the Old Souls* breakup attempt that turns into a proposal in the Young Soul* mind

The background

the Young Soul* = Feels life is a role-playing exercise, where each person assumes a role and plays that through.
the Old Souls* = Feels life is to be explored and felt, and that partners should be each other’s intellectual equals.

Okay. The base setting is as follows: the Young Soul* feel that good relationships are a synergy between people each of whom are good at something different. Each brings into the table a new skill, right. A don’t have is combined with a have, right?

the Old Souls* feel that personal and intimate relationships happen between people who are equal to each other intellectually speaking. This contains solid basic skills that they are not worried about (cooking, cleaning) but what draws them together are mutual interests and high-level curiosity toward something specific. Same values and so forth.

Male the Old Souls*, note

the Old Souls* are always trying to understand different types of people, and the Old Souls* men are more than likely to have spend an incredible amount of time trying to understand women. As the Young Soul* -category is mostly female, a Old Souls* man can be quite accustomed to the ways of the Young Soul* female, but a Old Souls* female is more than likely completely clueless to all the Young Soul* -behavior.

Therefore, if you are a Old Souls* male, you are more than possibly very skilled in reading the “woman’s intent” in this situation, but you’ve learned to associate it with “the way women think”, rather than how “extroverts” or the Young Soul* think. If you are like this, you are probably VERY careful not to give a woman you don’t want a reason to think you don’t want them. This will backfire if the woman you want is a Old Souls* because she’ll take your breakup/rejection attempt seriously and leave without asking further questions as a sign of respect to you and your worth as a man: she’ll leave you to a woman you love more than her because she loves you and believes you deserve the best life possible.

Further, if you’re a Old Souls* male and DO NOT understand this, you might be one of the men who have actually gotten well accustomed to the Old Souls* women, and have never even bothered with female drama for long enough to gain an instinct over how this works for the Young Soul* women.

“Look, it’s not you, it’s me”

the Old Souls*, when they attempt to break off a relationship in order to find someone more interesting and more intellectually compatible to partner up with, they often take on the “blame” for the breakup for themselves in order to save the Young Soul*’s feelings. They use phrases like “it’s not you, it’s me”, “it’s just not the right time for me”, “I don’t feel we are truly compatible.”

Interestingly enough, the Young Soul* will always interpret a breakup attempt as a demand for a commitment. They read a polite attempt to break up as a “Look, you are not paying enough attention to me, therefore, I’m starting to think you don’t want to take this seriously, see where your lack of commitment is leading this… I’m leaving if you don’t step up.”

This is not what a Old Souls* means, however. What they would say if they spoke plainly is something along the lines of “Look… I’m bored. You give me absolutely no intellectual stimulus. You, as a person, are about as interesting as watching the paint dry. I want to find someone who is sexier and more fun to be with. I don’t really like you that much, but I’m sure someone else will find you attractive. You’re not a terrible person, by any means, you’re just deathly boring and I don’t think you have any capacity to change into something I’d find more exciting to be with.”

You want me to prove how serious I am! Well, this is interesting!

To be perfectly honest, I am not sure how the Young Soul* actually break up. I don’t know if they do. I think they might just vanish like they just collect their belongings and move out. They may completely cut you out without a warning. I know they do that, but do they have a mature way of breaking up, I don’t know. It seems that if they TALK about it before they leave, it’s not really a breakup but an ultimatum: If you don’t shape up, I’ll back my belongings and leave once I’ve had enough.

So when the Old Souls* tries to break up, they mean it’s going to be immediate. They’ve already made up their minds about how they want things to go. They don’t want the relationship to go on, and they’re only letting their partner know this is happening now. However, the Young Soul* doesn’t see it that way. To them, a breakup talk is a challenge: “Now, we’re talking serious!”

“No, I can change!”

If the Old Souls* cannot break off the relationship straight away for some reason, like living together, or worse, the Young Soul* living in their house, they’ll find it very difficult to convince the Young Soul* it’s time for them to go. When the Young Soul* starts asking for instructions on what can they do to preserve the relationship, the Old Souls* starts explaining to them how it’s not possible. The more they explain, the more the Young Soul* thinks they’re REALLY serious, they REALLY want to see a HUGE commitment, and that in the end of it all, the reward is going to be of an equal measure.

The Old Souls* is trying to say that there’s nothing for the Young Soul* to look for or to expect, but the Young Soul* thinks the more they’re “hiding” the reward, the bigger the engagement surprise is going to be. The more the Old Souls* is certain they won’t be disappointed.

The Old Souls* fails to deliver on this “promise”

The Old Souls* isn’t promising anything, right. In fact, they’re telling this person there’s nothing there. No feelings. They’re leaving. If the Young Soul* doesn’t receive this message, the Old Souls* will easily just submit to their fate of still being together with this person they are not the slightest bit interested in, and can even be pressured to marrying the Young Soul*, but they will not be happy about it. They ASSUME the Young Soul* knows what the deal is, there’s no love here, but they still insist on marriage “I WANT MY SURPRISE!” and the Old Souls* eventually may succumb to the depressing fate that they are bound to marry this person whether they like it or not, and they’ll have to bury whatever dreams of happiness they once had.

The Young Soul* will be bitterly disappointed, of course, because whatever they were envisioning in their heads isn’t happening, and the Old Souls* will just grow old and boring – probably alcoholic and depressed – as time goes on. They feel their spirit is killed – whether male or female the Old Souls*, they feel trapped and bitterly disappointed about what life offered them.

the Young Soul* want commitment, the Old Souls* want intrigue

the Old Souls* are the people who fantasize about passionate love (making) and romance in the tropical island, spending the rest of their days in a lazy haze of love… The Young Soul* just want someone to make a home with. To them, of course, there’s nothing “just” about it, that is their ultimate dream that the Old Souls* rarely truly provide for them, as their heart is not really in it the same way as the Young Soul*’. They are often buried in their work to compensate for the intellectual and sexual dullness of their marriage, and many the Old Souls* drown themselves into porn and some other preoccupation that keeps them afloat on their way to the grave looking for something to hang onto.

An the Old Souls* will always disappoint the Young Soul*, but a Old Souls* will see the boredom coming a mile away.

If there’s a massive fight over the breakup

If things go in the direction where the Old Souls* isn’t backing off from their resolve to divorce, they will more than likely start listing all the things that are wrong/missing in the Young Soul*. Remember the Young Soul* bond through have/lack which means that when the Old Souls* loses his or her nerve, they will start “LISTEN, you’re NOTHING like me. You’re not smart. You’re not beautiful/handsome. You’re not fit. I mean look at you! Look at me! Fuck! How did I ever even FUCK YOU is a miracle!”

To the Young Soul*, this sounds like an awkward way of saying: “Look, YOU NEED ME. You are nothing special, I am. I am special, therefore, YOU NEED ME. You can’t leave me, because I am special and you are not. You have no right to leave me, and you know it.”

This is not what a Old Souls* means, however. How long it will take for this to sink in, is probably a question of how fast the Old Souls* will break all communication and how many the Old Souls* friends the Young Soul* has telling them that they really have to let this go.

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