Bonding styles and methods, the Normal Person* thinking and the Savants* thinking

The way the two different thinker types bond is typical to the thinker type, but partially a learned strategy. Some the Savants*, particularly men, have learned the way the Normal Person* form new bonds and relationships, and can be quite good at it, even though that type of bonding wouldn’t be entirely natural to them.

For instance; An Savant* would naturally always bond through a calm, deep conversation, even wordless moments that simply leave you to sense each other’s energy fully. If this is a romantic bond, the Savants* would, by their nature, take the relationship to the bedroom on the first night without any hesitation at all, and they could, easily, start a permanent relationship without ever going on an actual date.

A Normal Person* bonding always starts with breaking the other one’s will first. They attack verbally, sometimes even physically, in order to show interest and that they are serious. They would, when completely in love, break the barriers by force, to create intimacy. They attack, annoy and pick a fight, in order to get the other one confess to them what it is that they are thinking.

A natural the Savants* is likely to first be calm and intimate, but if something delays the bond from developing that very night, they may, particularly if they are male, decide to attack their True Emotion Mirror to see what it is that she wants. If she doesn’t attack him back, because she is also a Savants*, the likely result is that he backs off before he does too much damage. A Normal Person* would keep attacking their object of love repeatedly, until they break or leave them permanently.

A Normal Person* who is forced into a Savants* thinking mode would never even know if they are loved if the people around them won’t engage in a fight with them or behave obnoxiously otherwise. They always need to fight or see the ugliness of a person in order to feel loved. This, to the Normal Person*, means that the other person trusts them to see them at their worst, and that they trust the bond to be strong enough for bad behavior. The Savants* never feel this way, but consider attacks as a desperate measure that will have to seice fast IF there is no positive response from the other – and the Savants* should become concious of this, at least stay for a full fight if you start picking a fight, because attack and run method is both ineffective and very irritating to both the Savants* AND the Normal Person* alike.

The trouble is this: Typically, when the Savants* start strongly raising their voice let alone get physically violent, they are COMPLETELY and UTTERLY fed up with the person and want to chase them away permanently. However, the Normal Person* feel that a person who is constantly arguing with them holds a trust towards them, they feel this is an absolute sign of love, trust, respect, and devotion to them, when it is nothing of the kind. This can lead to abusive relationships, where one partner is trying to get out by “beating sense into their partner” and the other is foolishly holding onto the belief that this person is expressing trust but has some issues with the level of violence they are exhibiting but that they should be able to teach them how to keep things in check even when they lose their temper… That, in case they’ve partnered up with a Savants* will never happen because the Savants* reacts to his freedom having been stolen, rather than some frustration that they are taking out on their loved ones like the Normal Person* do. (The Normal Person* have a bad habit of believing that They Never anger anyone, and if someone is attacking them, it means they are the trusted punching bag, the mom that a guy feels safe to attack when the world is treating him ill.)

The Savants* feel like they might be the Normal Person* when it comes to their True Emotion Mirrors. Now, another quirky abusive sounding difference between these two thinker types is, that while the Normal Person* believe a relationship must withstand all levels of emotional and physical abuse, a Savants* usually wants to exclude all other people from their relationship, short for their own children and parents. Their friendships are secondary in value, and they want to completely surround themselves with their romantic lovers or be together with their one love only. They will always try to relieve their relationships from all external distractions, which, to the Normal Person* is absolute form abuse or neediness. An Savant* will go out to show off their lover(s), and the Normal Person* will go out to bond with their other loved ones, as in friends and family, who, also, are often stronger loves than their romantic partner.

So. The MAIN DIFFERENCE about the Savants* thinking and the Normal Person* thinking is the ideal of protecting each other’s personality and opinions, versus attempting to change them through any means necessary, violence included. The Savants* respect everyone’s right to be the way they are, and disrespect NOTHING as much as people who try to control others and change them into their own liking. The Normal Person* feel the exact opposite way, and will always try to change others into themselves as a favor to them; “I will tell  you how to be my friend/lover!” The Savants* thinking men are rather the Normal Person* in this regard; They do expect a female to tell them how they are expected to behave in a relationship, although they strongly prefer to be left alone and loved for who they are, but both types love to be shown that they are welcome to stay, and wanted where they are, with the difference that the Savants* always need an exit, no matter how small or unlikely it would be that they’d ever need to use the exit, but they ALWAYS need to know that they have some way of leaving the relationship if it gets too much. (They also may instinctively think in terms of eternity rather than one life, therefore they always need that option to leave, because forever is a long time but should they mean ‘forever’ they do mean millions of years, potentially!)

The Normal Person* want all exits closed, no matter how badly they would fit together with the people inside. They want the deal done, sealed and unrevokable. They will show their love by sealing all exits and making sure you know they’ve left you no way out – and that’s how they want to be loved, too.

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