One Point Gay and other precise sexual orientations
I feel there is a need to specify sexual orientations and how they work.
A person will connect/bond with another person through 3 primary emotions; platonic love, romantic love, and sexual attraction.
(This post is not about)
We could discuss sexual love, too, but that would be a combination of romantic love and sexual attraction – although a useful expression, in this context we must keep the elements of it separated.
This post is NOT about any form of polyamory or polygamy. This is to point out that when I say “toward one person”, don’t confuse that to be “as opposed to being able to feel one of these feelings toward some of your partners”, or that it would require monogamy to make this assessment. The important part is that you are able to feel these feelings toward ONE individual simultaneously, regardless of how many OTHER individuals you can feel these feelings for. This also doesn’t mean you will have to feel all forms of feelings toward ALL members of the opposite or same gender to qualify – should go without saying.
We’re all at least one-point heterosexual/homosexual
This is sort of unnecessary definition as it applies to all of us… Presumably. But it’s going to help with the point I’m making.
A one-point heterosexual or homosexual is only able to feel ONE of these 3 emotions at one time toward an individual of the opposite or the same gender respectively. This means that although they can feel platonic love, romantic love, OR sexual attraction toward the same person of the opposite or the same gender individual, they can ONLY feel ONE of these emotions at one time.
A one-point heterosexual or homosexual IS NOT ABLE TO feel both romantic love AND sexual attraction toward the same person simultaneously. If the emotion switches from one to the other, the other turns off. This is why it is IMPOSSIBLE to make love to a one-point homosexual if you’re the opposite gender, or one-point heterosexual if you are the same gender, but fucking them is possible. It is also possible for being in love with them without the sexual attraction involved, and it’s also possible to simply love them as a friend or like you’d love a child, optionally.
A one-point person would likely react violently or in a hostile manner to the expectation or attempt to force them into a romantically colored sexual act with them.
A 3-point heterosexual/homosexual
A 3-point heterosexual will feel all of these feelings toward an individual of the opposite gender simultaneously; platonic love, romantic love, AND sexual attraction. They may turn these feelings on and off too, but they ARE able to feel it for an individual at once.
The 3 point homosexual will feel the same toward a member of the same gender, but never an opposite gender individual.
1 point switch, how about static?
Now… There might be people who do not switch their 1 point homo/heterosexual position at all. They have one mode to connect by and that’s it. Or two, but lacking one. Then there MIGHT BE those who do but have only that one point to be allocated to either homo- or straight relationships as a permanent setting. Again, I’ll throw myself under the microscope.
I’m a 3 point heterosexual, 1 point homosexual. NORMALLY I connect to women on the platonic level only. I have NEVER so far felt romantic, let alone sexual feelings toward a woman, except in very much theoretically, for research purposes. (Women don’t interest me enough to think about them in a sexual context for any other reason but research.)
I was, thus, about to claim that I am FULLY heterosexual, and claim there is only the platonic point available in me, but no, upon a closer introspection, I am actually one point homosexual. This means that if I completely erase all feelings of love and friendship toward a woman, I CAN perform with a woman – THEORETICALLY at least. Like I don’t think I’d ever be tempted to try, but I can at least find a scenario or two where it might work, UNDER THE CONDITIONS that there is NO love connection to the woman during sex. Like 0… preferably fuelled by hate rather than love.
I am quite confident in saying we all have a platonic love switch unless we’re completely traumatized and need a lot of time to heal, but a healthy human being should be able to feel at least platonic love toward other people regardless of gender/sex. I am, however, less confident in saying that we are all able to switch off emotions and perform in the opposite sexual orientation if needed… But it is likely we can.
3 point bisexual and sexual orientation label
Then, there are the people who are able to feel all three emotions toward one person at the same time regardless of their gender (but depending on their personality and all that stuff that makes a person fall in love in the first place). These people, to me, are the only true bisexuals, while the other two modalities are not really, but should label themselves either gay or straight for accuracy. (It’s nobody’s business of course but your partners, what you come out as, but if the truth is of importance.)
I do believe that one-pointers sometimes label themselves either bisexual or straight in order to be accepted, but the label may not be entirely accurate or truthful. I also believe that homosexuals sometimes label themselves bisexual for full disclosure if they know they can perform with the opposite gender if required.
