What an Introvert needs to know about Extroverts
When you get to know new people, there is something you, as an introvert, need to know about Extroverts. This knowledge is not that important in reverse, as an Extrovert will never TRULY understand why this is important to an Introvert, and thus, they can just override your opinion in the matter unless you make sure they do not.
An Extrovert doesn’t truly have an internal dialogue in their brain. This is actually not scientific information to my knowledge these are not connected as scientific facts, yet, as in not proven, I don’t think, but I am 100% convinced, that this girl on this video is describing how an extrovert thinks.
What we know about extroverts is that they need an external stimulus to feel… Entertained. That makes them seek social interaction a lot more, and focus on things like cooking, cleaning, decorating, and fashion etc. (Not necessarily those things, but “something to do”, externally. Physical actions.)
We also know that being social is not a direct result of being an introvert or an extrovert, but introverts need time to themselves and to their thoughts, much more than extroverts do. An Introvert is known for having to mull over their social interactions, and they have a tendency of wallowing in past events that didn’t go too well. That’s how we process things and learn from them.
Extroverts would argue that it is waste of effort to wallow in the past, but they tend not to learn from their mistakes, and they keep making fools out of themselves and not be bothered by it – but Introverts observe in horror… Yes, yes we do. We quietly judge.
Just noise to fill up the void
Now… Extroverts hate the situation when somebody is constantly talking and filling the air with empty chit-chat. We cannot tolerate it for long. Drives us freaking mental. The same is true for an extrovert in reverse; they can’t tolerate the silence for long. They can do silence as a social experiment, but they cannot tolerate being silent or being “shut out” of a community or group.
Extroverts will talk about anything and need you to keep talking about anything at all, to the point that if you’re not talking to them, they’ll start picking a fight over nothing in order to keep you talking. They need that feed into their brain in order to keep thinking, as they don’t really think without talking.
And that is fucking scary to an Introvert, who is mostly curious about people’s INTERNAL THOUGHTS when they meet someone new, it’s just that they assume those thoughts are somehow meaningful. If all that an Extrovert thinks is verbalized the moment it occurs to them (and you’ve been around these people) it tells a lot about their IQ, doesn’t it?
To be fair, because they think that a person who isn’t talking cannot be thinking, they think that a silent introvert is stupid.
Interestingly enough I am not sure all extroverts believe a person who doesn’t talk much could write a lot, either. Writing, which is, obviously, an introvert favorite past time along with reading.
Why is this important
As an introvert, you MUST know that extroverts think themselves superiors to introverts, and well, vice versa. An extrovert cannot fully love and respect an introvert, any more than an introvert can love or respect an extrovert. Although traditionally, psychologists match introverts to extroverts, “to complement each other’s lacks”, I say this is a disastrous combination. Neither truly loves the other, and introvert CERTAINLY doesn’t love an extrovert, without IMAGINING that there’s something more going on in there than what meets the eye especially if that extrovert is smart.
A Smart Extrovert
To be fair, it is nearly impossible for an Introvert to imagine what a smart Extrovert might be like. It’s not like they’re easy to find. When your brain doesn’t really function on empty, a smart Extrovert is more than likely very popular person, as in a beautiful woman, or a handsome man. This is a requirement because they have to talk in order to think, therefore, they need to be surrounded by people who help them bounce things off constantly.
What this also means, is that their smarts is often geared toward manipulating people, rather than something actually meaningful. An extrovert will have trouble understanding what a smart introvert does with their brain, and extroverts are often deathly scared of intelligent people because they don’t understand what they’d do other than manipulate and control others if they’re smart enough to do it.
So. How do you recognize an Extrovert
You can, of course, just ask them if they’re an Extrovert, too. They’re usually proud to declare that they are. However, extroverts are not necessarily very introspective, and they wouldn’t necessarily take a personality test to find out. However, there’s one question you can try if you can’t tell otherwise (and it is not necessarily obvious).
Trick them with this. Sound excited to bond: “Are you one of those people who need to pick a fight if they can’t get people to talk to them, too?” An introvert will say “no” and ask what it is that you mean… And will appreciate hearing you were making sure they’re not like that. An extrovert will, obviously, fall into the trap and say they are. Keep the conversation going for a while, ask a few more questions before you ditch that person. We don’t want them tweaking to how they fuck up their dates. 😉
How do you dump an Extrovert
Getting rid of an Extrovert can be the most difficult task you’ll ever face once they’ve bonded. They think they’re doing you a favor being your friend or lover, so convincing them to give up on you is fucking near impossible.
