Love freely so you attract the right and repel the wrong people.

Love from a person you don’t like doesn’t feel good. It feels icky and suffocating. Intrusive and entitled, presumptuous. Therefore, when people had to get married for families, money, politics, and convenience, there was a high chance only one of the spouses was in love – not always the male. (I swear the root of all evil is conventional monogamous marriage.) Now, to make his wife’s life bearable when divorce wasn’t an option, men learned to curb their feelings for women in general. Men learned, by and large, that their love isn’t welcome, it’s the wrong kind, or it destroys marriages.

On the other hand, women have had to do the same for different reasons. They’ve fallen in love with the wrong men or other women. Women have learned, by and large, that their love is dangerous and destroys marriages and divides families. Also, women have learned that men turn violent if you love them too much – and this is because unwanted love is icky and people want to violently fight against the love that isn’t wanted, escape from it, or scream bloody murder in its presence. People get love raped all the time.

But we rarely are told that love, which is the most wonderful feeling and honestly the best reason to keep on breathing, can also be the worst, the most destructive, disgusting feeling to be the object of unwanted love. Instead, we keep telling each other that love conquers all and all you need is love, and being loved is the best thing in the world and even imply that a person who is loving is a good person without a question as if love was a skill that only a few were capable of feeling. Many people excuse a lot of bad, selfish qualities in themselves because “they are loving” and, thus, as good as Jesus Christ himself.

We don’t have to marry people we don’t love anymore.

In most parts of the world, love marriage is the norm. In increasing numbers, countries and states allow gay marriage, too, which is a good thing. (Next step; those of us who want love to flow freely must reinstate polygamous marriages of all three types. Alternatively, we must dissolve the entire concept of marriage, but that is unlikely to happen. We all love that ritual.) As we no longer need to marry people we don’t love, we must learn to love without dictating rules on our love so that people who don’t love you can avoid you – your passion feels icky to those who don’t love you back, but there’s another reason:

When you feel loved by a person you love, it is intoxicating. It is WILD. It will make your head spin, and everything they say about love will make sense to you. It will make you turn away from one person and turn to another, and you swim in the field of love, which I am SURE is the feeling recreational drugs try to emulate, by and large. And love, when allowed to flow freely, will find its way to whom it belongs. The people who don’t want it will chase you away, but those who share the same love and sexual energy as you, will be naturally drawn to you.

Allow your love to flow freely, and you’ll find who loves you back. And STOP STOP STOP fooling yourself with the idea that people will always love you back – luckily, they won’t. This means love is real and not just a chemical reaction to another desperate soul. Let the people who don’t love you back go – the beauty of this is that you don’t need to say much to anyone; you can make them feel like they want to get away from you if your love isn’t welcome. Let them go. Find the ones who are drawn to you – your darkness; we all have a dark side, being one of the most fascinating things about you.

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