Then again, it is CONFUSING when we try to understand how everybody feels and how that compares. It has been more than acceptable to assume that if you are ABLE TO perform with the opposite gender, that means you’re straight or bi, but in truth, I believe the orientation DOES require the feelings of love, respect, trust, and desire and LONGING for a connection with that gender to be there, not only the ABILITY to perform sexually if under pressure to do so. Bisexuals also believe, wholly, that your sexual orientation is who you’ve actually HAD sex with before. A mere choice. However, true sexual orientation exists WELL before you become sexually active.
The way a relationship develops with a one-point heterosexual, 3 point homosexual
Let’s assume the male in the relationship is a 3-point heterosexual, and the female is a 1-point heterosexual, 3 point homosexual. This is a VERY common and identifiable setting, mind you.
She is, first of all, attracted to women, and feels female gender is superior in every way. HE, as a heterosexual, kind of agrees. She calls the shots in that relationship. She makes the demands. She may be fully capable of feeling romantic love toward him, platonic companionship, yes, but when sex happens, she turns cold and “performs” a lot. She’s working hard to prove her own sexual prowess to him, rather than connect to him emotionally and romantically during sex.
When he is complaining about the lack of sexual love she shows her, she throws a fit, blames him, dodges the conversation, and ends the argument somehow. “We’re not doing this again”.
He may feel he has to bribe her into sexual acts, but even then, they remain distant and feel like a performance. He may attempt to make her relax, offer massages and the kind, romance her, but this only irritates her further. She feels under pressure to feel sexually aroused by him, whereas he feels continually romantically rejected and lacking.
As a 3-point heterosexual female…
I can also shed some light to what happens when a 1-point heterosexual male who is used to 1 point heterosexual women tries to woo a girl’s pants off.
He starts with the discussion of how he’ll make you cum hard, he’ll perform oral, he’s going to “fuck you hard”. He ASSUMES that making a woman cum during sex is difficult and requires a stud to do it. He’ll promise to last 3 hours, (because as a homosexual, he finds it hard to cum with a female, and fully understands how difficult it is for a lesbian woman to cum with a man). To him, the sexual act with a woman is somewhat of a proof of masculinity, he performs, he’s dominating, and a 3-point heterosexual woman feels JUST AS FORCED to admire his sexuality and to be turned on by him without actually feeling so because all that emotional connection is woefully lacking… But most heterosexual women would just be… Turned off by this guy wondering whatever women see in his insufferable bravado, and it’s unlikely his promises of the greatest sexual experience of her life is going to actually lead to sex with an actual heterosexual woman.
What compatible 3-pointers feel for each other
EVEN during casual sex, two 3-pointers will make love, in a way. It might not be “oh I love you forever”, but all the feelings that ARE there, are still there during the act. There’s no hiding, bravado, need to perform – or it’s minimal. The act is natural and feels good. It’s fun and has NOTHING to do with other people. There is no external pressure to do so. (First sexual experiences excluded, and first times with a new True Emotion Mirror excluded, which can be… Scary regardless, but in a good way… They may fear expressing too much emotion, and the partner’s reaction to those emotions might be… Amused, the danger of which can be a little nervewrecking. Showing vulnerability especially after having been in non-compatible or lacking sexual relationships for a long time can be scary for anyone…)
Still, 3-pointers will feel a lot of emotion during sex EVEN WHEN they are not entirely in love with each other. They certainly won’t STOP those emotions from being there in order to perform. The act is either liberating, fun, beautiful, or healing, even with a casual partner.
This part is about polygamy, however:
I don’t want to make this too analytical, but, there are people who will discover their bisexual side only upon feeling secure in the knowledge that at least ONE SPECIAL member of their preferred gender will not fall out of love with them or think less of them IF they confess to or act on their homosexual or heterosexual desires.
I feel, personally, that most men (who are interested in me?) are only permission away from turning 3-point bisexual, permission I gladly grant. In fact, I do find homo/bisexual men very attractive, similar to that very recognizable straight guy who loves lesbian/bisexual women.
I’ll just throw that out there, as a polyandrist 3-point heterosexual female, I know full well how important it is to give your partners the permission to be who they are, and the compatible ones will just fall RIGHT INTO what fulfills everyone’s desires and needs perfectly.
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