Advice for spiritual teachers, life coaches and counselors about the True Emotion Mirror phenomena

If you work involves you in guiding or helping people with a spiritual belief of a soulmate love, and if you can entertain the idea of reincarnation, this is for you. I am doing independent research on spiritual love relationships, and have discovered something about “True Emotion Mirrors” and something that closely resembles it in a way that may make your work harder. A relationship between Ancient Souls and an Infant Souls. I have done extensive research to the world of soulmate relationships, and have noticed this, see if this makes sense to you. Another area that I have extensive knowledge in is Soul Ages, and this has brought up a phenomena that very closely resembles a True Emotion Mirror relationship, to such extent that, especially when described by an Infant level chaser is almost impossible to differentiate from the real thing at first glance.

Warning: This post is NOT a good post to read in the mindset of “am I an Infant in love with an Ancient” because a) there are other Soul Age levels in between and b) A LOT of the True Emotion Mirror relationships look like this from the inside – you DO NEED AN OUTSIDER to tell you whether this is it or not.

I am a certified life coach, spiritual theorist and I specialise in spiritual relationships. Also, my qualifications are the same as Sigmund Freud’s. 😉 Please see how I compile my theories here.

Firstly, people who believe in True Emotion Mirrors believe in a soul split into two halves in the beginning of time, and that these two halves were meant to be together. As I have done my independent research into this matter, I have found that this is (quite obviously) false, but not completely without a basis in reality. I believe that the traditional soulmate idea is closer to the truth, and what is often called “True Emotion Mirrors” are perfectly compatible souls in every way, and who have also spent several life times together creating a near unbreakable bond that I have renamed (to avoid confusion with the excising True Emotion Mirror theory) as True Emotion Mirror bond. (See the soulmate Typology chart.) My theory differs in a way that this bond is created naturally, in time, and as it is a person’s right to choose who they spend time with and whose values and personality they appreciate, how they fall in love and live their lives this means that the bonds are very different to one another and can be multiple, homosexual and even polygamousORpolygynandrous in nature.

The second variable to this situation are Soul Ages. (See chart.) This is simply put the soul’s developmental stage they have reached through their incarnations. They are VERY EASILY comparable to child’s development, but spanning across lifetimes rather than person’s natural life. They are roughly separated into six developmental levels; Infant, Child, Teen, Adult, Old and Ancient. Now, when True Emotion Mirrors are in question, the other soul ages are fairly realistic about what a relationship is like and they can accurately evaluate their own emotions compared to the emotions of others, but Infant Souls give us trouble because they are a bit different to the rest of us in many ways, and those differences make them more spiritually aware than the rest of us, but also a lot more naive. Physically they are adults, and also very intuitive, so they make it extremely difficult for an older soul to evaluate whether their interpretation of the situation is even remotely consistent with the actual events. As they are, on the surface, perfectly functional, normal adults, it leaves us little clues about their soul age initially, but there is something that puts up a red flag immediately; They are often clumsy and unrefined in their manners, but very, very friendly and trusting. Additionally, they are incredibly naive for their age, often virgins or have a fear of sexual contact. They also seem to have no clear idea about how they compare to other people; unrealistic self-image. The object of their love is very often unattainable by anyone else’s standard, and their description of the relationship they have – when you hone it to the detail – is based on very little actual proof  of shared emotions, as do MANY True Emotion Mirror relationships, which makes this twice as difficult. The main difference is that as an outsider, you see these two being completely incompatible and your customer’s hopes unrealistic. Any True Emotion Mirror relationship exists between equal people who even look the same – often like siblings or a parent and a child. Unfortunately some of you may have difficulty asking for a photograph which would tell you a thousand words worth. True Emotion Mirror relationships are also curious in a way that there is often NO relationship at all, because both parties render into teenagers at the sight of each other, or the other one “runs” at sight. In the case of Infant-Ancient relationship, there has usually been A relationship, albeit a short one, ended by the Ancient party, in other words, the Ancient already has had time to make up their mind about the other party, but the Infant is not accepting their rejection. The Infant Souls, who are at very early development stage (you know instantly that they are not entirely normal) can easily mistake friendliness for romantic interest. They are normally sexually uninteresting, so the opposite gender will avoid them simply for the reason of not giving them any ideas, but sometimes the Ancients try to rise above it and at least be a friend to them. That is something the Infant (phase 3) often mistakes for romantic interest.

