Don’t give space to those who are counting on the people you want to give you up.

There are life situations where you have a spot to fill in your life that others want, yes? There are two ways you can go about filling that spot:

Give it to whoever comes in with a first come, first serve mentality, but don’t lock the door from a better rival who wants that spot. (Romance, business, work, you name it.) It’s a temporary position until a qualified candidate/sexier person comes along, and you’ll keep openly looking.

Or, you keep temporaries out until you find what you’re looking for and don’t falter. Don’t try to commit to people you would not commit to in an ideal world. Don’t even give them the time of your day.

Either way, you have to make the space(s) in your life match the person you want to fill it with, nobody else. Make no accommodations for people for whom you need to adjust. Create the space (Second Life?) until someone fits it like a glove. ACCEPT NO COMPROMISES. Compromises are for second-grade relationships that you HAVE TO endure. Your ideal life should be reserved for PERFECT MATCHES ONLY.

Luring people into something.

Some people try to lure you into something you don’t want by creating a low threshold at first. Then, they start adding more and more (possibly sexual) tasks and expectations for you to keep the relationship going. That is to be considered dishonest and manipulative, and I don’t like people who do that.

Waiting on the sidelines.

While there may be people in your life that you want to be in your life, who are waiting for others to give up on you, there may also be those who feel they have every right to be at the front of the queue despite you telling them that you don’t want them. Mind you, some people may feel you tell them you want them simply to be nice and to play time or to keep them as a backup plan if you can’t get what you truly want.

Because of that, it is smart to paint the picture of the very thing you want so that the right people will feel like they are the thing that fits your space, and that you are not making accommodations simply because you see them as desperate and easy answer in your own growing desperation to get those spots filled.

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