from everyone you meet, though.
There is NO WAY you should feel entitled to use these theories as an excuse to force someone reluctant or unwilling into loving you or staying with you, that should be a given. If you do not understand how I mean it, (around the year 2000 this makes more sense to people:) consider whether or not it is morally right to demand a woman to love and be with a guy who really really really loves her, even if she doesn’t want him back? Right or wrong? It is wrong, of course. The same is true in reverse, and should be applied to all human relationships, the one who wants out of a relationship, family relationships included, is free to go.
The Typology is “a diagnosis”, not the medicine! (The medicine is in the blog once you got the diagnosis right.)
Secondly, there is the idea that you can turn anyone (you love or want) into a True Emotion Mirror by treating them according to the description of how the TSM’s feel for each other and how they treat each other. NO. False. This is a DESCRIPTION OF what happens AUTOMATICALLY when True Emotion Mirrors meet each other from day one. It is a description, not the treatment.
Although the True Emotion Mirrors often face problems, the actual diagnosis does not even go into the problems yet. The problems and their treatments are discussed inside the blog, not in the typology itself.
Time alone won’t fix it
Trail Companions* usually DO NOT turn into True Emotion Mirrors over time, but there is that point that they MIGHT. This is to make a difference to the True Emotion Mirror theory that states the connection is ready made and eternal. It is not.
The True Emotion Mirror connection develops over time but it not created by time or in time.
The connection STARTS from the point that EACH partner is ALREADY compatible or willing to be molded into a compatible partner. WILLING. You are not permitted to using these theories as an excuse to over-ride another person’s free will. You can LEAVE a person freely by your own choice and that may be against their free will, but as it is two free wills against each other, the ONLY fair choice is that the person who wishes to leave, should.
Trying to over-ride another person’s free will is damaging to them
You CAN but are not allowed to on my blessing. You still CANNOT make them into something they don’t want to be, with or without my help. You are ABLE to try it, causing an enormous harm to the person you claim to love, and that is why I am telling you NO. You are NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT. It is not an act of love but an act of absolute “fuck your needs and serve mine” -attitude.
A false assumption that it is enough for ONE person to feel the love
Again, the connection is MUTUAL. A one-sided connection is called The Enigma, and it is not a sign of a timeless, endless true love. Enigmas are somewhat “false” in a sense, it is NOT a connection that turns into a True Emotion Mirror or that is included in the typology as “you start from here and work your way to TMS!” No. That is not a stage of a connection, it is a separate category altogether.
The difference an eternity makes
We do live thousands of incarnations, therefore it would be wrong to say it can NEVER happen. It is possible that you will evolve into a compatible partner, but there is no way to say you will, just that you might, with some tiny theoretical possibility you should NOT hang onto. It is mentioned simply to explain how sometimes, quite effortlessly, some people DO change and become True Emotion Mirrors , and when that happens, it should not be treated as a way to disprove the rest of it! It simply requires that both partners are evolving in the same direction.
Do not attempt to fix them, fix yourself!
(To leave someone, fix them, to come together with someone, fix yourself.)
You should also take it into account that MOST PEOPLE think they ought to FIX THE OTHER Person if they want to make them into a True Emotion Mirror. If you want a fraction of a higher chance to get what you want, WORK ON YOURSELF, not them. You are supposed to CHANGE YOURSELF to match your intended, not the other way around. If you are not willing to change for them, they do not matter enough to you, and you should leave them the fuck alone.
The change MUST BE voluntary or automatic, pleasure for the person changing (growing). To qualify for a True Emotion Mirror, it CANNOT BE forced upon someone who doesn’t wish to change, no matter how self-righteously you believe you are the epitome of fucking perfection.
Your assumption: “Because I am a polyamorist, I’ve given up on true love”
People also see polyamory as a proof of me being a cynic who doesn’t believe in true love. Anyone who understands polyamory, however, understand that it is a highly spiritual way of viewing love. In fact, a lot of polyamorists find their way of thinking through a spiritual enlightenment. I am among those people.
True love is also a term that people define differently. I define it as something a source of never-ending pleasure in another person or other persons whilst you are both in your true, authentic state. This means that when in love, the feelings are somewhat automatic and easy to maintain, although they might be strong and even torturous – but pleasurably so.
True love should not feel like an obligation but a privilege, yet, not an entitlement, if you understand what I mean. On that note, there is a point after which you can take your True Emotion Mirror for granted and stop “working for it”, and just chill and expect them to be there while you fart while you sleep. Hahah! (But this is never before you have reached the point where you can ask that other person if you can take them for granted, and they grin and say “absolutely.”)
I say: “To find true love, you must be your true self”, people assume it continues: “as your True You makes EVERYONE love you”
The True You is kind of ugly. To reveal your true self WILL find you true love, but it will also repel the people who DO NOT love you. It is a turn off to those who don’t love you, and attractive as hell to those who do. I’ll write more about it elsewhere in the basics.
You cannot have a (strongly) reluctant True Emotion Mirror. You can have a fearful one, or a “testy” one, but not a reluctant one.
Also, you cannot have a reluctant True Emotion Mirror. CANNOT HAPPEN. A True Emotion Mirror runner is different to a reluctant Trail Companion*. RELUCTANCE is an actual feeling that True Emotion Mirrors do not feel for each other (short for mutual fetishes).
The TSMs run because they are AFRAID of NOT BEING LOVED BACK. There are countless of runner-chaser posts I’ve written. Please first understand the typology before you try to apply remedies into your relationships based on it. You might wind up making matters much worse.
The True Emotion Mirror bond is created over time
Although this is true, there are TWO main factors that create the True Emotion Mirror bond, BOTH of them are required to make it into one.
