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Messages from Sebastyne as chosen by the Universe.

 

 

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F. Bonding Target: Better terms for your sexual orientation

In the following, I’ll change the way you see your sexual orientation. To be fair, these are not normally regarded as a sexual orientation but more of a lifestyle choice. I strongly believe they are actually akin to a natural, inborn sexual orientation.

Because of the polygamous leanings in our true sexuality, the way our sexual orientation manifests changes in a culture that expects monogamy to be the norm. Heterosexual lifestyle hides bisexuality in both men and women quite often, and, what we generally speaking consider somewhat bizarre behavior is often actual heterosexuality.

What we really are can be divided to

Polygynandrist male and female (MM+FF+) (Bisexual or biromantic men and women)

Polygynist male and female (MFF+) (Bisexual or biromantic women and a heterosexual/heteroromantic man)

Polyandrous male and female (FMM+) (Bisexual or biromantic men and a heterosexual/heteroromantic woman)

Monogamous male and female (MF) (Heterosexual heteroromantic man and woman)

Just quickly; “romantic” means enjoying the feeling of “being in love” with someone, with or without sexual feelings attached.

The Normal Person* (Switches between anything based on what they feel pressured into; “how do I get love easiest/how do I be accepted in this group”. (the Savants* may adjust under demands but they feel like they’re doing it to avoid confrontation rather than to gain true love, and also, they feel strongly that they have a “right” way of existing even if they allow their behavior to be altered. The Normal Person* simply care about finding the group alpha, everyone else submits as their natural mode of existing.) Will also switch from submissive to dominant at any given time.)

Now, ladies and gentlemen, let’s discuss the fact that you’re very unlikely a natural monogamist. I say this because most people are not. If you are, still read this, because you want to know how to spot a non-monogamist near you, especially if you’re single and looking. I suspect monogamists exist, it’s just that… I don’t think I’ve ever met one. (Yep. If you are, you’re a unicorn!)

You are what you enjoy

Everyone can probably see themselves in every scenario below, up to a point. In SOME setting. Many of us have tried a few different settings, and either liked it or not. What you are looking for, is a setting you can imagine enjoying. Just because you know what it would be like to, for instance, be sexually attracted to X, doesn’t count, unless you ENJOY the feeling, too, and feel you could gladly linger in that feeling forever if you could.

Now, in the following, what do you enjoy as an idea. Note that truly, you are just looking for a gender ratio that you feel is enjoyable to you, the descriptions may be a little crude, as there are SO MANY POSSIBLE nuances to attach to these, and I’m going with the most typical settings here as this is only an introductory post. So feel free to argue: “Yeah, that sounds nice EXCEPT…” The only thing that matters is how many men, how many women?

Different options described

Polygynandrist male and female (MM+FF+)

I’ll handle these as a pair or a group.

Polygynandrists feel at least equally deep platonic attraction to both genders. This means they have equally deep friendships to both genders. They value the opinion and humanity of both genders equally. To the rest of us, it is a bit of a philosophical challenge, not a biological truth. The rest of us value either men or women over the other gender whether we like to admit it or not.

Polygynandrist men and women are quite well aligned and think alike about most things. They don’t get into these confusing situations as other orientations do, because the people they’re compatible with think alike. If they choose a monogamous lifestyle, they face the challenges of monogamy from the same perspective regardless of their sex. They understand each other because their sexual orientation is the same as male and female. The whole sexual morality suits and troubles polygynandrist men and women the same way.

If they do monogamy, the way they think about it is to divide a group of friends who love one another into pairs of two and live accordingly. If they do non-monogamy, they turn into equal polyamory easily. (Both the male and the female sleeps with other people under the same rules.) Neither one feels like something is being taken away from them or that they are pressured into sex with people they don’t want sex with.

Having said that, MOST PEOPLE, when not IN DEEPLY LOVE, fit quite easily into the polygynandrist category, even if they are NOT actually polygynandrous. It is a great default category for most people.

The sexual orientation, thus

Sexually, polygynandrists can be either openly bi, gay, or straight. Whichever their actual orientation is, it depends on the individual and can come out before actually falling truly in love yet. They can just as easily slip to homosexuality as heterosexuality, depending on who they happen to fall in love with first. It is important to know, that for a polygynandrist, you may easily assign a homosexual label on yourself if you happen to fall truly in love with a member of your own gender. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re authentically gay, but rather, that you’re very likely bi. To a polygynandrist, either gay or straight go rather easily, but bisexuality is true more often than not, particularly among female polygynandrists, that are more open to bisexuality than men are, due to cultural norms.

