Is he or she “good enough” for you is an entirely wrong question in love

Everybody deserves love, right? You start drilling down to it, you’ll find everybody deserves love. Or nobody does, whichever way you want to see it. If you start rejecting people based on “deserve”, you’ll have a hard time doing it. The question is entirely wrong. It also makes you a target of people who think they deserve YOUR love, but you think there’s a few options between their status and that of yours before they can claim they deserve you more than anybody else does… Being a monogamist and all. It gets harder to reject people on “deserve” if you turn poly.

The correct question is “do you want to”?

It doesn’t matter who deserves what. We all do, none of us does. You don’t owe love to anybody, but if you still think in terms of “deserve”, you’re still stuck. No. Think “do I want to?” When you have that question in mind, people don’t get into this: “You know you want to, you just don’t think I deserve it…” And you’re like… What the hell is happening, why can’t they just accept a no?! Because you are making excuses. You SOUND LIKE you’re making excuses. “I find you very attractive, but you know, you’re a bit unimpressive to my friends and parents!” Now, what does that matter? It doesn’t, not to you, not to them, but they’ve got their question right and you’ve got it wrong because you feel it’s rude to say that you just don’t want to… Not with them.

Do you want to, like a slice of pizza?

There’s these wrong wants, too, like: “You know I want to go to University, but I just don’t want to.” As in, “I want to please my parents but I just don’t want to go to University to do it.” “I want to want to make you happy, but I just don’t want to make myself unhappy making YOU happy.” “I wish I could give you what you want but I just don’t want to do that to myself.”

The question here is, “do you want to like it was a slice of pizza, a chunk of chocolate from a gourmet chocolate factory, untouched fluffy snow, or a pool full of red jelly?”

Change that question in your mind and your whole life will change. Promise. (Apply to everything possible.)

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