If you have a True Emotion Mirror relationship in your hands, the chaser WILL ACCEPT a THEORETICAL possibility that they have been mistaken. An Infant Soul rarely does, and when they do, their acceptance that they might have been mistaken feels false or “saying what they know you want to hear”. A phase 3 Infant can without any problems talk about their “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” who they haven’t even spoken to in private before. Especially male True Emotion Mirror will gladly accept that she might no love him, because he has such huge admiration towards her that he understands easily why she wouldn’t give him the time of day. Women are a little more troublesome due to the culture in which women live; in a word; princess and fairy tales. They want their Prince in Shining Armour, and are very reluctant to let go of one that they see fitting into the role. A level headed woman will accept there is a chance he will never come around, but an Infant Soul woman will insist that they were meant to be together and their obsession is boundless. Facebook stalking is a must. Their conversation is often repetitive and tedious to listen to, where as a True Emotion Mirror (Ancient) would be more calm about their feelings and probably seeing you for something unrelated or are mainly seeking for someone to talk to. They are less confused and anxious, and their attitude is more along the lines of “we’ll see” although their feelings would be intense. They are prepared to live a life alone: “Can’t help it that I love him, I just do, what do I do now?” If they believe in the True Emotion Mirror idea, try and sell them the soulmate theory, although even with Ancients it can be very difficult if not impossible until they discover it to be true on their own. (It is normal.)

The reason why Infant Souls have such hard time with this is that they have no experience in how love feels like, not even from a past life memory perspective. They would not see much of the difference between a romance described in romantic comedy and a drama. They are possibly suckers for romantic comedy, unless taught not to be by someone else. As they haven’t yet been put in their place by older souls; this will happen gradually like a puppy is trained in a pack of dogs, they haven’t got their social rules figured out yet. As we are living in such polite cultures (and political correctness is making it even harder for them), they don’t get negative feedback about their behaviour making learning social rules very difficult and slow, and as they are naturally positive and kind, they think everyone is kind, too – until they are hurt, after which their anger flares up uncontrollably and viciously. As quick as they are to anger, one kind word from the object of their wrath is enough to turn them around completely. (Easy targets for abusive relationships, but even they are not always what they look like with Infant Souls. Read more on that, especially the Unflushable Girlfriend bit.)

Unfortunately how do you convince an Infant Soul to let go of their unrequitted love is beyond me still – I will let you know when I figure that one out – but there is one positive: Both the True Emotion Mirror Theory and True Emotion Mirror Theory agree on one thing: You have to be psychologically in a good place to reunite with your True Emotion Mirror. This works, because these soulmate bonds are SO INTENSE, that you need every ounce of your self esteem to believe that you are good enough for them, and that you can stand in front of them and let them see how you feel. You also need your self-esteem to stop yourself from running away from them, or from reading into their words something that wasn’t said: “I fucking need you!” -> “Don’t swear at me!!” -> “You think you’re too good for me!” -> End of relationship. (Real life example.) There is also another layer: Because True Emotion Mirrors are perfectly compatible, ANY SOCIETAL INFLUENCE on the person’s true self, their Authentic Way of Being, is poison to their relationship. The other may take one look at them and think: “I love her, but I don’t know why I detest the way she is!!” They remember them from a past life, but as the culture has shaped the way they are, they reject the part that isn’t authentically them. This will hopefully work as  motivation to self-observation and -improvement, but, to be honest, with Infant Souls it’s like pouring water into a bottomless well. Their appetite for this is endless, but they seem to retain nothing… What you told them last week is all new information next week – apart from the stuff you wish they’d forget: “You said he sounds like a nice guy!” 😉 They remember what has happened to them like it was on film, but they don’t remember stuff they have “understood” during conversations. They get it, and forget it. But, as long as you’re getting paid! 😉

Ancient Soul and Infant Soul relationship

It is very common for an Infant Soul to fall in love with an Ancient Soul. This is because an Ancient Soul is one that has reincarnated so often, that they have an incredible amount of charisma, they are beautiful, talented and refined in every way. They know people, manners and their craft inside out, and due to their soul age they can treat others with such charm that the Infant Soul easily elevates them above all others in a way that seems like True Emotion Mirror / True Emotion Mirror love relationship – only one-sided. Unfortunately, as Infant Soul is completely without ego, they cannot see any reason why this person wouldn’t love them back – after all, love is what everyone wants, and they have bundles to offer.

