Asking for blind trust and tests of loyalty is not romantic – it’s a scam.

Online or offline, scammers trust on two character traits: Blind trust and loyalty. If you have to PROVE THESE, you’re dealing with a scammer. If you have to BRAVE YOURSELF, it’s a scam. A well-intentioned, empathic person will be more than ready to prove their trustworthiness to you. And that makes them a potential victim rather than the scammer. Still, you have other options in this equation than choosing from being a victim or a scammer, you could, also, be wise.

Sure, there are people who instantly make you trust them and feel inexplicable loyalty toward them. They don’t need to ask for it, and they are definitely not relying on you to feel these feelings, or anger at you or shame you for not feeling trust and loyalty toward them. Part of the reason why you’d trust someone quite instantly is that they are, indeed, a trustworthy person. You shouldn’t be the one proving to them that they are trustworthy – they should be proving it to you, and you should be proving it to them, not both proving to each other that you’re both, or that one of you is dumb as shit.

Of course, there are also people who don’t trust anybody, no matter what they do to prove themselves. There are people who don’t believe a word that comes out of a man’s or a woman’s mouth simply because of their gender. Non-binary people feel just as untrustworthy for some people simply because they are non-binary. That said, romanticizing blind trust is very unwise.

You need to trust a person’s intelligence and capacity just as much as their intent.

Smart people have trouble trusting people who are not as intelligent as they are. Ordinary people have trouble trusting intelligent people. There’s a good reason for that: Your problems and fears are different because of a vast difference in IQ. Where an intelligent person won’t waste time slaying monsters in your closet, an intelligent person cannot trust a less intelligent person to keep the wheels of their operation running smoothly because they’ve leveled that to their own standard and needs.

Like… Uh. Have you tried to create a new X-account after Musk took over? Their human check is a freaking intelligence test. You won’t get an account under 142 IQ. 😀 (It took me 2 tries, one wrong answer) to figure out what the F I was even supposed to do. Human test my ass.) The point being, that an intelligent person sees the same task or expectation as easy as wink, something they should expect everyone to be able to do with ease, and when they see people fail at a simple task over and over, they’ll start questioning their INTENT, before they consider the problem to be intellectual. And once they consider intelligence being the problem, they’ll lose not only their trust but interest in you… Unless, indeed, they are a scammer, and all of a sudden, you become very interesting to them. They can exploit you.

Scammers need you to believe that it is romantic to have blind trust.

Online scamming is new, yes, but romance scamming is as old as romance itself became fashionable. There’s plenty of reasons for people to scam you into romances; financial reasons are just one them. A narcissist is a romance scammer, whether they operate in real life or online. What they want, at the minimum, is a status uplift, to show up with a partner. And, a person who doesn’t care about how you feel in a relationship, is a type of a scammer. They scam you out of time, feelings, effort, anything that you put into a relationship, for themselves to look good to others – or feel taken care of or whatever perks a profoundly selfish person sees in a relationship.

For a scammer to have a leg to stand on, they need you to believe a few things: It’s your job to trust blindly, be loyal to a cheater, find beauty in the ugly, and to love the unlovable. A good partner will believe it is their job to BE trustworthy, to BE loyal, BE beautiful, and to BE lovable. Not just force you to self-manipulate yourself into accepting that they MUST BE because they want you to see them in that light.

You can also be scammed into a friendship with these ideals. An abuser is always an abuser, no matter whether they do it in person or online.

Now. PLEASE retire the values blind love. It’s for scum. True love is when you can see them with your eyes open, you can see all the way to the back of their brain and love everything you see. When every question you ask is answered, and every answer you get is gold. THAT is true love. And, THAT you can believe exists, but a true lover that requires you to blind yourself… No. They are not real. True love you can feel only if you blind yourself from reality is definitely the fake kind.

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