Why men shouldn’t take her best friends’ word for gospel

Imagine you’re in love with someone. Head over heels. Irreversibly. You think she feels the same way about you – but it would simply be too effin’ good to be true. So you decide to ask around a bit, namely, her friends should probably be able to give you the truth… What she wants, if she’s interested… Do you have a snowball’s chance in Hell with this girl?

Let me just tell you this. I had a BFF once. By all accounts, we were attached by the hip. She was my best friend, for sure, but… It wasn’t like I was going to stay that way forever. I always thought we’d grow apart, she’d get married, I’d get married and what we’d have left would be fond memories of the times we were scouring bars looking for our Misters Right. That was until she made friends with the love of my life, KNOWING I’d quietly have an issue with it, FLAUNTING it in my face that he confided in her, not me. I suspected he wanted information about me, but I wasn’t sure. I suspected that what she was telling him wasn’t exactly said with love and care for me and my best.

I forced myself to trust my best friend with the love of my life, and that was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. Either she was too clueless to know what he wanted to hear, or she deliberately chose the worst things possible to tell him… You know… “Go on, she’ll fuck anybody.” (I’m the pickiest woman alive, but I did sleep with a lot of very sexy men, sure, but hardly “anybody”, and even so, I would have dropped every single one of them for him. Nobody compared, and SHE KNEW THIS damned well. She told me the worst things about him, told him the worst things about me. Why? God knows but won’t tell.)

I don’t think this was an isolated case. Some women think this is… Get this: “Sexy”. They build tension, right? They stir the pot, play on people’s egos and feelings.

But when it’s the question of your True Emotion Mirror, it’s far from being funny. When your friend doesn’t know how far is fun, and where to draw the fucking line, it’s not funny. When she doesn’t know the limits of how far to push the envelope, it’s not funny. Sure, done right, yeah, probably fun. Won’t do permanent damage but can even speed matters along, but not always. And even then, when girls stir the pot, you better ignore a good fucken chunk of it and just go with your own instincts.

When you’re terrified about every word that comes out of your mouth because you’re about to lose the love of your life, the last thing you need is some “funny” outsider, who thinks you’re so hot you don’t care if you lose one or two creating drama.

There might also be jealousy, many women are bisexual or lesbian without even realizing it, and a man, to them, is an outsider. Therefore, they may tell themselves that they are doing this for X, when it’s actually for Y. Many women feel men are intruders and there to spoil the party. You can’t trust what a woman like that says to you about her friend.

Naturally polyandrous women, whether they realize they are one or not, don’t truly bond with other women at all. Their polygynous or polygynandrous friends wouldn’t have a natural instinct on how a polyandrous woman operates, thinks, or feels, or why. The same thing is true in reverse. I wouldn’t have had the foggiest clue about how polygynous women think a decade ago. Not a clue. They’re nothing like me, and I’ve dedicated 10 years out of my life to nothing but trying to understand how we all got our wires so crossed… And people who haven’t done the same, STILL don’t have a clue. I may be the only person in this world with this level of understanding of all those perspectives and motivations.

And will I forgive my friend? Not even after Hell freezes over. I’ll learn to enjoy those games when played in good jest, I’m sure of it, but I’ll never forgive her for her cruelty.

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