Infant Souls are often people who older souls (everyone) avoid to an extent. They are overly friendly and at the same time, not very interesting, and sometimes even annoying, and therefore it takes a bigger person to be kind to them. Kindness is the only thing an Infant Soul values in a person, and they would never demand any other quality of a person other than kindness, and, as truth would have it, there’s nobody as kind as an Infant Soul is to a person they deem worthy of their kindness. To an Ancient Soul, being kind is no effort at all, and they usually try to rise above their own feelings and include the Infant Soul into their group of friends or circles, just as they feel a little sorry for them. (Phase 3 Infant.) It depends on the phase of the Infant Soul how dramatic these relationships get, and with how little encouragement the Ancient Soul has given them, but usually what it comes down to is the Infant Soul’s lack of (desirable) suitors, not being used to kind and friendly people (they react to any unkindness extremely strongly, or ignore it completely if they have respect for the offender), and the Infant’s wish to see themselves just like everyone else; They seem to emulate the behaviour of older souls by believing that the relationship that they have is similar to the ones their friends have.

In case these two have actually have had a relationship, which is entirely possible, the Ancient has left them but the Infant refuses to accept the validity of the breakup. A normal person understands that at fist we may expect too much of a relationship and that we want to believe things to be something that we deep down know they are not. We may say things that we know we’re going to regret, but we say it anyway because we want them to be true or to become true. Also, we understand that when we meet someone we like, (Infants can be quite endearing as they are completely without ego, excitable, curious and unconventional) we want to boost their ego a bit and tell them nice things about themselves, and be extra kind to them. When an Infant is broken up with, they don’t understand the change of heart. They are very much like a dog in a human body; loving, inappropriate and fiercely loyal. When their trust is broken, they take it to heart. They are wrath in physical form. They believe everything that the Ancient told them is a blatant lie, and that everything they tell them is intended only to hurt their feelings. This makes it difficult, because when they hear about True Emotion Mirrors and soulmates, they believe that the anger that their parted Ancient friend displays is merely “ego talking”, a defence mechanism, or a way to get back at them. Unfortunately, they do not have the capacity to consider the option, that maybe “please go away” actually means “please go away”. They may even think it is not possible for anyone actually meaning something like that, but that everyone, always want to be loved by anyone who loves them, and this is only a test to see if they really love them. To an Infant Soul, persistence is the key to a relationship, where as an Ancient prefers things to fall into place without much ado. Ancients love easy life, they love to work in fun forms of business, and they are very relaxed and easy going, something that initially charms the Infant who is always in a bit of a turmoil inside. When an Infant Soul disturbs the Ancient’s relaxed life flow (or Old Soul 6’s tireless work flow), the Ancient can get vicious when protecting their turf from the intrusion. At first, they will ask nicely, but if it doesn’t work, they will scream loud and use force if necessary to remove them from their lives.

Initially, the Ancient Souls feel safe for the Infants because they are charismatic, confident and talented, even protective and reliable – until the Infant Soul pushes their way into their lives uninvited or reads too much into their relationship. They also trust the Ancient’s calm demeanour to not attack them sexually, which is very important to phase 1-4 Infant, even 5 in some cases. Ironically, Ancients are very sexual beings, and the Infant Soul’s reluctance and fear is one of the things that will make Ancient think twice about a relationship with them. (If the Infant is sexual, they are too unrefined, clumsy and sexually unimaginative to hold the Ancient’s interest for long. Perfect example would be Channel 4’s Green Wing -sitcom’s Alan Statham, Infant, and Joanna Claw, very bored Old Soul – most fun you’ll ever have researching! (Victoria Pile, Green Wing, Channel 4, Great Britain, 2004-2007)

Ancient Souls are VERY OFTEN mistaken for a narcissist. A lot of the things that they do is misunderstood by younger souls, and taken personally when none was intended. This is never as true as it is with Infant Souls, who do not have a concept of privacy, private area, personal space or even “acquittance”. Best Friend Forever or a Mortal Enemy, roughly said; that is all that they know. They simply want their freedom; when the “narcissist” is simply refusing to do as told or expected to, it’s an Ancient, but when they are trying to control others and their behaviour, it’s a form of narcissism. (Of course when someone refuses to do as is expected they “force” others to go around them, but in reality it is their choice whether they do so or not – everyone has the right to be solitary and separate themselves from their family members who they did not choose. A little more difficult with spouses, but I’m rambling.) It is very difficult for an Infant Soul to remain calm, and half the time they think the Ancient is Satan incarnated, but the next time you talk to them, they are God. A person in a True Emotion Mirror relationship loves everything about their counterpart, and do not lose that love even when parted. If you ask them if they would change anything about their soulmate, they say “Not a thing. They are perfect.” You will think they are unrealistic, but I vouch for them – their partner/object of their love isn’t a perfect person, simply perfect for them. (The best advice for them; allow your soulmate to see who you truly are.) Ask the same of an Infant Soul, and you get a list of flaws: They’re full of ego, they are mean, hateful, sexist, violent, perhaps, they are not in touch with their emotions, they are afraid of love, they are commitment phobic, they are still too wrapped up in the physical, they are unenlightened, they simply want an easy relationship with the person they are with and so forth; all this to explain why they don’t love your client, many things on this list is a copy from a True Emotion Mirror website.