First, and MOST IMPORTANTLY; 100% compatibility in ALL areas of life. ALL of them. 100%. No exceptions. It sounds like a lot to ask, but that is what it is. That is how incredible this connection is. This is a NON-NEGOTIABLE.
Lovers’ Choice Soulmates* need to agree on ONE THING only, that they want to stay together, the True Emotion Mirrors have to see eye-to-eye about everything 100% percent of the time, even though they are MORE THAN CAPABLE of MISUNDERSTANDING each other. However, they need to feel COMPLETE and UTTER respect and love for each other INSTINCTIVELY from day one, and they will be fighting this feeling from there on unless they surrender to it.
IF Trail Companions* agree 100% on wanting to stay together no matter what, there is a strong chance THEY WILL turn into True Emotion Mirrors in time (across lifetimes kind of time). However, they BOTH need to want it and you cannot decide this on another person’s behalf!
Both True Emotion Mirror connections require a mutual 100%, but a 100% of what?
TIME makes these connections MORE INTENSE. Even so, time alone doesn’t create ANYTHING more than Spousal Spirit Mirrors , which, again, are NOT a subcategory of True Emotion Mirrors , but ARE potentially what Lovers’ Choice Soulmates* are initially. But again, the wanting to be together MUST BE 100% mutual in the case of Lovers’ Choice Soulmates*:
Adjusting Sprit Mirrors 100% MUTUAL, voluntary, commitment based on THE NEED to stick with someone (anyone, really, with some basic requirements) forever. NEVER RELUCTANTLY but out of a deep-seated need to be with someone. (This is a relatively simple relationship, but MUST BE entered in with a mutual wish to be together with SOMEONE willing to make a 100% commitment just like you.) (Do not attempt this with a reluctant partner and try and make them AGREE to something, as they may agree “to try” but that’s half-hearted and not even near enough for this to work.)
True Emotion Mirrors are 100% COMPATIBLE, 100% in love with each other from DAY ONE, but may run from the connection out of FEAR of not being wanted. Should not need a whole lot of convincing to stop and stay, but both partners may not WANT TO or understand they SHOULD encourage the other for several reasons. (This is a complicated connection.)
There was a time when I stated that Trail Companions* ARE a ‘stage of development’ of a True.
Okay. We are splitting hairs here, but this is true in a SENSE.
You know how the True Emotion Mirror concept identifies certain spirits as your True Emotion Mirror or NOT your True Emotion Mirror? As they believe these feelings to be based on a soul splitting in two and now reuniting, there is NO WAY for that soul to then change their mind and become a not a True Emotion Mirror, right? It either is or is not. Once you’ve declared True Emotion Mirrors, the expectation is that either the person making that declaration was mistaken or blatantly lied, or, you stick it out until you find a way together. No way out of it, if the identification of the connection was correct.
I believe this not to be true, so in that sense, there is no CLEAR on or off button between a Trail Companion* and a True Emotion Mirror. Also, the line between a HIGHLY compatible Partial or an Destination Soulmate and a True Emotion Mirror is a split of a hair. SOME people are FAR FAR FAR from this line with each other, and CLEARLY Trail Companions* to each other, while there are other people who are so close but still not there, and it’s VERY DIFFICULT to say whether they are or are not.
Some, again, are SO CLEARLY True Emotion Mirrors , you don’t even need to second guess it, even if you had NEVER heard of this theory before. You just KNOW. So in THAT sense, it is a volume controller, not an on and off -switch.
True Emotion Mirrors feel utter admiration towards each other
Some people have mistaken the description of True Emotion Mirror admiration as an expectation or “a tool” for making someone into a True Emotion Mirror. This mistake leads to ass-kissing and empty flattery and attempts to stroke someone’s ego by sucking up to them.
THIS IS NOT what I mean!!
The admiration and the love of saying nice things to each other, and loving to shower praise at each other (and often, sometimes, the fear that the love is not mutual) is automatic. It simply is. It isn’t manufactured. When the respect isn’t mutual between people, then a constant showering with love and praise feels UNCOMFORTABLE to the recipient, because they cannot honestly reciprocate. Not a good strategy to making a friend, let alone a lover, particularly out of someone who is so used to hearing praise it comes out of their ears.
However, praise from your True Emotion Mirror (and 2nd Tier Destinations) ALWAYS feels amazing and pretty/completely comfortable and a bit too good to be true, no matter who you are.
Feeling “star struck”
I say True Emotion Mirrors “feel star struck” about each other. This is not to say that every time you feel star struck, you’ve met a True Emotion Mirror, obviously.
To expand on this, the True Emotion Mirror connection has SEVERAL SIGNS. Although they dontdon’tL need to be there to make it a True Emotion Mirror, it DOES need the majority of signs to be present. You cannot just take one or two and base your faith on them! (The more popular the person, the more this is true!)
The MOST IMPORTANT aspect of the True Emotion Mirror connection is that it is MUTUALLY FELT. FELT. Not acted upon, but felt. If you have already offered your love and ensured the rejection is not done out of insecurities or fears, YOU HAVE TO accept this was a “false positive” as in, a Trail Companion* is mistaken for a True Emotion Mirror.
The reason why the Typology has been written in the first place
I’ve written about this a few times, and it is important you understand the reasons behind the creation of the Typology in the first place. It is not here to tell you, you are not as good as others and your love isn’t worth as much, it’s here to reassure those who fear the love they want isn’t even real. In some ways, that translates to “you are not as good as”, because these people want the height of height, and some of the relationships they hold will simply not measure up, but that’s not what it’s written to say.
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*) Term changed after this post was originally written. Fractions of old terms may exist elsewhere in the post. Read about term updates.
**) Narcissists are Young Souls left alone to survive and they're doing their best. Their emotional age ranges from 3 to 17 -year old. The younger, the more severe the narcissism.
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