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Messages from Sebastyne as chosen by the Universe.

 

 

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Don’t make promises to yourself on another person’s behalf.

the Mature Thinkers* and the Young Thinker* have very different expectations and assumptions when they get into a relationship. If they are in a relationship with each other, the misunderstandings are going to be more numerous than understanding between them. We are talking about such base-level beliefs, that both types cannot even comprehend how the other person rationalizes things and what they are expecting from the other. Both parties’ expectations will remain unmet indefinitely, no matter how much time is spent on this connection, UNLESS the pair happens to be a True Emotion Mirror pair regardless of their base-level differences… The True Emotion Mirror bond seems to decide deeper still.

“I gave him/her everything I had” yada yada.

You know these people who groan and complain how they gave that man or woman everything they had, worked and toiled and loved them and whatnot, and STILL, they got dumped. Now, the situation here isn’t quite as that person interprets it. Always, when people are telling about their experiences, assume that they are not psychologists and that they don’t necessarily see the full picture:

When a Mature Thinkers* is trying to reject a person, they give a cold shoulder, they ghost, or, if they’re irritated enough, they start acting rudely toward that person, sometimes even aggressively. ALL OF THIS, to a dog-type, means: “I’m worth the extra effort, this isn’t good enough, I want more, you need to try harder.” Rejection, in a dog-type’s mind, is never final, and often, their obstinance pays off, as the Mature Thinkers*, rather than being satisfied with their effort, stops arguing with it and simply accepts their lot in life being married/friends with this waste of air.

the Mature Thinkers* are faithful even when they’re not truly in love but shouldn’t be.

An Mature Thinker* has another weird trait, even if they are pushed into a relationship they don’t want, they still tend to treat that person with love and respect, and remain faithful and honest. As a Mature Thinkers*, I tell you this: First, learn to be firm in your rejection and feel no guilt about it. You have no obligation toward a person who cannot accept a no from you. If you’ve been honest from the start, it’s their problem if they choose to take your words as a lie: “I’m not interested, I don’t want you, I am going to be seeing other people.” I have no moral qualms about you taking that person in and letting them work for you for as long as they think there’s a reward in it, as long as you keep telling them that there isn’t going to be one. (If you change your mind later, fine.)

If you never accept a no, don’t complain to me when people take advantage of you.

If you are one of those people who think that no rejection isn’t really final if you just keep pushing for a relationship, don’t come crying to me when that person takes full advantage of you, allows you to put your every last effort, and the best years of your life trying to coax that person to believe you’re seriously serious about this relationship. They are not, you see? Nobody would treat a person they love and want in that way, out of simple rational fear they might not stick around for abuse. Especially if that person makes NO EFFORT to keep you there, but you keep telling yourself that they don’t try to keep you there by force because they have people watching you or they’re SUCH A BADASS secret mafioso, that they don’t HAVE TO act jealous of you… You’re telling yourself tall stories, more than likely.

Don’t assume that the bigger “fight” a person puts up before a relationship starts, the bigger the rewards are going to be… That’s just fanciful thinking. IF that person truly thinks they get to abuse you before rewarding you, don’t assume that the abuse stops when the rewards start coming in. You are making promises to yourself on behalf of another person if you think sticking around will be good for you in the end, and they’re going to respect you for having the bravery to be their piggy bank, doormat, and a spit bucket combined. The truth is, they might have absolutely NO interest in you as a companion at all, and you assume what they want is what you can give, as you ignore their explanation as to why you’re never going to be enough for them, and put it down to abuse and put abuse down to “a test of love”.

You’re stopping both of you from finding true love.

As you are refusing to accept that this person does not belong to you, and doesn’t want to belong to you, and doesn’t want you to belong to them, either, you are holding them away from their true love, (but it’s unlikely that matters to you,) but you’re also hanging onto false hope and wishes of love that will never come to you when YOU could be out there looking for some of the real stuff. And I think you think this person has to be 1000 times better than “your true love” and you much prefer the fake stuff, but that’s just the dumbest thing you’ve ever thought.

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