Honestly, are you a false True Emotion Mirror?

What most True Emotion Mirror teachers and real True Emotion Mirrors find very disturbing is the ease at which people pick a person and slab a True Emotion Mirror -label on them. Eventually, True Emotion Mirror teachers wind up angrily arguing against False True Emotion Mirrors who want to use the concept as an excuse to do awful things to another person with 0 regards to what that person wants or how they feel. They project their own feelings to another person and insist that is their True Emotion Mirror. That is an epidemic, that takes the True Emotion Mirror teachers time away from what they actually WANTED to do: to facilitate the reunion of true lovers, rather than argue against selfish people with a self-serving agenda.

The need to find love or the need to bond with someone is not an indicator that you are a true True Emotion Mirror. It’s like insisting that because you want a baby badly, it means you are a mother. You may be “born to be a mother”, but it doesn’t make you a mother, yet. It doesn’t excuse stealing another woman’s baby simply because you need to nurture someone.

The same goes for True Emotion Mirrors . Just because you want one, and have a deep need to find him or her, doesn’t excuse stealing another person’s true love. It also won’t make that person your True Emotion Mirror no matter how much you wish for that to be true. It’s like trying to change the baby’s genetics by wishful thinking.

Not “being” a True Emotion Mirror is not really a thing

Many people object to the idea that they are not a True Emotion Mirror. There’s no reason to object to it, because, again, it’s like objecting to someone telling you that “you are not a parent because you don’t have a child”.

You can find your Twin Flame, and once you do, you’ll be Twin Flames. Like “sweethearts”, only… Deeper in every aspect. The same as having a child makes you a mother or a father. Meaning that the fact THIS ONE person isn’t your True Emotion Mirror doesn’t mean you don’t have one, that you’re less of a person, nor that you never will.

A True Emotion Mirror is not a label that you can add to someone simply because you decided so. Here are some examples of wrong ways of interpreting the term “Twin Flame”.

Signs that you are someone’s False Twin Flame

(Several different false scenarios here)

• You have a need to be with SOMEBODY and the idea of a True Emotion Mirror seems to give you the permission to bag this particular somebody all to yourself.
• You want someone to take care of you, protect you, or to fend for you, and you think you can obligate this person for the job based on a spiritual theory you have a superficial understanding of. (If you read it at length, you pick and choose what you belive VERY freely because many teachers say: “just take what resonates with you and leave the rest”, and you choose to apply that advice VERY liberally, in fact, throwing everything unpleasant out, keeping only what sounds nice to you.)
• You feel obstinately, that THEY must change in order to accommodate your emotional (and/or, asexual, or sexual) needs, which you feel they are NOT GIVING YOU, rather than DENYING what already exists in themselves. You feel it is OK to pressure and push someone into a relationship with you, even though they do not really HAVE IT IN THEM in the first place. I am not asking you to curb your needs, just to make sure you’re not pressuring another person into providing something they are AUTHENTICALLY NOT INTO.)
• You feel “meant to be” is akin to an arranged marriage that doesn’t need to be mutually or particularly fulfilling. (You may feel that women have the right to fulfillment or men have the right to fulfillment, but you ignore the fact True Emotion Mirror relationships are and have to be mutually fulfilling, even if there’s a power play in effect.¹)
• You feel your True Emotion Mirror is escaping their duty of entering this “arranged-in-heaven” marriage if they don’t want a relationship with you. Often, this is about the oppression of male sexuality in favor of a “spiritual” True Emotion Mirror bond that she wishes means that HE has to curb his sexuality so that SHE could avoid hers.
• You think this is the golden ticket to traditional marriage, which couldn’t be less true if we tried to make it so. Real True Emotion Mirror relationships don’t NEED a man-made tradition to survive, although that does not mean the lack of commitment by any means. Often, a True Emotion Mirror marriage MUST BE tailor-made to fit the very unique couple or soup.
• You feel entitled to them and their love, devotion, and servitude.
• You feel confused about why they don’t love you (rather than confused over why they love you but rejected you anyway).
• You feel confused about why they don’t cater to your needs and expectations the same way as you’re used to others doing. (You’re more than likely a highly attractive individual, but you ran into someone who is already in a True Emotion Mirror bond with someone else, and thus, you’re air to them and you don’t understand why.)
• You feel obsessed. It is not a particularly good feeling, but more an “angry” feeling.
• You may feel trapped.
• You just want to make it stop.
• It feels completely and solely sexual.
• You feel the need to “stick it into your Twin Flame” to punish them for something.
• You feel they OWE you love because “they’re your Twin Flame” and they’re not fulfilling their end of the bargain. You feel anger and resentment for the person.
• You ask questions like: “How do I make my True Emotion Mirror surrender to me?” You want to FORCE THEM into compliance with you.
• You emphasize the OWNERSHIP of the idea of “your Twin Flame”. You feel that if another person is dating them or befriending them, you wish you could call the cops on them because somebody is tampering with YOUR PROPERTY. (They may give themselves to you, but not until you realize they don’t belong to you.)
• There’s a lot of negative feelings toward your supposed Twin Flame, such as jealousy because you think they’re getting off easy somehow.
• You feel that if they don’t want to love you, there’s something wrong with THEM, not you. You systematically externalize YOUR problems to be THEIR problems. You avoid acceptance that you had something to work on, because you don’t even know where you should start if you had a problem.
• You focus on ONE SINGLE True Emotion Mirror marker and insist that THIS is your justification for your belief that this is your True Emotion Mirror. You ignore all markers that point toward some other explanation, such as sexual obsession. If you focus on ONE single marker, it should be the MUTUAL TWO-WAY love that you feel for each other, NOT a one-sided obsession you may feel. If you don’t know whether they love you or not, or they DENY feeling that way toward you, you should at least consider this a very significant unknown.
• You ask for signs to confirm an obsession you feel, you don’t ask for guidance or the truth in the matter.

