F. Bonding Target: Better terms for your sexual orientation
In the following, I’ll change the way you see your sexual orientation. To be fair, these are not normally regarded as a sexual orientation but more of a lifestyle choice. I strongly believe they are actually akin to a natural, inborn sexual orientation.
Because of the polygamous leanings in our true sexuality, the way our sexual orientation manifests changes in a culture that expects monogamy to be the norm. Heterosexual lifestyle hides bisexuality in both men and women quite often, and, what we generally speaking consider somewhat bizarre behavior is often actual heterosexuality.
What we really are can be divided to
Polygynandrist male and female (MM+FF+) (Bisexual or biromantic men and women)
Polygynist male and female (MFF+) (Bisexual or biromantic women and a heterosexual/heteroromantic man)
Polyandrous male and female (FMM+) (Bisexual or biromantic men and a heterosexual/heteroromantic woman)
Monogamous male and female (MF) (Heterosexual heteroromantic man and woman)
Just quickly; “romantic” means enjoying the feeling of “being in love” with someone, with or without sexual feelings attached.
The Normal Person* (Switches between anything based on what they feel pressured into; “how do I get love easiest/how do I be accepted in this group”. (the Savants* may adjust under demands but they feel like they’re doing it to avoid confrontation rather than to gain true love, and also, they feel strongly that they have a “right” way of existing even if they allow their behavior to be altered. The Normal Person* simply care about finding the group alpha, everyone else submits as their natural mode of existing.) Will also switch from submissive to dominant at any given time.)
Now, ladies and gentlemen, let’s discuss the fact that you’re very unlikely a natural monogamist. I say this because most people are not. If you are, still read this, because you want to know how to spot a non-monogamist near you, especially if you’re single and looking. I suspect monogamists exist, it’s just that… I don’t think I’ve ever met one. (Yep. If you are, you’re a unicorn!)
You are what you enjoy
Everyone can probably see themselves in every scenario below, up to a point. In SOME setting. Many of us have tried a few different settings, and either liked it or not. What you are looking for, is a setting you can imagine enjoying. Just because you know what it would be like to, for instance, be sexually attracted to X, doesn’t count, unless you ENJOY the feeling, too, and feel you could gladly linger in that feeling forever if you could.
Now, in the following, what do you enjoy as an idea. Note that truly, you are just looking for a gender ratio that you feel is enjoyable to you, the descriptions may be a little crude, as there are SO MANY POSSIBLE nuances to attach to these, and I’m going with the most typical settings here as this is only an introductory post. So feel free to argue: “Yeah, that sounds nice EXCEPT…” The only thing that matters is how many men, how many women?
Different options described
Polygynandrist male and female (MM+FF+)
I’ll handle these as a pair or a group.
Polygynandrists feel at least equally deep platonic attraction to both genders. This means they have equally deep friendships to both genders. They value the opinion and humanity of both genders equally. To the rest of us, it is a bit of a philosophical challenge, not a biological truth. The rest of us value either men or women over the other gender whether we like to admit it or not.
Polygynandrist men and women are quite well aligned and think alike about most things. They don’t get into these confusing situations as other orientations do, because the people they’re compatible with think alike. If they choose a monogamous lifestyle, they face the challenges of monogamy from the same perspective regardless of their sex. They understand each other because their sexual orientation is the same as male and female. The whole sexual morality suits and troubles polygynandrist men and women the same way.
If they do monogamy, the way they think about it is to divide a group of friends who love one another into pairs of two and live accordingly. If they do non-monogamy, they turn into equal polyamory easily. (Both the male and the female sleeps with other people under the same rules.) Neither one feels like something is being taken away from them or that they are pressured into sex with people they don’t want sex with.
Having said that, MOST PEOPLE, when not IN DEEPLY LOVE, fit quite easily into the polygynandrist category, even if they are NOT actually polygynandrous. It is a great default category for most people.
The sexual orientation, thus
Sexually, polygynandrists can be either openly bi, gay, or straight. Whichever their actual orientation is, it depends on the individual and can come out before actually falling truly in love yet. They can just as easily slip to homosexuality as heterosexuality, depending on who they happen to fall in love with first. It is important to know, that for a polygynandrist, you may easily assign a homosexual label on yourself if you happen to fall truly in love with a member of your own gender. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re authentically gay, but rather, that you’re very likely bi. To a polygynandrist, either gay or straight go rather easily, but bisexuality is true more often than not, particularly among female polygynandrists, that are more open to bisexuality than men are, due to cultural norms.
