The heart of it all: It’s a competition in being kind and charming – not in being snooty

The better word for “nice” is to be “a good” person, but that is sometimes misinterpreted. Sometimes, people think “being a good person” means being “above others,” “being privileged,” or “being untouchable.” Being charming, polite, and gentile is none of those things; it’s about being kind to others.

There are people in the ‘circles’ who absolutely haven’t understood what sophistication is about. They are a glaring example of entitled behavior, crudeness, and… Shall I say: Polished turds. They are people who love the Champaign but cannot explain the meaning of one single verse from the Bible. And if there is one thing that a gentile must know, that is their scripture. THAT doesn’t mean that we have to be Christian or Muslim or religious at all, but you do need a philosophy to live by, and it must lean on learning to be a kind, fair person.

There is a mean streak in sophistication.

Now. We all fear the ire of the sophisticated people. Their judgment, right? You may think that the judgment is limited only to your wealth and fashion sense. You’d be mistaken to think that the worst thing they might do is to criticize picking the wrong designer’s clothes or wearing the wrong season’s items. (Polished turds.)

What true ladies and gentlemen judge you on is your morals and ego. Make no mistake about it. Morals extend to everything you do; a gentleman’s code binds you to do the right thing by others at all times, even when nobody is looking. Without this… You are nothing but… a polished turd.

Still… It is fun to laugh at clueless people behind their backs when they don’t realize they fall short of expectations. And that makes us all a little bit skittish.

To never make another person feel needlessly bad about themselves.

I have personally come to situations where I have felt it necessary to be cruel and mean to others for the greater good. One of these examples is my blog posts, in which I air out my true feelings in a manner not fit for a lady. However, I feel I have come to a point in my spiritual journey where I have to air out some lifetimes worth of unattended to issues with karmic soulmates and other such people. I’ve taken the liberty to insult and speak directly when otherwise I would not.

That said, being a well-mannered, charming person, you must at all times avoid making anyone feel bad about themselves. This also includes situations where you remind a person to call you a different pronoun than what your birth gender suggests. I am sorry, but you have been taught and trained to be offended for politeness, which is a crazy thing to be offended by – even though I understand that it would be NICE if you would be referred to in your preferred manner, however, I’ll be talking about this at length later. How much is fair to expect of others and what is not a fair expectation. (Guessing correctly when there is no clues is definitely one of those things.)

This is not a street fight.

This is very important for you to understand: Being gentile is not a street fight. Once people trust you are a true gentleman or a lady, (and it will take some time to establish as it is easy to hide behind impeccable manners,) nobody is going to take it away from you. You can only lose it by showing your true beastly colors. Losing your wealth, and job, political office or getting divorced won’t make you not a lady or a gentleman, unless you’re surrounded by… Polished turd. The gentile folk should always watch out for each other, because we are typically not good in a street fight.

You compete over who is the most charming and likeable and genuinely kind, not for who is the biggest manipulator and piece of s***. Getting caught lying (even about a minor thing,) will set you back for years worth, even if you never lied again… Even if you were 16 at the time doing it, it casts a shadow of doubt on you for years to come. Gentile folk is very, very hard on a liar.

Neither a gentleman or a lady never lies.

The reason why a minor lie can be just as bad as a big one is that a minor lie without a good justification is so pointless. It’s like “You’re prepared to go to Hell OVER THAT?! What else are you doing?” Such as, to sound cool on your blog, you write: “I walk my dog in high heels.” Then you see her walking her dog in trainers. WTF? Why would you lie about something that is SO UNNECESSARY for a very cool, beautiful, witty woman to do, with NO benefit to how people perceive you?! (The reason why she said that is that I did… Walk my dog in high heels. Not every time, obviously, but at times… But don’t we all?)

So. The competition is over charm; sense of humor, the ability to put others at ease in your presence. You get disqualified for a number of things, and lying and stealing are two certain ways to get cancelled. You’d get away with a rape charge before lying, and there’s a reason for that… We don’t like liars. Or girls who claim virtue when it takes two to tango.

(I’m going to sound SOOOO like great auntie Sebby in this blog, but hey, I kinda like the sound of that.)

This leads to not being naive. We know how devious little tarts operate. An honest whore we don’t have an issue with, but little things that pretend one thing while pointing a finger at a man no more guilty than she is… *tuts her tongue*

… let alone at a man completely innocent.

This is a competition on kindness and charm.

The competition of a gentleman and a lady is that of a charmer, not snootiness, superiority, manipulation skills, or deviousness. Those traits belong to the street, not in a parlor. Ladies and gentlemen are not always perfect, but they are always charming – or so tired they can barely stand up.

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