Be careful about which virtues you use to build your ego – your idea of self.

Let’s say you pride yourself on being ‘loyal.’ Now, you meet someone who from day one grills you on whether you are a loyal person or not. You know what you can be certain of? This person is not going to be an easy ride. You will WANT TO ditch them, and if you now decide it is more important to you to prove to this random person that you’re loyal than what it is to be treated with respect, this person can exploit your loyalty all the way to your grave. You can be loyal to a person who deserves it, sure, but don’t be a loyal person.

Trying to be a good person is a good pursuit, but don’t make it a huge importance to yourself to PROVE to be a good person. To have the reputation of a good person to serve your ego. The next thing you know, you’re there using pronouns like “they/them” and calling an obvious man she, just because you need that person to think you’re a good person – not really because you think those pronouns are a reasonable thing to use. “A good person” is a very vague idea, too, and opinions on what is expected of a good person can be very… Strict and unreasonable. This is why we are in the general mess that we are. Currently, people are trying to hold onto their “good person ego” and avoid negative labels to all their might. (And frankly, men’s penises are being cut off, and women’s vaginas are being carved inside out because people are too afraid of a negative label: “I’ll butcher your genitals for you, just please don’t call me a bigot or old fashioned.” Don’t be such a good person you’ll rather hurt other people just to prove you are nicer than average. Just be GOOD ENOUGH. You have every right to have ISSUES with certain things. (And I bring up trans ideas simply as a very obvious example.)

Accepting, inclusive? Those are traits that you should be careful with because HOW FAR do you have to go to prove yourself not to be a bigot or a racist? Do you have to sleep with everyone who wants you to, just to prove you’re not “discriminating against someone” if you’re single or polyamorous? Do you have to be friends with people who possess a trait you don’t like, or are not comfortable with yet. (And you know how people treat “uncomfortable” these days; it’s rather a jailable offense, so let’s just say that discomfort is a serious issue in some people’s minds, so you can also claim that right to be uncomfortable. Discomfort doesn’t yet mean you’re judging or that you WOULD judge, it’s just that you haven’t processed something to the full extent yet. You haven’t made up your mind so that you WOULD BE comfortable stating a certain opinion.

If your idea of self and your reputation is more important to you than how you feel, think, and act, against yourself or in harmony with yourself, you’re going to do harm to yourself. And I’m not perfect at this myself… But here’s my ego: I tend to think I have to be infallible in order to guide others. I do think it is an unfair expectation to think all coaches and guides, and teachers are without flaws. Goodness. We’re people, and only an idiot would expect anything different. I must rely on YOUR responsibility, too, to know what to take in and what to leave out – even though I do reassure you that it would be a mistake to look away too quickly… To protect your ego.

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