Not “true love”: Pity, compassion, and understanding each other’s loneliness

Everybody defines “true love” differently, but what is definitely not the definition of “true love” for those who seek it is pity, compassion, and understanding of each other’s loneliness.

However, this combination of feelings is what most “normal” love relationships are based on. It is simply love for the virtue of being equally pathetic. To be clear, some people consider it “mature” love, which is also not what I refer to with a “Mature True Emotion Mirror,” to be clear. No, this is simply two people having given up on true love, not true love itself. To people who seek true love, this is the very trap that awaits them, the very thing to avoid.

Good for one-night stands.

This type of love is great for one-night stands but bad for full-blown relationships if you’re hoping to find true love one day. I would never base a relationship on what I have been known to base one-night stands on. “I love you for the virtue of being a man, and alone…” but not for anything more meaningful than that.

Just because we both want love and commitment doesn’t mean we’re right for each other.

Some people want to make love as simple as finding someone who is ALSO looking for love and commitment. This would mean literally EVERYONE is a Potential True Emotion Mirror, which they most definitely are not. The True Emotion Mirror bond is definitely not the kind that is based on “we both want the same thing,” but more rather: “we both want the EXACT same thing, our idea of perfection is EXACTLY the same, and our idea of the way a perfect person looks like, thinks like, acts like, moralizes, etc., etc. is exactly the same.”

Simple people over-simplify.

When a person isn’t very intelligent, they like to over-simplify complex things. They want to force the bar lower for themselves (and others). Settling for less is their only virtue. They also want YOU to lower your expectations to some pale facsimile of what you truly want, and they quote you, and definitely me, with a fraction of what was actually said. Rather than actually reading and absorbing the entire True Emotion Mirror -description, they remember one sentence where they qualify and believe that makes them a True Emotion Mirror to everyone interested in True Emotion Mirrors.

Loneliness is not the same as a lack of company.

Simple people also don’t understand that loneliness is far more than a simple lack of company. When a person is highly intelligent and complex, they are not likely to feel like they have “someone to talk to” among people who have no interest in what they are interested in and no answer to discussion topics they want to discuss. They also think that an intelligent person is “a show-off” or “tries too hard” because they lack understanding of what being a smart person means and feels like. They try to patch a gaping wound (loneliness) with a band-aid (a company of a person as opposed to a similarly intelligent and interesting person) and wonder why it won’t heal.

For intelligent people, the company of normal people may make them feel even MORE LONELY than they feel completely alone. They can also make a smart person feel trapped in a monogamous relationship with a normal person. You are locked in a relationship with a person who doesn’t understand you at all; you also can’t go LOOKING FOR people who might understand you and love you for who you are, rather what you didn’t have before: a relationship. There are many people who can’t stop thinking about what they could have had if only they didn’t settle for what they now have.

For people who try to offer “understanding,” they understand very woefully little about relationships and what people need in them. Loneliness is the lack of company of people with who one is in love.

I know you want to help and make people happy.

I know we are all hard-wired to try and make everyone happy. Believe it or not, that is my attempt in writing this theory. I write it because without understanding each other’s needs, we can’t make them happy. We are more likely to make each other UNHAPPY than happy if we don’t understand what they need.

Many people even ignore others’ voiced needs simply because they don’t understand why something might be important or even sound so bad to them; they would never want it for themselves. For instance, a closet lesbian will never truly understand a woman who wants a man for herself. To a lesbian, a heterosexual woman’s need for male company sounds as obscure as asking for herself to be enslaved and jailed for fun. We need to UNDERSTAND each other before trying to rescue each other from “the scary male,” for example.

Understanding the other perspective is VITAL in making everybody happy. We NEED TO make everybody happy. The sizes of our societies will not get any smaller than this (unless you believe me here), and it won’t be feasible to create stable communities until everybody’s needs are met. And our number one need is to have a satisfying love relationship.

Therefore, this should be everybody’s priority.

Either work with me or get out of my way.

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