A person who loves you will give you time to adjust and to trust.

A celebrity asked me how they can trust a person who promises them everything. They seem too good to be true, but they fear yet another humiliating public relationship failure in front of cameras. They fear their new person will be impatient to get in front of cameras and to become famous (for a good enough reason that our celebrity is excited about, too, but it worries them still… Mainly because the reason IS good.) And they fear that if they make a mistake rushing into things, everything will be just another public disaster that they’d wish to avoid.

The answer to this is simple to me. If a person is serious about you, and loves you, they will give you all the time in the world to adjust and to trust things and to become good with things. In normal people’s lives, something like this could be introducing each other to your kids or parents. They may insist, “You’re ashamed of me,” or “You’re hiding me because you don’t want to make a commitment,” or “You’re jealous of me and want to keep me to yourself.” Mind you, all of that sounds a little immature or manipulative to me. A person who is willing to give you what you need shouldn’t try to pressure you into such things.

TRUST must be earned, but a lot of people try to demand it instead. Respect is the same thing. A person HAS TO give you time to find your feet in a new situation. A true commitment goes both ways. You commit to each other’s fears, too.

And yes, sure, there’s a possibility you’ll never be ready to make the relationship public. It says something about the relationship, the stage of the relationship, rather than something about you. End a relationship where your feelings are not taken seriously, EVEN IF they’re going to use bad words to label you with with their friends. (If the relationship was secret, and they go around screaming how they dated so-and-so but so-and-so wouldn’t commit… Imagine what people will think. She/he’s INSANE, right? They’re not going to think, “Oh, So-and-so didn’t commit! What a bastard!”)

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