KNOW that they pick a fight in order to get stimulus for their own empty brain. They are asking questions that they know irritate you. They don’t really want answers, they just want the noise that comes out of your mouth. They don’t think you’re serious when you speak, anyway. What you say is white noise, and what they want to know is what triggers to use to make you behave in a certain way. That information helps you in reacting to them in a way that drives the message home.
I repeat: KNOW they are there only in the need for entertainment because they’re bored. You are entertainment to them. You’re simple entertainment. A personal reality television, nothing more. React.
Probe for their thoughts
If you don’t believe me when I say those people are vacuous as a petrol station that closed in the 40’s, probe for their thoughts. Try and find out something about their personality. Something interesting.
First of all, they hate that.
Second of all, you hate the fact there’s NOTHING THERE. You can spend the rest of your days to find an actual human thought in there, and you’ll come out empty. There’s nothing there for you to find.
And you’ll hate that.
Enjoy the fact you don’t have to mind your words with them
There’s only one good thing about an extrovert, and it’s the fact that they don’t get offended easily. They don’t really hear your words, so you can say whatever you like and they’re like “Oooooooo..! Noise! Shiney!”
They get offended if you are “deliberately nasty”, but they will rarely notice you being actually deliberately nasty. They put a lot of it down to “playing a game”. So you can start mapping out the things that make them actually angry and use them as a social experiment. When you no longer care whether they stay or go, you might as well have your fun with them for as long as you can.
They more than likely hate sexual remarks about them. They don’t like being a sexual object to anyone. Introverts tend to dig it. If they turn out liking it… Probably an introvert. Good result. They hate it when you talk about sex in general. They tend not to understand it much.
Enjoy their pain. Find your inner sadist and enjoy the fact they don’t cope with being the abused very well after potentially abusing you for years. Find the signs of topics that make them visibly uncomfortable and stick to them. Sex, spiritual matters, paranormal events, true romance, philosophy, morals, religion, everything deep.
Don’t bother fighting an Extrovert
The more you try to bond with them the way you’d bond with an actual friend, the more attacked they feel. The more you try to appease them and make them feel safe, the more they disrespect you. They’ll think you’re weak. If you attack them, like Introvert attack – remind them of morals, decency, being a good person, appealing to their conscience and morals, the more LOVED they feel, I kid you not. “You care ABOUT THEM”, not yourself. They see this attack as you caring ABOUT THEM somehow, rather than trying to make life tolerable for you, so don’t do this.
Avoid open fights with Extroverts. As the saying goes: Never wrestle with a pig, you both get dirty and the pig likes it. This is an Introvert noting that an Extrovert actually likes the fight because nothing really matters to them. Everything is a game to them.
Introverts hate arguing (but can learn)
Introverts hate arguing, therefore, first they avoid it with everything they’ve got until they can take it no more. Then, they go over the top to make it clear that they are better at it than anyone an extrovert will know – if “being better” means more stingy, more bitey, and more deadly than what an extrovert would ever be. An introvert aims to end the relationship when they fight, an extrovert means to make it interesting. However, extroverts think that introverts don’t know how to argue because they’re so nasty when they get started. “No need to be cruel” complained Amber Heard when Johnny Depp raised his voice at her for the first time. (He’s like “What?! You’ve been nothing but cruel the whole time.” But Amber thinks Johnny is playing a game… Because bAmbie is pretty.
An extrovert picks a fight when they want to make a friend. If you know this about a person, you’ll be less shocked when it happens, and can take it as an invitation to banter rather than take it seriously. Extroverts are never serious about anything, except that they don’t want sex. Therefore, when an Extrovert picks a fight, don’t take it too seriously if you don’t hate that person already. Just reply. It can be fun, and they know you’re not in a dire need of a friend if you instantly act apologetic or hurt by what they said. “Piss off”1 is the correct answer to an Extrovert you don’t want to make friends with.
Introverts tend to bring the peace back when the Extrovert picks a fight. They try to say: “Look, we don’t have to be enemies even if we don’t like each other. Plenty of space in this world for us both.” An extrovert hears this as: “I am superior to you and I want you to submit to my higher morals and self-importance before you crawl back under whatever rock you live under.” (Which is basically what an Introvert means, but isn’t that serious about it, as they don’t think anyone would care THAT MUCH about what they think about some random person.)
