True Emotion Mirror or a simple romantic predator?
When people fall in truly love, they experience certain strong feelings, not surprisingly. There are certain patterns that I’ll go into a little later. These patterns can be mimicked to an extent, to induce a similar emotional reaction in a person who is truly not in love with the manipulator and will never be, but who might think they are madly in love with them. Some of these triggers are used widely in pickup strategies, and I believe a ton of them don’t know why they actually work… At least to a point.
A lot of these tactics are based on underlying insecurities in a person, which provides a good ground to work on because when True Emotion Mirrors meet, they cause a natural sense of insecurity by simply existing – on multiple levels even in people who are usually extremely self-confident and competent in relationships.
What are True Emotion Mirrors, first of all?
True Emotion Mirrors are each other’s perfect counterparts on the core level. Their TRUE selves are 100% compatible. In the state of true honesty, when both stop pretending, they match perfectly. However, before their meeting, they’ve been interacting with countless and countless Trail Companions*, which means everyone who is NOT a True Emotion Mirror or a Precious Soulmate. Trail Companions* are called that because your value system matches only partially to most people. Sometimes to a large degree, sometimes not at all, but never 100%, that is reserved for True Emotion Mirrors (romantic lovers) and Precious Soulmates (friends and family).
Trail Companions* are always in the process of trying to make someone who isn’t compatible with them more compatible, whether as a friend, family member, or a romantic partner. This creates an inauthentic expression onto a person, and it is safe to say that EVERYONE suffers from this to a degree. You’d have to live in a bit of a utopia to never be so close to a Trail Companion* that they didn’t have an effect on you.
However, if your parents were Precious Soulmates, you will be a lot closer to your authentic self, than someone who was raised by Trail Companions*. (And no, genetics have very little influence as to what type your parents are to you.) By the time you start dating, the members of your preferred gender start influencing who they expect you to be in relation to them. And their opinions, from the perspective of your authentic core do not necessarily make good reading for you… But read you will because you want to get laid and married.
Meeting a True Emotion Mirror
When two people, who are 100% perfectly compatible to each other on the core level meet, the meeting can be rather dramatic. It varies a lot, but initially, there’s a deep sense of belonging together, a feeling of finding someone perfect, finding one’s way home, if you will. The feeling is euphoric but is quickly interrupted by… Facts. Facts of many kinds. In this context, the relevant facts are, that the stuff you trained yourself to NOT BE or TO BE are suddenly irritating to the person who you’re with.
All of the sudden, you’re doing everything wrong again, when you “knew” you were doing it all right. What your lizard brain wanted to do is what this person asked you to do now, or their opinion matches something you trained yourself to give up on, their attitude is suddenly what you were told wasn’t right, and it pisses you the fuck off. The “won’t women/men make up their god damned minds already” -feeling is very close to the surface.
You might have put some aspects of yourself to bed in lifetimes far before you even remember. Most of us have been trained away from non-monogamy many millennia ago, for one thing. We’ve been trained to suppress certain sexual responses and favor others, even if it wasn’t authentic. Heterosexual women have been trained to not be too eager to jump on a cock, and lesbians have been trained to be as eager as they can pretend to be. I tend to quip that humans are the only species left that has no animal rights to species-typical behavior, not in the eyes of psychologists, scientists, philosophers, or religions alike. The only part where all of those disciplines wholeheartedly agree. People shouldn’t be people. Anyway, I digress.
The feeling of inferiority and insecurity
When your True Emotion Mirror is right there with you, you will feel inferior to them. To you, they seem perfect, from your subjective perspective they are perfect, and as a consequence, from your subjective perspective, you’re not. This is not true, both of you will view the other as perfect and themselves as inferior, simply because when two perfectly equal people meet and both struggle with their own issues (as we all do) both will feel themselves to be inferior. And this feeling can be released in a number of ways, and only few of them are positive and mature.
You will also feel insecure simply because for the first time everything you say will be a question of life and death. This is a person you want to impress more than anyone else you’ve ever met. And if they don’t seem instantly impressed (as is more than likely considering all the Trail Companion* crap and their own issues flaring up, too) you’ll feel like a worm in their presence, really.