Polygynist men and women (aka, the stereotypical men and women)

Most women belong to this category.

The stereotype of a cheating man and a cheated woman comes from this category of people. However, cheating is a result of a natural polyalignment that monogamous culture doesn’t recognize nor respect.

The polygynist men and women feel quite naturally, that women are the superior gender, and men exist to serve women. Polygynist men also feel somewhat powerless in their attempt to resist feminine charms. The polygynist women are always offended if a man doesn’t automatically agree to be their inferior OR their equal, in some cases. A polygynist will never see a man as a woman’s superior. The cheating man doesn’t do it out of disrespect or lack of love for their current partner, but out of an inability to resist a superior being, a woman, who needs his attention and love. A polygynist man feels he is the servant of the female gender.

Polygynist women have very little tolerance to men around them in the first place. They feel good only in a high-estrogen environment. In fact, if there is more than one man around, they want to get rid of the others, until there’s just one. They want one rooster in the hen-house and another man is intolerable unless an adolescent. Two men in the group will tear the group into two. They tolerate another grown man only as a subservient to the women and the one man who they’ve accepted as their equal, if at all.

If you are the man who wants to be the king of this Hill, you’re not a bad guy, you’re simply a polygynist, born to love women.

Polyandrist men and polygynist women are the ones who create the “battle of the sexes”.

More about polygyny

The monogamy-oppressed sexual orientation of the polygynist

Now, sexual orientation wise, the polygynist female may regard themselves as either a bisexual, lesbian, or heterosexual, initially, before finding their most authentic mix of people. (You know the people who make you question your sexuality.) Because lesbianism is widely considered sexy, and something that shouldn’t put men off, but to be an aphrodisiac, polygynist women rarely feel the need to hide their bisexual orientations when dating. They CAN, tho, if they want a monogamous marriage to impress their girlfriends with.

Polygynous women, therefore, are rather tricky. They always choose what their friends might appreciate. If they will gain points from their female friends by being bi, they’ll be bi. If they gain points by turning fully gay, gay it is. Should they figure their most beloved female friend(s) appreciates a woman who sleeps around with men, they’ll sleep around with a ton of men, without an emotional attachment to these men.

(Polygynous women looking to impress their girlfriends by sleeping around is not to be confused with a polyandrist woman. A polyandrist woman genuinely loves men and gives two hoots what women think of it. Still, she is often the idol of polygynist women, particularly of tyrant type, who thinks she’s “brave” and thus shows other women how to “control men”. This is when the polygynist woman thinks that she has to sleep with a ton of men to be admired by her friend. However, a polyandrist woman doesn’t find sleeping around with men admirable, per se, but the natural way of being. Nothing to gasp about.)

“What do women want” is the most important question to a polygynist

The key to understanding polygynist women is that they ALWAYS choose what they feel “women” will admire them for. Whatever that is. They’d do wisely to limit the “women” they want to impress to other polygynists only. Impressing polygynandrists or polyandrists makes no sense in the long term. Polygynandrists want to include both genders, and that won’t satisfy the polygynist. The polyandrist wants to eliminate all but one woman out of the group, so the attempt to impress a polyandrist woman will fall empty. Wasted effort. Still, many the Normal Person*-type polygynist women are hell-bent on impressing the Savants*-type polyandrist woman, who seems “above”, and “unattainable” to them, because, well, they’re certainly unattainable for them, as a polygynist tyrant woman, to an anarchist polyandrist woman is the water of a ducks back – terribly annoying but profoundly uninteresting.

A polygynist MAY feel fine about worshiping another woman as a superior being. In this case, they assume the superior female (anarchist polyandrist, often) will teach them her tricks. As far as impressing men goes, nobody is as naturally good at it than a polyandrist woman. However, what impresses a polyandrist man is utterly repugnant to a polygynist woman, so they should well drop that plan. They’ll never impress a polyandrist man, as they won’t do what impresses a polyandrist man. Therefore, a polyandrist woman’s tricks are wasted on a polygynist man.

