Allow yourself to be a problem for others (Speak the truth, FEEL the truth)

If you find yourself in a situation where there are a ton of people trying to push you into a different directions in life, (or you merely FEEL pushed,) and you already know they’re not going to get anywhere because well, you know yourself and you know the direction that they’re pushing you into is not right for you, the following is your guide to freedom.

The reason why certain people can’t let go of pushing you into directions of their choosing is that there’s something you’re not really allowing them to see/feel about you. It may be your shame of NOT wanting to play along, as in you may not want to get married, have kids, but you kinda feel like you should want those things… Or you feel like you want to pursue a career somewhere else than the 9-5 market… Or that you don’t really want to date or even that sex isn’t really your thing but you fear that it might offend people if you said no to them. Usually, the reason why you’d hide this is that you fear you might offend people, that you might be a problem, or that it would create a problem if you went along with what they suggest.

What they likely interpret this as, tho, is that you’re INSECURE and fear you’re not good enough, which is SOMETIMES the case, but rarely if A LOT OF pushing is needed. People who push back hard usually simply don’t want to do what they’re being asked to do. Now.

Give yourself the permission to be an ungrateful, difficult, bratty kid, even if you’re an adult. FEEL the truth for yourself. Give yourself the permission to be truthfully forthright, and don’t pretend to go along with things for any other reason but the fact someone is pushing you into it like you were a reluctant 7-year-old afraid of the dentist.

Go along with government requirements but be truthful: “Hey. I don’t want this job, but because my benefits require me to apply to this job, I’m doing it. I’d rather cut my wrists than work for you, but having said that, I can NOT have the job if you offer it to me, can I? Those are the rules. So. If you want me, I’ll be here at whatever time of day you want me to, but I won’t be happy.” Do you think you’ll get the job? Hell naw, right? (Maybe in the movies.)

Tell the truth. Be a pest. Allow yourself to become a problem for those who want to fix your problems and let THEM decide your problems aren’t the kind they can fix for you. Tell them that you don’t want to get married, tell them that OK, SINCE YOU ASK, I don’t want to go on a date with Kate, because Kate is fat, wears floral prints, and doesn’t appear to be entirely smart. Be honest. Tell them how it is. They’ll find you a new date for sure, or leave you the F alone.

Stop preserving the feelings of grown people. They can deal with their hurt emotions on their own and learn not to push their noses where it doesn’t belong.

Sometimes this even works when you simply DECIDE to be honest about something, sometimes before you’ve actually said a word, yet.

Do this with everything.

Stop lying to save people’s feelings. It’s not good for them, nor is it good for you.

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