Now you understand enough about what is a True Emotion Mirror so we can move on to the romantic predator category.
A pickup artist will try to make you feel inferior artificially
When True Emotion Mirrors meet, they make each other feel inferior simply because they are each other’s idea of perfection. However, a pickup artist or a romantic predator will want to create a sense of inferiority in their target artificially. They will deliberately put you down a little. A good pickup artist makes it between the lines and doesn’t make it too obvious. They throw in remarks of how they want things done or how their target doesn’t know certain relationship facts. They may target their gender so that the person feels compelled to prove them wrong about the failures of their entire gender – or to be different from other women or men in this regard… Or any other regard the person picks up.
I’ve seen pick-up artists deliberately seem to zone out while their date speaks in order to make them feel uninteresting and thus inferior. I’ve noticed a “how to date beautiful women” strategies to make a beautiful woman feel inferior the same way as an unattractive woman, by maybe making her pay for the date (which works in cultures where it works) or making her carry most of the conversation because he’s not “that interested”. A romantic predator may criticize a person’s knowledge on how to be on a date, even, their sexual prowess or their appearance… Some attack all three. They give you some compliments to give you hope but balance that out with insults or insulting remarks.
Basically, a pickup artist will do everything the opposite way than a normal person tries to do when interested in a person. They want to swap the runner-chaser dynamic and make themselves the “attractive” partner by attempting to make the other feel unwanted.
True Emotion Mirrors will easily anger at each other and this is copied
True Emotion Mirrors can easily flair into a full-blown fight out of nowhere. This is because their emotions are running high already, and they feel particularly uneasy about their own position in the other one’s life. Instinctively, they’re looking for proof that they didn’t just fall head-over-heels in love with a practical stranger, and they can do this rather negatively, being offended over something that was never meant to be remotely offensive.
True Emotion Mirrors also feel insulted easily, as their counterpart will cheerfully point out facts they love about them, as you know, to each other, the other is perfect. They could go: Oh my god you’re so fat” without realizing that being fat is never actually considered a compliment or that this person would think when THEY say it, it could mean anything but a statement of loving adoration.
A romantic predator will mimic this by deliberately insulting you, or by getting super offended by something minor, or something that they, themselves did but blame you on it.
The romantic predator will play you against your own vos
True Emotion Mirrors challenge everything about each other. They are each other’s true perfect partners, which means that their very existence challenges a person’s idea of self; their ego, when they start conversing honestly. They make you question who you are as a person.
A romantic predator will mimic this deliberately by picking flaws at who you are, and relying on the fact people want to feel loved and liked. They may deliberately misunderstand you and accuse you of something you are not guilty of, to make you chase that person in your attempt to clear your name. This is actually attacking your vos, to be specific, other’s idea of who you are; your reputation, and how you’re perceived, rather than how you perceive yourself. They want to make you want to prove yourself to be worthy of them by making you defend your honor against their deliberate misrepresentations of what you said to them.
A True Emotion Mirror will be the focal point of your attention without doing ANYTHING to make that happen
A True Emotion Mirror feels automatically drawn to their counterpart. Their presence, to them, is room-filling. Everything that this person does, to them, seems awestriking. This goes beyond good looks, their focus is immune to a much better-looking person standing right next to their True Emotion Mirror. Sometimes the Tremor maybe even be consciously aware of being completely focussed on a person who is technically speaking not as good-looking as another person they’d normally prefer.
A romantic predator will attempt to artificially catch your attention by irritating you, playing tricks on you, arguing with you, etc. They, for example, focus on one single point or thing you said, something that riled you up in the past, and REFUSE to let go of it. Once they figure out what irritates you, they use the same trigger to pull your attention back to themselves.