Not replying to talk is an introvert’s way of saying: “You bore me”
Also what goes unnoticed by an Extrovert is that an Introvert doesn’t reply to them when they’re bored. The extrovert thinks that the introvert doesn’t KNOW HOW to reply. Remember they don’t care about the context or the topic, (unless is actually interesting to an introvert) and they want you to keep talking to them, so you can be friends. They don’t realize that to an Introvert, not replying is like the biggest brush off you can give to a person, it’s the ultimate “fuck you”. There are very few things an Introvert does at a higher level of disrespect than NOT RESPOND, except actually voice out: Fuck off/piss off… which is the point an Extrovert thinks “ooo, they’re warming up!” (This is why extroverts get tangled up with introverts who fucking hate them – leads to domestic violence etc.)
When an introvert is silent while an extrovert is trying to talk to them, they are saying: “Change the topic, so I can be bothered engaging”, or “go away, you’re boring and vacuous as a human being”, or “can’t you see I’m busy right now?”
This is often when an extrovert starts picking a fight, rather than just piss off. You can tell them to piss off, but you have to understand what they are actually trying to do before you get your tonality right. The way Introverts say it assuming an extrovert is actually trying to pick a fight, the tonality comes out wrong. An extrovert is trying to make friends. When you realize they’re here to make friends by talking fucking nonsense at you and picking a fight, your ‘piss off’ will come out with the sufficient “(we’ll be friends) in your dreams” -tone.
Introverts tease each other to make friends, too, BUT
One more thing. When introverts pick a fight to further a bond, they do it slightly differently.
When someone picks a fight with you out of nowhere, they’re always interested in you as a friend, right? However, an Introvert starts the fight more delicately, and usually WAAAAY after they’ve already created a rapport with this person by stating that they are loved and respected and admired. An Extrovert says those things AFTER they fight.
An introvert male, who is learned to pick a fight with women to make sure they know they’re interested usually over-shoots. They’re just a little too nasty and over-the-top from the get-go, and if the girl they’re talking to is also an introvert, she’ll back off real quick when this happens. “Sorry. Fucking sorry I thought you are handsome… I’ll vanish, sorry.”
When an extrovert woman gets over-shot, she gets angry. “Don’t talk to me like that! Who do you think you are?!” Then, they make the man submit and yada yada yada.
Introverts banter only after they are certain their friends know they are loved and respected. If they do it from the start, they make sure there’s a twinkle in their eye and they make sure there’s no way a stranger would take them seriously in that situation. Extroverts don’t give those clues when they approach a stranger for a friend-making fight, they just start bitching to you about something completely inane.
They assume you know that because it’s a small matter, you know they’re not serious, but because an introvert doesn’t do that, they have learned to take small matters fucking seriously, and avoid giving anyone any reason to complain or to be upset about anything they do. Like the neighbor who is complaining about your tree’s leaves falling on their ground is probably attempting to make a friend. If you dutifully rake the leaves off their side, they’ll decide to play with you until you realize they weren’t serious at all, and this can lead to a fucking heated mess that will last decades and wind up in the introvert burning their neighbor’s house down.
Introverts and Extroverts relax and make friends differently
An introvert avoids getting on other’s nerves a lot. They don’t want to get into fights over infinitely small matters that someone might take an issue with. However, introverts tend to take an issue over stupidly small matters, and they want their neighbors to keep to their side of the fence a lot. Good fences make good neighbors is an Introvert -attitude.
However, because introverts DO take issue in small matters, extroverts assume these are friend-making attempts when introverts bring them up. Therefore, when an introvert complains about something actually serious to them, an extrovert decides “oooo! they want a friend, I’ll bite!” and they’ll pick the fight.
An introvert lets you be for as long as you don’t get on their nerves. They’ll make friends by striking up a conversation with someone they find interesting. Two introvert lovers SHOULD wind up in bed the first night, and two introverts can essentially move in together the first night by their instinct, but an extrovert can’t make sudden choices like that.
An extrovert starts picking a fight once you’ve piqued their interest. An introverted man MAY HAVE LEARNED THIS about women and starts picking a fight with women because they think all women are like that – because extroversion is more common in women than men. You have to know all that.
“go as far away from me as it takes so I no longer can see you” ↩
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**) Narcissists are Young Souls left alone to survive and they're doing their best. Their emotional age ranges from 3 to 17 -year old. The younger, the more severe the narcissism.
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