Confusing getting attention for love

When a child cries, his or her mother comes running. When a child does something that he or she isn’t supposed to, they get attention from mom or dad. Therefore; be difficult, make a fuss, be annoying, and get attention from mom and dad. Now, a lot of people get stuck in this development phase and equate receiving attention to receiving love. They don’t connect love to the moment when they are having a wonderful conversation with someone, the connection of the mind, or even sexual connection, but they feel loved only when someone rewards their annoying behavior with attention.

Some people also have realized, correctly, that only people who love you truly tolerate you being annoying. They may even enjoy your genuinely annoying habits, so they test relationships by being deliberately annoying. However, to get optimal results, you should, as an adult, limit “being annoying” to as far as what you are genuinely annoying just being your annoying self. Simply stop trying to NOT ANNOY other others by being yourself. (For me personally, I refrain from talking about these very topics with people who I know are not interested in spiritual psychology and my theories, I don’t want to get on their noses by being a besser-wisser of all things human. I should just annoy them in that way to clear the space for those people who’d appreciate this annoying trait of mine.)

Now, “annoying” is easy to do. Anyone can be annoying if they want to be. The reason why people don’t do it, is because it is… well, annoying, and nobody wants to be around annoying people. The reason why people do it, is because they learned the only way their parents showed interest in them was when they were being bratty. These people need to nurture themselves into health, as they cannot expect their parents to do so.

Entertainment

An upgrade to a similar problem is the need to be constantly entertaining. These people know that positive attention and negative attention are two different things, and if you’re simply annoying, people will want to get rid of you relatively fast. Unfortunately, being entertaining can become something you use to cover up your fear that you are not enough by simply being in the company and blending in at times. A person like this may feel that they are not truly pulling their weight and doing their duty unless they’re constantly entertaining others.

Sex

Although in romantic relationships sex is a given, sex can become a problematic part of a relationship. If you still connect love to be something your mom and dad would give you, you believe true love cannot be sexual, and everyone who “tries to fuck you” cannot love you for real. That is obviously not the right way to think of adult romantic relationships like marriage.

Sexuality can also become a form of “entertainment”, particularly for heterosexual women who feel the only reason a man would spend time with you is to have sex with you – an assumption that is often true, but that can lead to a belief that you “have to” have sex in order to keep getting attention from men, and that this attention is end all, be all.

True love and connection

True love and connection come through “meeting of the minds” understanding each other on a higher level. This will, in romantic relationships contain the understanding of sexual kinks and desires, but in platonic relationships contain maybe a theoretical understanding of sexual and romantic matters without the inclusion of them in the practical level, but that’s completely optional of course.

Man

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