Polygynist men and women (aka, the stereotypical men and women)
Most women belong to this category.
The stereotype of a cheating man and a cheated woman comes from this category of people. However, cheating is a result of a natural polyalignment that monogamous culture doesn’t recognize nor respect.
The polygynist men and women feel quite naturally, that women are the superior gender, and men exist to serve women. Polygynist men also feel somewhat powerless in their attempt to resist feminine charms. The polygynist women are always offended if a man doesn’t automatically agree to be their inferior OR their equal, in some cases. A polygynist will never see a man as a woman’s superior. The cheating man doesn’t do it out of disrespect or lack of love for their current partner, but out of an inability to resist a superior being, a woman, who needs his attention and love. A polygynist man feels he is the servant of the female gender.
Polygynist women have very little tolerance to men around them in the first place. They feel good only in a high-estrogen environment. In fact, if there is more than one man around, they want to get rid of the others, until there’s just one. They want one rooster in the hen-house and another man is intolerable unless an adolescent. Two men in the group will tear the group into two. They tolerate another grown man only as a subservient to the women and the one man who they’ve accepted as their equal, if at all.
If you are the man who wants to be the king of this Hill, you’re not a bad guy, you’re simply a polygynist, born to love women.
Polyandrist men and polygynist women are the ones who create the “battle of the sexes”.
More about polygynyPolyandrist men and women (most men)
Most men belong to this category.
Polyandrist men want to share a girl with their best friends
Polyandrist men typically feel like they are true chauvinist pigs for the way they feel toward women. Polyandrous women, in their turn, feel like sluts and whores – not for the way the men treat them, but for the way society views their natural behavior. A polyandrist woman loves to have sex with men, but feel constantly judged for their natural desires by the polygynist men and women, who don’t understand her attitude toward men and sexuality at all.
Historically, polyandrist women have been treated as witches, mentally ill, victims of male desires, loose women, and whores. It seems that anyone who WANTS TO have sex with men has been treated as a lunatic at one time or another in history. Polyandrist women have never been in fashion but have always been the thorn in the side of a sexually driven male, who has tried their best to suppress their desires for polyandrist women by all kinds of religious practices, suppressing both natural polyandrist male and female sexual behavior.
Polyandry is, by today’s standard, both chauvinistic, patriarchal, and anti-feminist
Polyandrist men and women are quite sexual in a pornographic sort of way. As polyandrists are fully geared toward male sexual gratification, and most porn is created for men, both polyandrist men and women quite like the scenarios in pornographic movies (whether they actually like the somewhat clinical acting done by polygynist women is another matter entirely). What was supposed to be shown usually works quite well for polyandrists of both genders, more or less.
Other words that might describe polyandrists is “patriarchal”. Polyandrist women typically love to submit to men sexually. As a partner, they may regard themselves as a submissive or an equal, depending on the relationship dynamic, but they are not very typically dominant, at least not as a standard or permanent role in a relationship. Polyandrist men love to love “a slut” (as a sexual kink term). Sometimes, atypically, the polyandrist woman may also be the queen to a bunch of drones, even, depending on the flavor of any specific natural soup goes for. The queen-scenario is, by my gut-feeling, more likely a polygynist female dominating polyandrist or even polygynist men in some experimental mashup.
Now, everything that a male-dominant polyandrist naturally is, is NOT the accepted thing to be at this day and age. Everything about polyandrist alignment is, currently, a big no-no. Polyandry is a seemingly very anti-feminist way of being, and yet, ironically, first-wave feminism is clearly of polyandrist origin. Currently, not woke, people, not woke. Polyandrists are not bad people, again, it’s just that their natural alignment is toward loving men and respecting men, and catering to the needs of men. Female-dominant polyandry is probably quite OK by the woke.
Men respect polyandrist women, however
Despite the fact polyandrist women love to submit to their men sexually, polyandrist men respect the strong sexuality of a polyandrist woman and her typical masculine take on things. She can be both uber-feminine and a bit of a tomboy at the same time, or “scrub up nicely” for special occasions even if normally, she’d be quite the ladette.
A polyandrist woman has a deep need to be what men like, and therefore, she’s usually very much in the know of what behaviors men like and don’t like. She may also very easily be mistaken for a lesbian because she can be a little boyish in that way.
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*) Term changed after this post was originally written. Fractions of old terms may exist elsewhere in the post. Read about term updates.
**) Narcissists are Young Souls left alone to survive and they're doing their best. Their emotional age ranges from 3 to 17 -year old. The younger, the more severe the narcissism.
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