The #1 Relationship Strategy to Live By

The finer details on this blog go into people’s differences, philosophy, morals, fine-tuning your relationship goals, and the like. THIS post is a general rule of thumb that everyone should follow, regardless of what kind of relationship they want and what relationship is in question, family, friends, casual lovers, true love…

Know what you want and know you can get it (Bonus)

Focus on WHAT you want, not WHO you want it with. What emotion are you after? What kind of kicks do you want out of each relationship? Fun? Comfort? Security? What’s the emotion you want to experience? Even if you were consciously aware that you want a rich guy, what is it that you seek in a rich guy? Adventure? Danger? Competition with other women? Or security? Someone to take care of you? An easy life? What?

Don’t settle for something less, unless you GENUINELY find something better still by chance. 7 billion people in this world. There’s enough for you.

The #1 Relationship Strategy To Live By: Only ever meet people halfway

If you remember one thing out of this post, remember this: Meet people halfway, but ONLY halfway.

Don’t chase. Don’t run. Don’t be passive. Learn to reject people you don’t feel love toward. (Doesn’t go without saying, any of those things.)

Why no chasing: If you chase people down the aisle, even when a true love of yours, you’ll be doing all the heavy lifting in the relationship. They’ll be a passive participant in your relationship. Either they will never have to confess to you that they never loved you in the first place, or they’ll never have to confess that they always did. They’ll be wrapped up in their own world and in their own emotional space, you’re doing all the work, and your relationship will always remain shallow or even completely one-sided… And there’s nobody to blame but you.

Why no running: If you play hard to get and pretend that you’re not interested, or run in fear, don’t be surprised that an even-tempered adjusted individual doesn’t bother chasing you for a relationship. Running is done either as an attempt to trigger someone’s ego, or as a genuine fear response. Try to curb the fear by simply giving yourself a pep-talk, but it’s understandable it doesn’t always work. However, if you want true love, you don’t want a relationship that is built on your partners need to get constant validation for their attractiveness.

Don’t passively accept “proposals”: As in, learn to reject offers that don’t feel good to you. While casual relationships are sometimes OK, but never for friendship, only for sex, here, never passively accept a permanent relationship offer if you don’t truly love that person or spending time with them. Casual sex accepted passively is sometimes fine, and works for people who both know it’s all it is, but friendship built on the passive acceptance that “we are friends” can lead to a myriad of problems I won’t get into here.

More to the true romantic love scope; passively accepting proposals from people who you’re not really into or even from people who you love will make you a passenger in your own life and you will only get what someone is willing to actively offer you. This is RARELY true love. Sometimes it is, but rarely. It takes a lot of courage to lasso one’s true love in for a relationship – but even if t was possible, it’s not the best practice as the passive party will remain locked inside their own emotions and will never truly experience the challenge of vulnerability, and thus, the true feeling of love.

The practicality of meeting people halfway, but ONLY halfway

Make it clear you’re interested. Make it easy for someone you truly are fascinated by to come to you. If they don’t bite, inform them that your doors will always be open (or for as long as you’re willing to wait), and they’re more than free to take you up on your offer or leave it if they so choose.

If someone interesting shows you attention and interest, make sure you won’t give the impression that you’re not interested, if you are so used to being chased you don’t know how to make an effort. LEARN TO MAKE AN EFFORT. In all practicality, try and balance your communication to the same level as they are giving you. A touch more, if you want to build rather than suffocate. Ghosting is the practice of reducing the attention you give someone, but there are people who think that’ll build intrigue. IT shouldn’t build intrigue in a healthy individual, but alert them to the fact that they are being either being dominated and disrespected or gently being made aware they’ve been rejected, and they should be put off by that.

Relationships are given and take – and attention is a give, too. How much attention do you show a person for the attention given back to you? You are supposed to start slow, and “test the waters”, but it should build up over time until you can no longer keep count who has given more (this week). If they give you one for five, you know you’re not being met halfway, whatever the reason for that may be. Although I wouldn’t say “cut contact and flip a bird at them”, this is a point where you need to rethink your strategy if this person means a lot to you – and you know the chances of getting hurt are high if you choose to continue.

Nonetheless, you need to make them meet you halfway, and that can become a tricky pursuit as well, and actually tax you more than do all the chasing, but you still must choose between cutting your losses and letting them go or LOVINGLY strategize with the best of them to bring that person out of their shell (or entitlement issues). I would never waste time here unless you were CERTAIN your connection with them is special regardless of their behavior.

Bonus 2: Be patient and forgiving (up to a point)

This, although it sounds important, isn’t as important than only meeting people halfway. It’s just that if you lack patience or forgiveness you may easily shoot yourself in the leg by rejecting someone truly worthy because they’re not getting a small detail right. Then again, YOU DECIDE what is a small, important detail. What matters to other people matters to them, but you are under no obligation to declare such things as good looks, intelligence, romantic or sexual chemistry, or wealth as something that doesn’t matter TO YOU.

One of the signs of true love hitting is that you’re initially both infatuated and irritated by them. You see their potential, but small things bug you. They use the wrong words. They’re not functioning right. You feel like kicking them into operation so you’ll get your perfect partner out of them. The wise thing to do is to go past little snares (for now) and keep digging into what is that makes your chemistry special.

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