Then again, polygynists are just as likely to worship their ONE chosen male as the superior of all men, not truly their own superior, but the superior of all men. They give favor to that man, but don’t necessarily submit to him – depending on the sexual flavor of their choice.

A polygynist man is not a trans woman

It is important for a polygynist man to realize that despite their need to bond with women, they are not a woman. Polygynist men can easily feel the need to dress like a woman if they want to feel non-threatening in the group. Still, many polygynist men are very masculine but the kind of “metrosexual”, which a lot of women like. But the key here is that a polygynist man would do almost anything to be accepted as a woman’s friend, not their foe, including, not limited to cutting off his dick, to make the point loud and clear.

On that note, a polyandrist man can sometimes feel the need to be regarded beautiful, and therefore, they too can actually want to dress in women’s clothing in order to attract attention and love from other men. So careful here.

Polyandrist men and women (most men)

Most men belong to this category.

Polyandrist men want to share a girl with their best friends

Polyandrist men typically feel like they are true chauvinist pigs for the way they feel toward women. Polyandrous women, in their turn, feel like sluts and whores – not for the way the men treat them, but for the way society views their natural behavior. A polyandrist woman loves to have sex with men, but feel constantly judged for their natural desires by the polygynist men and women, who don’t understand her attitude toward men and sexuality at all.

Historically, polyandrist women have been treated as witches, mentally ill, victims of male desires, loose women, and whores. It seems that anyone who WANTS TO have sex with men has been treated as a lunatic at one time or another in history. Polyandrist women have never been in fashion but have always been the thorn in the side of a sexually driven male, who has tried their best to suppress their desires for polyandrist women by all kinds of religious practices, suppressing both natural polyandrist male and female sexual behavior.

Polyandry is, by today’s standard, both chauvinistic, patriarchal, and anti-feminist

Polyandrist men and women are quite sexual in a pornographic sort of way. As polyandrists are fully geared toward male sexual gratification, and most porn is created for men, both polyandrist men and women quite like the scenarios in pornographic movies (whether they actually like the somewhat clinical acting done by polygynist women is another matter entirely). What was supposed to be shown usually works quite well for polyandrists of both genders, more or less.

Other words that might describe polyandrists is “patriarchal”. Polyandrist women typically love to submit to men sexually. As a partner, they may regard themselves as a submissive or an equal, depending on the relationship dynamic, but they are not very typically dominant, at least not as a standard or permanent role in a relationship. Polyandrist men love to love “a slut” (as a sexual kink term). Sometimes, atypically, the polyandrist woman may also be the queen to a bunch of drones, even, depending on the flavor of any specific natural soup goes for. The queen-scenario is, by my gut-feeling, more likely a polygynist female dominating polyandrist or even polygynist men in some experimental mashup.

Now, everything that a male-dominant polyandrist naturally is, is NOT the accepted thing to be at this day and age. Everything about polyandrist alignment is, currently, a big no-no. Polyandry is a seemingly very anti-feminist way of being, and yet, ironically, first-wave feminism is clearly of polyandrist origin. Currently, not woke, people, not woke. Polyandrists are not bad people, again, it’s just that their natural alignment is toward loving men and respecting men, and catering to the needs of men. Female-dominant polyandry is probably quite OK by the woke.

Men respect polyandrist women, however

Despite the fact polyandrist women love to submit to their men sexually, polyandrist men respect the strong sexuality of a polyandrist woman and her typical masculine take on things. She can be both uber-feminine and a bit of a tomboy at the same time, or “scrub up nicely” for special occasions even if normally, she’d be quite the ladette.

A polyandrist woman has a deep need to be what men like, and therefore, she’s usually very much in the know of what behaviors men like and don’t like. She may also very easily be mistaken for a lesbian because she can be a little boyish in that way.

More about polyandry

Let’s just talk about the taboo polyandry for a bit

This is not fear-based submission to men, but LOVE-based submission to men. The polyandrist is the opposite of the polygynist, and therefore, everything that the majority of women say about what men should do or should not do is the polygynist woman trying to turn a polyandrist man into a polygynist.

This is due to the monogamous ideal, which creates the situation that not all polygynist women can marry the man they want, so they’ll try and “coach” the polyandrist man to act a bit more polygynist. Also, if a polyandrist man tries to coach women on what men want, they’ll try and coach them into a natural polyandrist woman for the same reasons. They, too, can’t all marry the one girl they all love, so they’ll try to coach what they regard as the second class female – the polygynist women – to be somewhat tolerable to them.

