A narcissist may want to be given a permission to become something to make space for themselves to truly be it.

A narcissist tends to want to pretend to be something before they are; fake it ’till you make it, in other words. The problem with this is that they may not know when they’ve actually made it, and how much of their identity is still just “bought” by the audience.

At first, you create a fake persona so you can grow into your own shoes, right? But that is a lonely position to be in. You have to be solely capable of assessing whether you actually are measuring up to the shoes, or are they just external? If you can’t confess to anybody that you’re only faking it, then you have to be the one to keep yourself in check… And most narcissists are perfectly incapable of doing that.

So, whatever you want to be, you’ll have to work toward becoming, not declaring yourself to be this empty place holder for what you think you might one day be able to pull off if everyone just gave you permission to be it.

No. You’ve got permission to try, tho.

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