Unfortunately it is difficult to say to what extent an Infant Soul’s assessment of the situation can be trusted. They miss a lot of subtleties, in fact, most of them, and to them an Ancient’s irritability comes as a total surprise after they’ve missed all their polite cues to please leave them alone. They will not read between the lines, but it is only after the Ancient loses their temper, when the Infant starts to believe that there’s something wrong with their relationship. A personal example: Once invited a practical stranger Phase 3 Infant I met at a hobby group over for a chat. We had a lovely talk, and she stayed until 11 pm, although my then husband was hinting that he’d be ready for bed soon. Every Wednesday following, she came back, because she assumed that this invitation was on-going (similarly to an arrangement she had with her best friend), although I never even uttered “let’s do this again sometime”, I never intended to repeat the invitation. She instantly started treating us as if we were her very best and dearest friends – treating us very much in a manner of a stereotypical mother-in-law – including cleaning up for me – I’m a messy person. We had several talks about boundaries, and by the next week she always forgot them all – she took these calm but stern talks as some kind of tantrums on our part and once we had settled the matter, she figured it was now okay to ignore everything we had agreed on. (This was about much more than just her visits, too, particularly about her habit of disturbing my then husband at his work place while he was with clients.) After TWO written letters and a major argument, we had to ban her from his place of work and ask her to never come back again, which nearly broke our hearts because we knew all of her intrusion was because she loved us so. Having said that, we both must stick to that, because neither one of us can deal with her complete lack of boundaries and constant intrusions into matters that do not concern her. This was only a friendship – a love relationship with an phase 3 Infant is a lot trickier, especially if they’ve heard of True Emotion Mirrors.

Why is it so easy to believe it’s a True Emotion Mirror?

Even well-trained spiritual teachers find it very difficult to dispute the fact that the Infant Soul has found their True Emotion Mirror. This is especially true do to one simple fact: The Infants are naturally psychic, and that means whoever they are focussed on, they can pick up on their emotions instantly. I have had two close Infant friends, one mentioned above and another, a boyfriend, Phase 6 or 7 Infant. She would have prophetic dreams about me, and he would know my menstrual cycle without having met me for days. They were both annoyingly accurate too, they’d know negative emotions of mine that I didn’t want them to know, because I thought that would hurt their feelings. He was also similarly connected to his ex-wife, whose emotions he was aware off even after separation.

True Emotion Mirror signs were also present in my relationship with my Infant boyfriend, very strong ones, but unlike True Emotion Mirror theorists, I believe they simply point towards an interesting person (“check him out”) and should not be taken as an order to spend the rest of eternity together.

Both of these people are also my soulmates from previous life times, and we share few amazing past life memories, but even that doesn’t spell out “destiny”.

Ancient Souls, although intuitive, don’t often get telepathic out of the blue but develop the skill gradually – unless with a True Emotion Mirror. They are more in control of their spirituality, and their spiritual awakening happens under that control, too. Infant Souls live still very much in that mode – very much in tune to other people on a telepathic way.

Plug – more reading material

I must now plug my own eBook that contains loads more information about Soul Age Levels, which is to be followed by at least two more volumes; one focusing on soulmate relationships and development of sexuality and the other focusing solely on Ancient Souls. You might also want to see the information from Michael Teachings as well – they study soul ages as an additional overleaf to personality – but they stop at Old Soul phase 7, after which they belong souls do not reincarnate too often anymore (I say we do, the older we get, the more we love life!) I started studying Soul Age Levels on the basis of Michael Teachings, but have made many alterations based on my own insight. (Stevens, J, PhD and Warwick-Smith, S, The Michael Handbook, A channelled system for self understanding, Warwick Press, Sonoma, California, 1990.)

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