They want you to think of them feverously even when they’re not there like a TrEmoR would. The idea is to awaken you into the realization you’re still thinking about them hours after your interaction, and conclude you must be in love with them. Anyone who has actually been in love is probably immune to this strategy, but it is one of the best-utilized strategies romantic predators use in their trick book because loved-up people often say: “Oh they are SO IRRITATING! They are such an annoying person, but I think about them ALL THE TIME…” Must be love, right?
So you don’t know where you stand
True Emotion Mirrors are always a little uneasy about their lover’s true feelings about them. They seem too good to be true, and with all the warnings we get about that sort of people, it is a given True Emotion Mirrors will feel hesitant to trust this is even real.
A romantic predator will attempt to make you feel this uneasiness with you deliberately. They try to make you NOT KNOW where you stand, and feel hopeful they’re still in the picture tomorrow. They may give you the attention you want and then not give you attention… Or at least try to put you in this position.
When you are dating someone who is only semi-interested in you, they will do this too. Their attention flexes between “come here” and “who are you again”? Naturally, without it being much of an effort to make you fall madly in love with them or to make you serve their romantic or sexual needs hand and foot.
(Now, people have lives and all, so be careful to contrast this part with everything else I’ve put in this post. I mean, a True Emotion Mirror may not be able to answer every phone call or be there for you 100% even if they truly wanted to be.)
Gifts, money, care
True lovers obviously want to take care of each other and give each other gifts. They want to shower each other with all the good they can give each other. However.
When it comes to romantic predators (and even predatorial friends) these gifts can become Trojan Horses. The person gives you gifts or money or does favors for you seemingly as gifts. However, eventually, you realize that these gifts were there just to create a sense of debt in you. Because they so earnestly helped you, now you have to show them the appreciation they deserve, no?
One of the biggest red flags is the demand of loyalty
A lot of people want to protect themselves from emotional hurt by stressing the importance of loyalty… However, the demand of loyalty is almost 100% a red flag.
True lovers tend to pledge fidelity and loyalty to each other from the heart. However, loyalty is a tricky thing. It must go both ways. Normally, people don’t get too heavy-handed with their expectations of unquestioned loyalty. They understand loyalty is earned. A romantic predator may use the demand of loyalty as a weapon against his or her pray, however.
When a person demands loyalty as a character trait rather than a response to who they are as a person, they are more than likely looking for a person they can abuse. Even if this is subconscious, a person who demands loyalty is aware that they are a difficult person… In other words, an abusive or abrupt person, and they want the person who is with them to be loyal as a character trait. This enables them to treat another person in horrific ways, and blame them for not tolerating it. “I know I treated you badly, but I need loyalty from you!”
Digging their heels in
Although True Emotion Mirrors would never act difficult with their counterpart, the romantic predators use this strategy to mimic a relationship between someone highly attractive and someone less attractive who is chasing them. This is an additional point I wish to make. A person who is genuinely not interested in someone romantically, is not going to be easily persuaded into starting a relationship, are they? A romantic predator will attempt to make themselves the chased one by first giving someone attention and compliments (like nice people often do) and then denying them. Unlike genuinely nice people who are not romantically interested in a person, tho, the romantic predator will return back to poke you even if you tried to end the discussion.
Then again, nice attractive people may keep someone “in a hook” unintentionally, as Full Tens cannot stop being full tens simply because they’re working for instance. Therefore, every interaction they take part in must be adhered to, whether someone might accidentally fall in love with them or not. They are genuinely nice people, being Full Tens, so they simply keep being nice without realizing someone is taking this as a romantic advance. This is something that romantic predators try to do as well.
Try not to turn into a cynic, tho
Please notice I am contrasting this to what happens when people ACTUALLY in love. This means true love does exist. It doesn’t need strategies and pickup lines to light up, either. It’s not something you need to accept, it’s something you need to trust is real, because it is so good for you. I just don’t want you to waste time with fakes, is all.
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*) Term changed after this post was originally written. Fractions of old terms may exist elsewhere in the post. Read about term updates.
**) Narcissists are Young Souls left alone to survive and they're doing their best. Their emotional age ranges from 3 to 17 -year old. The younger, the more severe the narcissism.
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