You hate them, don’t want them, but let them in anyway.

If you picked this post randomly, the advice you’re seeking is the opposite of what you’re doing: let them in emotionally. Don’t fight their feelings; let them love you, but don’t think that means you must love them back. Let them pour their love on you and do whatever they feel they need to do to prove to you that their love is better stuff than anyone else’s. Take their gifts, their money, be happy about what you’re happy about and don’t put on airs for them, but let them express their love for you as much as they like.

Once they feel they’ve been given a real chance to love you and to prove to you, they’re better at love than anyone else. However, if you still feel lukewarm about them, they will give up much faster than imagining you’re rejecting them only because you prefer a rich guy or the sexy blonde simply for your ego.

If you’re married, give them a real chance to win you over without cheating on your spouse. Tell them, even what the situation is, if you can. Tell this suitor of yours, and emotionally lower your defenses; just let them love you as much and for as long as they can entertain the illusion that you’re secretly in love with them.

You’re currently probably focused on how unfair it is to accept love you know can never return. Forget about that. Just accept it. It’s yours anyway – you created it in them, and they need to give it back; that’s the law of nature.

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