The polyandrist woman will take men’s side by default. They enjoy the company of men over the company of women. The polyandrist men feel the same way about men as the polygynist women feel about men; they want a sanctuary of men only, with ONE female that they all love and cherish. This female is never their superior, but sometimes their equal.

Pedestal for one woman

Just like polygynist women, polyandrist men can tolerate several submissive members of the opposite sex in their company but they’ll accept only a very few women as their equal – and only one at a time.

This need to elevate one woman over the others makes a polyandrist man think they’re a heterosexual monogamist. They’re not. They are often only a permission away from turning bisexual, in many cases. They CAN BE heterosexual, but they truly love the company and closeness of another man… And I’d say it’s RARE they’re completely straight. This permission should come from a very high-level polyandrist woman or from their own best male friends. What a polyandrist man fears is losing the love and respect of their favorite people over bisexual tendencies.

The need to rescue and protect the naive whore

The polygynists feel sorry for the polyandrist woman because men “treat her like a sex object”. To a polyandrist woman, it sounds ridiculous or jealousy to take issue about men’s sexual attention. It makes no sense to them, other than the other women must be jealous. They feel SUPERB about men loving them sexually and feel like rubbish when women try to “slut-shame” them for it, as to them, that’s CLUELESS (so you don’t know how to please a guy, learn!), jealous (just because you can’t get their love and respect, don’t take it out on me!), and disrespectful of another woman’s sexual freedom (what I do with my body is none of your god-damned business. Not fucking anyone’s husbands here!).

To label polyandry as a solely sexual thing would be selling it short, however. Although it is the EASIEST level to connect with sapiosexual men are HIGHLY moral and philosophical, and the polyandrist woman understands their logic and meaning easily. They adhere to the same code of honor as men do, and it is simply a question of subculture what it is. A biker gang code of ethics is vastly different to, say, the code of ethics of the police force, for instance, but both have one, and a polyandrist woman is naturally attuned to it.

Feminism

In the pressure of feminism, the polyandrists have learned to value women in a different way than polyandrist women value them. In the polygynist way of thinking, women are the superior, and the men are the servant. Therefore, a polyandrist man will, MORE EASILY THAN THE POLYGYNIST MAN, give or risk their lives in the service of the polygynist women, which is… not ideal. The polygynist man often feels unworthy of women, but a polyandrist man feels “ok, one more sacrifice and they should finally be happy, yes?” But no.

Although polyandrist men protect polygynist women, easily, and, to be fair, threatens them, too, for the lack of authentic respect for polygynist women. Still, a polyandrist man feels rarely respected for assaulting women by other men but are treated more as cowards or losers. Therefore, the polyandrist man is copping it from all ends and when they feel love for polyandrist women, they get shamed for “confusing lust for love” or “taking the easy way out”.

Therefore, the sexual assaults against women are more than likely committed by frustrated and disrespected polyandrist men who have nothing (no respect) to lose but wish to make a polygynist woman into a sexually submissive polyandrist woman… And get it wrong. To be fair, the outcome of sexually shaming and the attempt to make a polyandrist man to submit to women, such as his mother, will create the need in him to reclaim his position as the dominant, which leads to sexual assaults on other women. The attempt to “weed it out of him” is the very thing that creates it. (So, effectively, you reap what you sew. And yes, victim-blaming, blah blah.)

Transsexuality

Polyandrist women should be careful not to label themselves as trans men too easily, as they are not. They are what used to be called “a tom boy”, not a trans man. Still, they’re like a sexually supercharged man in a woman’s body, and that should not be confused with actually BEING a man. They can also be this easy-going masculine girl, the absolute dream girl for many, many polyandrist men, who DO love masculine traits in all people – including women.

To gain TRUE respect from a polyandrist man, you have to be quite masculine, but you do weird them out when they find that you’re former female, so while they easily treat you as one of their own when you’re a chick who is very blokey, they may turn cold when they find out you’ve had a sex-change operation, so do think twice how you go about it. (Having a vagina isn’t “deceitful”, but having a fake penis can feel very much that way.)

Most polyandrist men are easily put at ease by being forthright about what you are; by acting like a guy but making a point you’re a girl is aokay with them, more than OK, but trying to pass yourself off as a man can make them take a step back.

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