Signs that you have met your True Emotion Mirror but are not ready for it yet

• At the first meeting, you felt an immense sense of connection and inexplainable love or a pull toward them. (True Emotion Mirror sign.)
• You have a feeling of belonging with them. (True Emotion Mirror sign.)
• You feel there are certain things that need to be taken care of before the coast is clear for your True Emotion Mirror to enter. (A mature sign of not being ready: you are mature enough to take your time and wait and work on things to prepare for your True Emotion Mirror.)
• You had certain expectations on how this would progress, but it didn’t pan out that way. You’re refusing to let go of these expectations and alter your approach. (That is a sign of immaturity, like the following:)
• You feel entitled to them and their love, devotion, and servitude.
• You feel that the WAY you will ultimately reunite is more important than actually reuniting. (You have this romantic idea that MUST be met, but that, to you, feels more important than having the actual relationship. This can be argued to be romantic rather than immature, depends on the situation a bit. Consider whether this WAY is for your benefit or for your True Emotion Mirror. If it’s for them, it’s maturity.)
• You feel that you KNOW how “relationships” work, while forgetting the fact relationships are what happens when two (or more) people meet, not a template (pre-written role) for those individuals to fulfill.
• The fear of losing face is still a big factor for you.
• You are proud of the fact you’ve never given an inch to that person or their demands, wishes, or needs. This makes you feel strong and their superior. (Strong sign of immaturity and selfishness.)
• You feel the need to force them into some behavior that suits your values and expectations, and you take to this from the position of a superior. You have expectations toward them, and you punish them with your absence because they’re not behaving the way you expect them to. (A sign of narcissistic personality disorder which is a severe problem in all human relationships, and immaturity to boot. Curiously, NOT a sign of a false twin flame, just that you’re not good enough yet. Sometimes this is a sign of Near Twin Flame, if it is a lifestyle disagreement rather than failure to accept the true self.)
• You don’t want to accept that you are the kind of a person who loves someone like your True Emotion Mirror (whatever that may be; a drug addict, a drunk, a slut, a fatty, someone who dresses in suits or jeans or whatever childish objection you might have.) This is not the same thing as not finding someone attractive, it’s just the rejection of someone YOU AUTHENTICALLY DO LOVE on the basis of being ashamed of being in love with someone like that. (Be careful not to guilt/shame people into pretending to love you if you are “someone like that”.)
• You insist THEY are not spiritual enough while you do everything in your power clinging onto the external signs of spirituality.
• You don’t feel the need to self-improve, but you leave all self-improvement pursuits to your alleged True Emotion Mirror.
• You use phrases like: “They are a commitment-phobic.” “They’re just not as evolved as I am.” “They don’t know what love is.” “They are childish and selfish.” They, they, they, they… “Not my fault, THEIR fault.” This shows a profound lack of an ability to be critical of oneself and accepting responsibility for one’s own flaws or part in the love story. EVERYONE has something to work on, but only a very immature individual thinks they have got it all covered. The less you know the more you think you know.
• You feel superior to them somehow, you have trouble viewing them as your equal, out of the fear they might see you as their inferior instead.

Signs that you are with a False Twin Flame

• They try to OBLIGATE you.
• Their motivation is to bag a bloke or land themselves a wife, but they don’t really care about who YOU are.

Signs that you are looking at an ENIGMA (probably not in a relationship)

• They have the certain star quality to them, but you don’t, really.
• They are highly attractive in the traditional sense and have a lot of admirers, whereas you aren’t and don’t.
• You find them highly intelligent but cannot match their intelligence, talent, or skills. What you bring to the table is less than what they bring in. (Women are not exempt from this requirement of matching his skills, even though you think a traditional doll-wife role would satisfy you just fine.)

Signs that you are with a NEAR Twin Flame

• It feels GREAT to be with them, but something tells you it’s not going to last.
• You’re mainly compatible, to a high degree, but you feel there’s some small thing that won’t align. You simply want a different life, for instance, and both of you feel your dreams are more important than what you share together.
• You love them dearly, and wouldn’t ever want to change them, therefore, you’d rather let them go than to destroy the perfection they are – or, to be fair, destroy the perfection that you are for them. (Highly spiritual feeling, this, don’t attach ugly narcissistic or ego-driven idea of “perfection” here.)

