As a strategy, refusing sex from a guy is a terrible one.

Mind you, I’m saying STRATEGY. This is the keyword here: strategy to bag the bloke. I don’t mean you should sleep with every guy who wants to sleep with you at once; I’m saying being calculative about who you sleep with is a terrible strategy. Sex should happen when you both want it. Sex should happen every time you both want it. In addition sex shouldn’t happen in any other situation or for any other reason, but you both want it at that time. Everything else is a bad idea. If you never want sex, you should never have sex, not even if you’re the only person you know who doesn’t have it.

Now. The reason why refusing sex is a bad strategy is that it amplifies very temporary feelings of common lust and triggers a narcissistic response in a man, NOT love and respect as intended. Also, the only women who can carry this through with any level of success are women who are a little better-looking than what he authentically should have or exceptionally beautiful to a handsome guy. (And then, she cannot string him along for that long and has to give it up soon enough.)

Force him to know you.

If you’re going to try and force him to get to know you before you give him sex, you’ll start manipulating your relationship before it’s even started. You’re using sex as a bargaining tool, as a weapon of control. This isn’t cool.

You’re “forcing him” to see you as a human being. That said, you start with MISTRUST of him or his whole gender… and yourself. You fear that he can’t see you as a purely sexual object, which, I guarantee you, a man in love wouldn’t do, anyway.

At worst, after you do decide to sleep with him, he’ll see you as a fuck buddy at the end of it all, because you’re a friend he’s now fucking. You may want all that love, but to him, you’re just an easy access to sex that he has more than richly earned – exactly the opposite than what you wanted.

Trigger the narcissist.

The reason why refusing sex works so well is that it triggers the narcissist to chase you forever. If you’re the only one who hasn’t slept with him, he’ll have to have you, and then, once he has you, he’ll forget you existed. Granted, that can also be how a Vaporizing Spirit Mirror will treat you, but a narcissist won’t be interested in a conquest he’s already made.

What you do if you want true love is follow your nature.

To be honest, too many people strategize in love for this to be 100% effective. That said, if you don’t want to be the problem in your True Emotion Mirror relationship, you’ll have to stop strategizing. The only strategy you get to have is NO strategy.

You sleep with people who you want to sleep with – I don’t care how many – and you don’t sleep with and don’t give attention to those who you are not interested in. Be particularly careful not to sleep with/give attention to close calls you have to “give a chance to,” because they’re more than likely your True Emotion Mirrors friends. ;p Remove all fake, manufactured, and calculative. That’s all manipulative; manipulating either yourself or them. That is no way to build a relationship.

ESPECIALLY eliminate the habit of “giving people chances,” especially if they haven’t begged you for one. (If they’re begging for your attention, it maybe something worth looking into, oddly enough.)

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