Dating after divorce – You’re too old for another compromise, man

Dating after divorce is a bit different than what it was the last time you did it. You think all these young kids are doing it so differently. But you know what? You’re not going to be dating those kids (most likely), you’ll still be dating people about the same age as you are. If not, you are exciting to them, you are the one with the experience. You don’t need to hide your age, flaunt it.

What also has changed, is you. With age, comes wisdom. With age, also comes sexual frustration. 😉 You are more equipped to say what relationship advice was valid and what wasn’t. What do you really need in a relationship is no longer as much a hypothetical. You know more what doesn’t work and what does work. Instead of lowering your standards, I want you to raise them. You’re smarter now. Less needy. Less desperate to prove yourself.

Sex and marriage

It is not just a joke that marriage kills sex. It’s a fact. Only a select few people find it to be the opposite. Marriage works for a handful of people in terms of sustained sexual attraction. Most people need some kind of a external influence to keep them interested in their wife or husband after marriage. The reason being that for a thrill-seeker, marriage is way, way, way too safe. There are no more risks in it – unless you’re a cheater in which case marriage is essential, but most people love the risk of emotional hurt. They enjoy their partner’s freedom to choose anyone else but winding up choosing you. It makes you feel amazing.

When the freedom to choose another is taken away, it kills the spirit. It’s no longer exciting. When marriage, on top of that, loads on demands on top of demands, including the unrealistic expectation to get turned on in a non-challenging safe situation everything is a chore. It’s not that you couldn’t be excited about the same person for the rest of your life, you can… Just that… You might need to be excited about several specific individuals for the rest of your life.

Online dating after divorce

The most effective and liberating way to date these days must be online dating. That’s where most dating after divorce is done, I’m certain. Don’t fear. They’re still just people. You are not dating bits and bytes, you’re dating humans. They’re at their computer the same as you are.

What makes online dating so marvelous is that you can say out loud what it is that you’re looking for and not beat around the bush about it. You’re there to attract the few right people, not the masses. Online dating is not mass marketing although a lot of people take it that way.

Figuring out what it is that you TRULY want

Now it’s time to get real with yourself before you start dating again. It’s time to face some personal monsters and shake hands with them. I always say I do not fall in love with a man until I’ve met his demons. The demons are what makes you exciting and… well, you. The good parts give you approval, acceptance, they make you into a good guy, but the demons are what people fall in love with in each other. The bad stuff. The forbidden. What makes you a unique, beautiful beast.

Don’t let your age get you down. No matter what age you are, if you haven’t completely lost your will to live (and I suppose you haven’t as you searced for this) it’s time to become the real you.

Just to give you an example of dating after divorce

I am 42 years old woman. I’m pretty, give you that, and all, but… Still 42. Men don’t even search for 42 online anymore! After I started dating after divorce, I realized something, after a prolonged bit of soul-searching. I realized that I wasn’t truly naturally monogamous. I had loved so many men in my time, and never truly fell out of love with them. I also knew that I would never close the door on a few of them if for some reason they’d come knocking. I also knew I would never share a man with another woman. Where that left me was polyandry – the practice of one woman being in a permanent sexual relationship with several men (often living together with them all).

I tried just a normal dating site

I wrote a dating ad on Plenty Of Fish. A regular, non-kink, no-nonsense website. I described what I was looking for in detail. I live in a VERY old-fashioned, boring town, with mostly families living here. I did not expect 200 responses within a scope of hours. Some from younger men, but mostly men my age or older. And yes, they were real, and many very attractive.

I didn’t wind up meeting anyone special then, but I have my reasons. (Long story.) The point of this being, that even though I made it very clear I wanted something I thought no man would sign up for too easy, I got more “oh my god that’s  hot” responses than “I can live with that” responses.

If you want it, there are people out there who want the same thing. A guy I coached who decided to go polyamorous after an awful breakup wound up having 5 dates a week just by knowing what he wanted, and understanding what the women get/want out of it. He wasn’t really what you’d call Brad Pitt, either. Kinda a rough guy. (Now, he’s in a happy relationship within a year, as far as I know.)

Gentlemen, do join my site

I am in the business of turning perfectly good men bad again. 😉 I believe people are approved of for their good qualities and loved for their bad qualities. I want to help you find a person who thinks your flaws are divine. 😉 Someone who loves you for your flaws, not despite them because that is approval, not true love.

Do join my site to make sure you’ve got all your bases covered. My members learn to truly find themselves, their own masculine strength and perfection. We cover all the bases. Leave no rock unturned. No judgment. Just facing realities. Facing what you TRULY, really want and then going after it. No excuses.

I consider a divorce or a time directly after a break up the best time to do this, because you’re not obligated to anyone really during this time. Dating after divorce can be real fun for you… Or just another leadup to something… Less than stellar.

I coach men only, to give the members a freedom to say what they want, safe from judgment from women.

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