The importance of truth

Ego (I) is a person’s idea of who they are. It can be either false or truthful. Vos (you) is a person’s idea of any given person they are thinking about.

Politeness is a practice of protecting a person’s idea of themselves, and often to build them a false ego. I would advise you to change politeness into kindness if you are able, and be truthful, but as kind about it as possible without being false or fake.

Political Correctness is begging for trouble

It is more than OK for people to not like each other. What we must do, in terms of being fair toward each other, is to let each other be the way we are, even when we don’t like each other – but not necessarily pretend that we do. There’s a reason for that.

Currently, we are very likely to avoid conflict because we don’t want to appear judgemental or unlikeable to people. However, when you pretend to be a casual friend to someone who you truly disapprove of, they think you approve of them, but don’t downright love them. I believe Nazi Germany could have been avoided if people hadn’t been too polite to tell Hitler he was full of it before Hitler became Hitler. This might have not swayed him, but it might have swayed a few on-lookers to think that whoever was agreeing with him was insane, and with enough people thinking Hitler’s supporters are insane, his support might have not been so explosive.

Sometimes we count on people to call bullshit when everyone is too polite to do so themselves.

“But you’re beautiful”

Imagine a Victorian woman marveling at the skills and brain of her magnificent husband or lover. Eventually, she sighs: “You are so amazing, and I’ve never even been out of this town! You must think I am useless!” Startled, the husband hurries to reassure her that she is so beautiful, nothing else truly matters.

That’s how most women still seem to think.

And that’s why women are still in the 0.75 dollar category… and paid more than many of them is worth. Anyyyway.

White lies

White lies are the stuff of evil. Their purpose is to protect and build a person’s false ego for them. Stop doing that. No need to ATTACK anyone, just stop LYING to them.

Denial of praise

The opposite of telling people white lies is refusing to admire them or praise them because they’re “too superior already”. This creates people who are solely responsible for their own praise. This means they have to constantly try harder to be good enough, as nobody gives them the confirmation they’ve done enough – out of jealousy and fear of not being enough.

These people have a lowered self-worth, due to the fact that everyone pretends they don’t care. Eventually, they’ll believe it and ignore you the same way they are ignored. If that happens, don’t be surprised they walk out of your life without even thinking twice it would have an effect on you one way or the other.

Don’t be surprised if people believe the lies you want them to believe.

Stop lying in order to be a nice person

LIES are NEVER the answer.

No matter how minor, lies, in order to be a good person or a nice person, are never the way to be a good, nice person. A good, nice person has a backbone. They are honest about their feelings, but they are not unnecessarily mean about their delivery. (Sometimes, tho..!)

Even an honest person angers at times. A good person is judgemental of bad people. But a well-intentioned person can do a lot of damage by lying to others about ANYTHING.

Don’t lie with good intent or to keep friends on false grounds

It’s better you lie with a bad intent than lie with good intent. It creates fewer long-term problems. A lie with a good intent creates terrifying situations…

This is what happens when well-intentioned people convince you that you are good at what you do.

It is not nice, it is CRUEL. If you want to know the story behind this woman, there’s a movie of it.

Kindness can lead to falseness

When people surrounding you believe that you are going after something you are not really going after… Let’s say you’re 17 and you feel pressured to thrive for a University degree to appease your parents, while you truly don’t want to go… Your lack of drive may be interpreted as insecurity rather than reluctance. If you’re not boldly declaring what it is that you want to do in life, there are people who will believe you don’t know what you want, when in fact, you know it clearly, but just feel embarrassed of saying so.

Your goals may be too big to mention, so your ambition becomes a bit embarrasing, right? Therefore, instead of declaring you want to be the biggest rock star in the world, you kinda go: “yeah… Uni degree… Maybe. Yeah. Would probably be good…” When you truly want to say: “I don’t WANT TO go to Uni, there’s nothing there for me. I want to become a rock star and fuck a lot of girls doing it!” It takes a special character and special parents for someone to declare that to anyone, really.

Then again, sometimes declaring your intent to the wrong people can have negative consequences. If you declare your intent to the Normal Person* they’ll interpret it as your intent to… piss them off, just so they’d stop you from doing it. Declare your intent wisely, but do declare it. If you are ambitious, always identify and avoid the Normal Person*. (More on them in the next post.)

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