Celebrity: use wannabe friends as friend-filters.

As a celebrity, you can feel isolated and barred from the people you want to make friends with and flooded by those you don’t want. The ivory tower can keep many people you miss by your very soul away from you… But there is a solution that cures a couple of problems simultaneously.

You’ve got friends using you as a lure to make friends for themselves, right? There are a ton of people who try to appear as stepping stones while, in fact, functioning like traps instead. You can make a deal with these people. They need to know who you want and bring them to you, and they can keep the rest of them. But they must deliver quality people that YOU will want in your life and not hold anyone back… Lest they’ll lose this privilege with you.

A good filter friend will have different but similar ultimate friends. They will gladly give up your ultimate people and keep using you as a filter where they catch your leftovers and collect the benefits of your public relations.

Filter friends will not need to do much.

With social media being the way it is, just appearing on your social circles sometimes is enough to make a friend into a filter. The key is that they need to seem approachable and accessible so people will easily consider them a clever resource to approach them to relay a message to you or to get them into the circles. Depending on how you look at it, you may be open to some requests, but it’s a given that you don’t want most of it.

What your filter friends need is visible contact with you. You reply to their social media posts or follow them publicly. Sometimes, you should give them a shout-out of some description. They are probably better off not appearing with you in too many photos and NEVER in your private home or at too many exclusive events so they don’t suddenly appear unapproachable. Your filter friends should also be instructed to keep their social media following reasonably low so they don’t appear unapproachable. (They can use apps to force unfollowing on some social platforms.)

Occasionally, you should use casual phrases like “give me a call later” to signal that they have direct contact with you while remaining approachable to the outsider.

Different strokes for different folks

Avoid a major problem with this by instructing your friends according to your preferences. Do you like people who are willing to go the extra mile for you like a some type of a slave, or do you prefer people who wouldn’t beg anything from anyone? The thing is, people fall into these two categories, and if your filter friend belongs to a different group, they may bring you the wrong type of people, assuming that’s who you want.

If you don’t like (respect) people who beg, you must instruct your filter friends NEVER to hold a bar very high on someone they know you would love. Tell them to not make them ask twice. You tell your filter friends that they better know exactly what you like and deliver those people to you. Your friends must give them the info you’ve prepared for this and not humiliate them. The Old Souls* can easily use the Young Soul* as a filter friend as long as they understand they cannot make your friends beg.

If you like people begging, you can do the opposite. Ask your friends to see who is willing to beg and go the extra mile for you.

Good filter friends won’t want your ultimate people, anyway.

Also, make this quite clear: your filter friends (partial value mirrors to you) won’t want your ultimate friends, anyway. To make this work for you, you must be careful about who you consider a filter friend and who you keep as your real friends. If you know you are always competing over the same men and women, do not use that person as a filter friend – but consider taking them to the insider circles as a polyamorous partner if possible. This requires a bit of soul-searching, but for the purpose of this post, let’s just agree not to use them as filter friends. (This means you can’t have them linked to your social media or have a visible public friendship with them if they’re not a proper insider; a trusted friend.

Mutual benefit.

They get friends, sex partners, romantic partners, connections, endorsement deals, etc. without you having to pay them to keep the gates for you.

The danger being that your friend is your True Emotion Mirror and you treat them like a Trail Companion* – they’ll get your mutual friends and lovers, and you’ll wind up with leftovers.

Maybe you won’t make it clear enough who you want in and who you want out, and they keep the wrong people as they forward “the best ones” to you – but your best is their second best and vice versa… So, for this to work, you have to make the rules and your expectations clear, and be willing to cut public ties to a person who cannot offer that mutual benefit to you. (It only needs unfollowing them, and stopping interactions, doesn’t need to be dramatic.)

the Timeless and the Modern have different virtues as a friend filter.

the Timeless are naturally approachable and friendly. They are very good judges of character, they’re honest and reliable. Their downside is that they are very cautious, they can be TOO respectful of others, and they can be quite shy in some sense.

the Modern in their turn can be a little bit of a mixed bag of vice and virtue, but they do have one very relevant positive trait in this context: They are not shy, they are hands-on and task-oriented. You name a person you want, and they’ll get them to you. When they see a mutual benefit, they’ll make sure this partnership works. The downside is that once they get what they want out of you, they’ll bail, but the positive is that they’ll probably forget all about you in a split second and won’t be wasting too much time gossiping about you – IF they truly got what they wanted.

Subscribe to get a Daily Message