Communicating with the Survivalist* as a cat-person (about your future plans.)

the Survivalist* would probably be relieved to know that when the Idealists* talk to you about “their problems,” they are not actually talking about their problems, but they are simply chatting. They are intelligent people. Therefore, they find whatever small problems they have intriguing and exciting. They focus on the problem as if it was a hobby puzzle they wish to solve. Sometimes, they’d love some company to do this. You don’t REALLY need to help them with it; just throw in ideas if you have any.

As a Idealists*, you’d be wise to know that if the Survivalist* doesn’t seem to be butting out of your issues, it’s because they think you want them to solve all of your problems if you reveal such a weakness as “having a problem” to them. They feel sharing problems with them is a sign of trust and ALSO a sign of weakness and submission. They’d never do this themselves unless they wanted to offload their entire life on another person’s shoulders. Therefore, they make terrible listeners, and it would be best if you didn’t put them in that position at all.

They don’t really listen.

the Survivalist* may also listen to you talking superficially, so they don’t have to be too critical of your thinking. That might put an end to your pity party, you know. Instead, they focus on something irrelevant to keep you talking so you get the attention they think you’re seeking. You may be seeking accord, permission to be who you are, and an agreement that your foolish plan has merit, but they think it’s attention-seeking… After all, your plan sounds foolish. Therefore, they don’t take you seriously, and it’s infuriating to a Idealists*. Still, you shouldn’t take this personally, that’s simply how the Survivalist* deal with things they don’t really know how to handle. KNOW that your the Survivalist*people love you regardless, and you don’t have to achieve anything to earn that love – the Idealists* are a little different… Therefore, you don’t need permission from your the Survivalist*family and friends; you’ll just need to TELL THEM THE RULES.

If you’re trying to tell them to “butt out” and “stop fussing about it, it’s not a big deal!” If you don’t want to talk about something with the Survivalist* you know, simply tell them you don’t want to talk about it with them, you’ve made up your mind, and the conversation is over. The more blunt you are, the better, but try not to be angry. You should also switch the topic to something light and happy, meaningless stuff, like a Netflix show you’ve watched or someone’s new baby. (“Meaningless,” I said, lol. You get the idea. Chit chat. Light, happy. At least as meaningless as you can muster. “I found this new nightclub in town…”)

This is to signal to the Survivalist* that your problems are over and you are no longer distressed about it. I know you never were, but the best result you can probably hope for is that they think you have now solved your issues. They’ll never believe that you didn’t have a real problem anyway (except them, maybe,) so let that go. It is what it is. Fix your ego later.

What you find easy is not easy for all.

People also tend to assume – this probably goes for the Idealists* as well – that what we find both easy (natural) and meaningful to do, is going to be natural and meaningful for our children (and friends) as well. It isn’t so. You may be a world-renowned classical singer, and you think your job is the easiest in the world. On the other hand, your brick-layer son might find it nothing but arduous to try and hold a note but find it extremely relaxing to put up a wall… Brick-by-brick. It is not smart to think that an apple doesn’t fall far from the tree – but sometimes the tree grows on a hill and that apple rolls down all the way to the town…

Still, we all tend to struggle during our day at work. Brick laying is a hard job. It’s physically exhausting. (I assume.) Classical singers face pressure and critique that sometimes is crushing. A bank teller will be stressed over little errors they might have made, and a school teacher worth their salt will be constantly worried about their pupils. All jobs, no matter how much they mean to you, are NOT EASY. But a person who DOESN’T CARE about what you care about tends to listen to it as “I don’t know why you put up with that crap; just try something EASIER.” You know, like… Quantum physics or some other relaxing job. (A quantum physicist in my head goes: “Whaaat?! It’s a nice, jolly job!”

What seems hard to you, maybe someone else’s bliss.

Therefore, the question is always: “What do you want to do?” (For reals people, there ARE people who want to be strippers, porn stars, sex workers, even, there are people who WANT TO do jobs that you would never touch with a six-foot pole and assume that they are the worst jobs in the world. NEVER EVER assume another person would NOT want to do THAT JOB, as there is always someone who wants to do THAT EXACTLY.) Then, when you hear what they want, help them get there. Don’t ask questions, don’t suggest alternatives unless they seem ultimately reluctant to keep going, as, well… Sometimes people don’t answer that question truthfully. (Say, you want to be a porn star, and your mom’s asking… You may, initially, at least, lie…)

That’s the thing, tho. What you find hard and awful may be someone’s pleasantly challenging little pastime puzzle. For me, personally, NOTHING in this world felt inspiring… Until I thought… “Oh. I want to understand everything. I want to fix EVERYONE’S PROBLEMS.”

That’s what this blog is here for. (But mind you… Fixing everyone’s problems doesn’t mean I’ll give you a fish when you’re hungry. I’ll let you starve until you’re hungry enough to learn how to fish for yourself. I am not offering a temporary fix, I’m going to force you to be fixed, and you don’t even have to play along.)

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