A toxic thought: “It is not realistic to assume/think/hope for what I want to happen.”

After all of the years of coaching people, I still succumb to that thought: “It is unrealistic to hope THIS or THAT could be achieved.” I mean… I can entertain the thought of practical physical immortality as a realistic possibility (that aging won’t kill us), still, I cannot think I could completely eliminate women from my life. 😀 Imagine that! I cannot get rid of women, but I CAN cure death! Like I STILL don’t mean I’ll never SEE women anywhere or (that death will stop existing) but what I want is not to have meaningful interactions with other women as far as I can help it.

I keep shaving off the sides of what I want… “Fine, I’ll coach them.” “Well, I cannot exclude them all from my Second Life sim!” (I mean… The poor sisters, they can’t get onto MY sim; they’d be HEART BROKEN! I can’t do that to them! (That’s even narcissistic to think they’d be so DEPRIVED that I have to alter my perfect life to accommodate to their need to fucking visit my sim!)) Just to keep the records straight (if you see me falter elsewhere;) I do want to sell them stuff, but nothing I need to have a “who am I” -type of relationship with them; I can sell a PRODUCT as long as that product has no link to my PERSONALITY.

I’m telling you this because I want to point out how we start talking ourselves back from the true wish, whatever that may be for you. We tell ourselves we don’t have “the right” to change things too much or to ask others to adjust to our needs. People ask others to believe they are of a different gender than what your eyes are telling you, and we comply – you, too, have the right to insist people respect your quirks… And to assume they will.

Now, let’s wait a few years before that sinks in. 😉

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