About the loss of innocence and purity

Purity is a state of being where you are in your authentic state, unaffected by other’s ideas or conditioning, an “animal state” if you will – where other’s issues and ideals have not yet reached you or have been rejected by you, leaving only the ideas and ideals that you truly hold in value. This means a complete absence of preconceptions that didn’t come from you but were imposed on you by someone else but you think of them as your own values. The loss of purity happens when your own self gets tarnished by someone else’s ideas of what you should be or how you should behave. Most of us lose our purity at adolescence, and sexual purity is lost the first time someone gives you “the talk”.

Innocence is the state of being sin-free and thus guilt-free. A person with a clear conscience. There is two ways of achieving innocence; either avoiding doing things that cause you a guilty conscience, or always acting out of purity – from the state of your own true self untarnished by other’s expectations.

Our purity is at constant firing line of well-meaning people installing rules, regulateons, guilt, recommendateons and fear on us. Our view of the world is coming from others, until we learn – and very, very few of us ever will – to look at the world from pure observation, without coloured lenses. Getting even close to that is near impossible.

Someone who is completely pure can never lose their innocence. The narrower we set the field of “right” the harder it is for us to be innocent. The more concepts and conflicting demands we have on our innocence the easier it is to be guilty, tarnished and dirty. The more rules we invent, and the more of them is in conflict with our authentic self, the more guilty we feel.

The state of our true selves is always been a target of presumpteons. Our parents do a good job at tarnishing our purity: “You will lose all your friends if you do that.” “You’ll never get a job if you be like this.” “You will lose all your money if you do that.” “No boy will ever go out with you if you dress like that.” “You should never love a girl who dresses like that.” What if that girl’s dress was the exact right one to turn the head of that boy, if he hadn’t been told that’s the wrong dress? Because of that well-meaning comment to both of them, they are both lost now. “You should never have sex on the first date or you will lose his respect” is the biggest damned lie you can tell a young girl… Right next to “you can’t respect a girl who sleeps on the first date because if she sleeps with YOU that easy, who else does she sleep with?” If that comes from a parent, that must hurt. You are so unlovable, that any girl who falls into your arms like a true lover should must be a dirty slag, because no good girl would love someone like you… And the fear that you have to settle for a dirty slag, or that the girl you thought was pure turns out to be dirty… Because with rules like that, you can’t look into her eyes and know whether she’s pure or not.

So, we go into our first sexual experience when we have already lost most of our purity. And when the sex that follows doesn’t fit the strict guidelines of what is right, we lose our innocence. (Did you enjoy that too much? Does he really love you? What if he doesn’t love you after all? Do I really love her, or am I just taking advantage?) Guilt sets in never to leave. Innocence is lost.

If you are a parent or a teacher of any kind, guilt is setting into you as you read this, isn’t it? Now what are you going to do about it? Ignore what I say or understand that your ideas are just as much the result of your own upbringing, and your purity has been tarnished before you had the chance to think for yourself. As you worked from the state of good intenteons and according to your idea of right, you are, although tarnished, innocent of corruption. The good thing is, you can always regain your purity and thus innocence, and you can help others to do the same.

In our purest form, we can never lose innocence. We are what we would be if nobody had ever told us what we must be, and we would function from the purity of our souls. You would be radiant. But discovering what you truly are is hard, because you do have a lot of rubbish on you. You have a list of qualities that are bad, and then you have a list of qualities that are good. Throw away both lists. What you are has nothing to do with what someone else is. Your standards are your own – they should be your own. These lists are based on the fear that other people cannot find their way to good life without you telling them where to seek it. It is a fear that there isn’t a rightful place for anything that has a wrong place and application – which covers everything in life. Everything has both the hurtful place and the beneficial application to it, such as as sadism. Sometimes you need to cause pain in order to make another grow. Should you feel guilty about something that helps another person grow? The pure enjoyment of seeing someone grow through pain… There’s nothing quite like it. I use words these days. They cut deeper and work better than blades – but I can’t say they don’t hold my charm. And sadism… Enjoyment of someone else’s pain maybe pure even if you do it for the pain and not to make another person grow, you still cannot help but to make the other grow stronger in their soul. Scary thought, but yet… it is so.

If sticking to the topic of sexual purity and innocence, we must study the reasons why sexual purity is such a turn on for some people. This is a religious fetish that starts from the wish to completely own the other person, and the wish to discover each other’s sexuality together – without obstruction. Sadly, this wish is already being obstructed, because of the expectation of virginity and valuing “love making” instead of fucking. There is never going to be a state of pure discovery if expectations and limitateons are already being placed by the church, society and your own parents. When there are limitateons in place, you will already obstruct the way you feel about the experience, and you go into it assessing whether you are doing it right or not. If you are wondering whether this is right or wrong, how can it be pure or innocent, and you two are not the only people in your marital bed together.

The other version is that the male can teach the innocent girl the joys of sex the way he enjoys them. In this version the process of tarnishing is abut to take place the first time the girl is being taught what she must like, even if she had managed to maintain complete void of preconception which is virtually impossible in today’s world, unless we are talking pedophilia here, which is a curious topic in this context:

I claim, that there are cases of paedophilia where the child’s purity is lost only after they receive psychiatric consultation. Until then they are innocent, whether they liked what happened to them or not, they were innocently discovering what took place. The psychologist will then put THEIR SLANT to the event, quite possibly making it worse, not better. In the worst case scenario, they were together with their true lover (if you believe in reincarnation and soul mates as I do) and they were guided to sexuality by a man who loved them purely and completely, gently without obstruction of societal expectations. The child or teen loves them, as we love our soul mates, but when they are caught and the child is taken to the psychiatrist, she or he is then taught that what happened to them was a crime, something vile and disgusting and that nothing of it was their fault. The assumption is that the child could not have possibly enjoyed what happened because it doesn’t fit the norm – but what if they did? What if that child enjoyed their experience? What if a rape wasn’t a rape simply because the child was under age? What does that make you feel if you loved this man, enjoyed what he did to you, and you felt safe with nobody but them, how would you feel if all of the sudden everyone around you goes bat shit crazy and tears you away from the only person you ever loved and trusted that much? Would you not be shocked to the core? Would you not lose all self-confidence and all of your innocence in that moment, when you know you can’t trust your own emotions or wants? That what you enjoyed was so horribly wrong that you are told that this is the start of a long recovery back to health? Simply, what if? From there on in, you will be stripped from your ability to trust your own emotions; whenever you feel sexual love again, you will doubt the validity of your emotions, and you revert back to the moment when you realize you are sick in the head for wanting that.

Through spiritual discovery that I did independently denouncing myself from all guidance or preconceptions, amongst other things I rediscovered my own sexuality. I have never been much to following sexual traditeons, but now, I’m even less inclined to do so. And with every new fetish that I discover, I challenge myself to understand it, I don’t always share each fetish but at least I can understand them… I even grasped the idea behind a balloon fetish!  There is nothing… distressing about any fetish, if explored from the place of purity and with the mind of the innocent.

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