A Potato Sack or A Back Packer -client?

If a person asks you for guidance, or you asked someone to guide you but it feels odd to you, check this: Have they asked you where you want to go, or did they simply assume and take over your life when you felt lost and helpless? It is to be noted that some people want to be taken to their destination as a passive passenger and someone to be shown the route, the destination, and they also may ask for a specific result giving their guide the responsibility of getting them that result.

The same person may react differently from situation to situation, wanting 100% control in something that is important to them and they are confident about and wanting 0 responsibility in an area that doesn’t matter to them or they feel insecure about handling.

“Completely lost”

A person may ask for guidance and feel “completely lost” without it meaning they do not have an opinion as to where they want to go. It simply means they haven’t got a clue about how to get to the destination they were hoping to get to, and are thus “lost”. They may also not know where they want to get to, without it meaning they don’t have an opinion on their options.

Let’s imagine a person is “completely lost”. Some don’t care where you take them as long as you take them somewhere safe. Some are completely lost in the sense that they know where their family and friends are, but they simply cannot find their way to them. Some may feel completely lost in the sense that they had a specific place in mind but now they are not even sure the place existed let alone how they would get there, or they had a vague idea of where they’re going but have several non-answers they’ve tried and are lost in the sense that they no longer know what to try to find the place they were looking for.

So, if a person walks into a travel agency, they may ask for help to choose the destination first. They will have some idea: “Somewhere hot, somewhere where there’s a strong ancient culture vibe…” So the agent gives them some suggestions… You could go to China, to Machu Pichu, or maybe India, or whatever. (I’m not much of a traveler myself.)

Some may want to go to a specific small village up on Himalayan mountains but would need a guide to get there. The travel agent would tell them where to travel and then who to contact once there, but they wouldn’t get up and go with their client, let alone on behalf of their client, would they? Sometimes to help someone where they want to go, you simply need to point them closer to their destination rather than take them all the way there.

If a traveling agent would grab a client as soon as they utter the words “I’d like to go on a holiday” and woosh them off to the nearest airport shove them on board without asking any questions, but reassuring them that they know exactly the place… That person would probably not be recommending their services but suing them for everything they’re worth.

Oddly enough, some people who you ask life advice from may act exactly like this. You confess to a crazy aunt of yours you wish to get married one day, and the next thing you know you’re on a blind date with someone you wouldn’t fuck blind drunk and high.

Another situation in which people may ask for help is to ask them help out with something that is too much for one person to handle. In this situation one pair of hands may belong to a person who thinks THEY have been invited to take over the entire project. They understand the word “help” as “do everything on my behalf”, instead of can you lift a box or two just like everyone else.

Choosing a guide

A person who is sure of themselves and knows what they are doing is not necessarily a person who grabs you by the arm and takes you all the way to your destination without you doing anything but sleeping along the way. As a coach, I’ve encountered countless of women who turn into a sack of potatos in your hands as they expect everything to be done on their behalf and they can simply expect their prince charming to land on their lap, obviously, expecting me to NOT talk to him in the process.

You as a guide may think your client asks for X when in fact, they ask you to do Y.

Let’s take me for an example. I am the kind of a guide who will tell you where to go, draw you a map and expect you to walk all the way there on your own. Time and time again I get contacted by women who want me to hear what they want, load them into a rickshaw and bike them up the mountain to where they want to go, so to speak. As I expect them to take the map and run for it, when they just keep talking about it, I come to the conclusion they are not really serious about going anyway after I keep suggesting more and more possible routes and solutions for them, as they nod and listen and keep sitting there waiting.

What they are doing is that they wait for me to make up my mind about how WE are going to get there, while what I am doing is giving them several options to try out and see what works for them. Choose one. Anything you like to try! It doesn’t matter, just pick one! This is YOUR trip, not mine. I am here to tell you what your options are, but you pick the one you are most comfortable doing, I am not going to get involved and FORCE your man to marry you.

Check this post about Potato Sack lovers, clients, and celebrities.

Subscribe to get a Daily Message