Love is not a justification for abuse and bad behavior

The Normal Person* have one bad trait above others. The Savants* have their own, but this is the Normal Person*’s failure: They think love justifies abusive behavior. The logic here goes, that “but I love you”, as in “but you know I love you, therefore, why do you care if I beat you up/verbally abuse you/torture you?” To them, abuse is only condemnable if it is done by someone who doesn’t love them. This is based on the idea that pain is pleasurable between lovers, and pain caused to you by a person that loves you is thus, pleasurable. What the Normal Person* fail to realize that whilst pain between lovers or BFF’s is often pleasurable, the fact you love someone doesn’t make the love mutual – or the same level of love. While someone might love you up to a point, they may well not love you so much they’d gladly suffer in your hands. Even if someone calls you their best friend or girl/boyfriend, is no guarantee that the love is equally strong both ways.

the Savants* have long learned this lesson, mainly being the object of unrequited love. While they are being loved and abused by people who don’t understand the love is one-sided, they’ve learned from the first-hand experience that while you may THINK you are in the right by doing certain things, it doesn’t mean it’s true at all, and thus the Savants* have grown overly sensitive and careful as to how they conduct their love affairs. Consent is the king is a Savants* idea, that they sometimes take too far, too, but better that than the opposite. (I mean that sometimes the Savants* are too respectful and careful with others, making everyone uncomfortable, but they’re erring on the side of caution, which is the wise thing to do.)

Love thus, is not a green light to do whatever the fuck you feel is right to another person. It should, rather, be a red light. If you love someone, your first priority should be their well-being, not the kicks you’re going to get from abusing them. There is no saying whether this person gets their kicks the same way or not, and even if they’d like the same stuff, doesn’t automatically mean they want it from you. This is somewhat of an obvious, or it should be, but clearly, is not. Every adult must accept the fact that not everybody loves them, and gain the wisdom to know when they do and when they don’t.

MIND YOU, women are more likely love-offenders; believers that since they love you, they have free hands with you. Men do this, too, but being physically stronger, their “do as you will” mode is much more physically dangerous than the actions of a woman, who uses different methods to inflict torture and pain on their loved ones. Women are more likely offenders here because they haven’t been corrected properly. An abusive mother is not so much a gasp-horror, but something we still sneer at, the same way we find an abusive wife somewhat amusing. It’s all fine and dandy on the outside, but being the victim of a woman whose actions fail to amuse you… Different story. “But she’s your mother, she gave you life,” should no longer be an excuse or a reason to forgive someone and force the victim of abuse back into the fold.

the Normal Person* won’t stop until they’re made to stop. Goes for both genders… And frankly, whatever another person is doing to you that you hate them doing, it’s up to you to put an end to it… But also, don’t let others tell you what you should or should not like or dislike. We’re all different, and if you enjoy it, and you love the person doing it, it’s your business, the same way as BDSM is between two lovers who are into it, and it’s up to nobody to say that whips and chains are not a thing lovers do… Because some lovers do!

Voice your own opinion on things. Learn to say no. Even if the Normal Person* SHOULD NOT abuse you when they love you won’t mean they will never do it. Of course they will. It’s up to the victim/target to stand up and say no… or to ask for help. And even if the abuser is a female, doesn’t make the abuse any less significant.

And yet… As love conquers all, let’s make it conquer “a no”… See how that works out and if it’s love at all in the end.

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