The KEY identifiers of a real True Emotion Mirror are:

• More than just a need to be with SOMEBODY. You would never hang onto them if you felt they were just “available” or “assigned” to you.
• Although you find them physically attractive (or not), you feel the connection runs much deeper than the surface. But even with physical beauty, your IDEALS are the same or in a delicious contradiction.
• You feel there is A DYNAMIC. A dynamic is a beautiful word to describe this.
• Selfless and non-possessive! It is absolutely selfless and non-possessive. You’d rather give them up than impose yourself on them in any way. The last thing you want to be is the person who causes your True Emotion Mirror an ounce of (unpleasant) pain or discomfort. IF you have ever been in the receiving end of unwelcome one-sided love, you know EXACTLY why many highly attractive (and yes, even pretty people are capable of spiritual love) True Emotion Mirrors are very careful not to impose themselves on anyone.
• A True Emotion Mirror needs permission to fall in love and to possess their counterpart, from their counterpart. They often also feel the need to ask psychics or similar people for signs of whether or not they might be over-stepping their line if they cannot ask for that permission from their True Emotion Mirror for a reason or another. So they ask for PRELIMINARY permission or a YELLOW light (as opposed to red light) from a teacher or a see’er. They are asking for permission or a reason to remain hopeful and positive, maybe some advice on how to proceed WITHOUT imposing on their Twin Flame, NOT for a PERMISSION to impose (throw themselves) on that person. A person who takes a psychic’s word for GREEN light is more than likely in a non-True Emotion Mirror bond.
• If they reject you, you feel confused, not angry or resentful. You KNOW they ALREADY love you, but you don’t know why they rejected you. It makes no sense to you. It is important here that you KNOW they love you, rather than you know they “should” or “would love you if they knew you” but that currently, they don’t.
• Many True Emotion Mirrors feel the need to spread the news of the divine, true love that they’ve felt for their Twin Flame, as they feel their story is magical. I absolutely list it as a True Emotion Mirror sign, that the people involved want to write a book about it. It is SO VERY POWERFUL. (If not books, then another form of art arises.)
• True Emotion Mirrors feel inspired by this love to create, improve on themselves, to become WORTHY of their love.
• You feel that if you tried to describe how you feel for this person, or how you experience your love for them, it would be SO overly romantic that NOBODY would believe you or understand you. And, in your experience, they don’t, really.
• You seek for a rational explanation to your feelings, particularly if you’re not in a relationship with that person, barely know them, or have never even met them. You are always half looking for a reason NOT TO believe they are something special to you, not because you want out of it, but because you think it’s too good to be true, and that makes you feel a little uneasy about trusting your very sanity. There are too many supernatural elements to this love to make you entirely confident that you are still entirely sane. You may TRUST the connection, but even that can make you a little worried, as you know crazy people rarely doubt themselves even though they were visibly MENTAL.
• They opened up your psychic intuition.
• You feel telepathic with them. (You may not always understand each other EVEN WITH TELEPATHY, but you always feel deeply spiritually connected with them.)
• You don’t feel “obsessed” with the person. You feel connected, enthralled, intrigued, inspired… You may feel a thousand times better thinking about them than not thinking about them, but it’s not truly “an obsessive” feeling. (And you know what “obsession” feels like, too, whether through your own experience or empathically, so you know how to compare).
• Although the connection is sexual, it is also spiritual, love-filled, complete. You have an intellectual connection, love-connection, sexual connection, and a spiritual connection. On top of that, you can easily imagine a mutual professional or other joined life goal with them.
• You have a deep understanding of the same things – you enjoy the same things, your interests are the same, your extended value system is the same. (Not to be confused with a Basal Principle Mirror*, but a True Emotion Mirror is always ALSO a Basal Principle Mirror*, only deeper and fuller.)
• You are willing to change for this person. You may be generally speaking very “rigid” in your personality, unwilling to change for ANYONE, but this person makes you feel soft and willing to grow, adjust, and change if needed. You’d do anything for them, really, and change is a small price to pay.
• You may also be generally speaking DEAD AGAINST changing anyone to your own liking because you don’t really love them. In those cases, you know that even if they changed for you, you wouldn’t stick around ANYWAY, or you don’t feel like they could change ENOUGH for you to love them even if they did everything IN THEIR POWER to change to your liking. However, with this person, you can, tentatively, see it as the lesser of two evils if you allow them to change for you – if the alternative is separation. This is, however, a very careful, sensitive feeling, because you would never want to ruin the perfect person you know in your selfish need to make them your own. You’d ALLOW them to change for you after CAREFUL, prolonged consideration to ensure that’s for THEIR best interest the same as yours.

Please register for the Personality Mirror Soulmate Typology, “the advanced True Emotion Mirror theory”.

1. Many True Emotion Mirrors find this insulting, yet, there are other True Emotion Mirrors who find the idea of perfectly equal stereotypically spiritual relationships the stuff that death of everything is made out of, so… An open mind is necessary in these matters. ↩

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